Will people just FUCK OFF with the judging and assuming

[TheLeastBit]

I'm fucking sick of the way this whole thing is turning people into nosey, curtain twitching, Covid police.

In supermarket today, with my shop I bought various 'party supplies'. Paper plates, napkins, party foods, plastic cups, poppers etc...

Got a few dirty looks, whatever. But a woman actually tutted and said she hopes I'm not having a NYE party with a look of disgust.

No. It's for my kids. Who have had a fucking shit year. I'm going to throw them a party in our home. I'm going to do a buffet with party food and paper plates and poppers and have a fucking disco and make the best of our NYE because they've been so low recently.

I didn't explain myself, just asked her to respectfully mind her own. But I'm sick of everyone watching what everyone else is doing. It's horrible. I hate what this is doing to people.

@TheLeastBit

No, you just turned to mumsnet with a capslock FUCK OFF

Yes. Why are you crying about it?

Have you just 'I know you are but what am I?'d me 😂

OP you were mildly (and yes, wrongly) criticised by a total stranger and you've taken to mumsnet so more strangers can tell you you're in the right. You're very unreceptive to the idea that the other woman wasn't a total bampot and outrageously out of order saying something to you

They shouldn't be close enough to u to see what you have or to speak to you so yeah they can bugger off

One of the most difficult things I've found with this whole pandemic is peoples opinions and judgement over everything you do.

Yep. Really has brought out the worst in some people, sadly...

"You're very unreceptive to the idea that the other woman wasn't a total bampot and outrageously out of order saying something to you"

But she was. If the op had been having a party for 150 people would she change her plans off the back of some snarking from a random in Tesco?

I suspect far fewer people would do/ say something to put random judgy woman's mind at ease than would gleefully watch her spiral, whatever their actual plans.

@Wheresmykimchi - It really makes me sad that even in a post like that you feel the need to tell us the boyfriend's in her bubble. It's almost unthinkign now, like I must justify myself to these random people.

Nah, that's just Mumsnet!

@Bayleaf25

Is it a bad time to say the environment still counts so YABU, just use regular plates and cups and wash hands and play music and games and have fun xx

The irony

This is so true, sadly. This and a sort of competitive misery where people who are struggling are told they have it better than others so they've no right to complain.

Have a wonderful party, OP! 🥳

Ah well! Just back from Tesco with my party food.

Sadly, no challenges from the Covid Police. 😭 I'm disappointed about that. There was even quite a queue in the frozen party food section and the staff were struggling to keep up with demand. 😃😃

Listen - I couldn’t give a shit about the virus. I’m not worried or anxious but I follow the rules. If someone asked me about party stuff I would willingly tell them because I’ve got nothing to hide

But they are there too and if they are talking to you akd not shouting they are too close so breaking the rules themselves. At that point it males no bloody difference if u went in for bread and came out with sausage rolls and a six pack...

And wheres the "compassion" for people they have no idea whats going on in their lives when they start hassling them aviut shopping which is none of their damn business.

Or does it only go one way?

I am not sure cracking a joke online about pretending to buy a holiday shop is really all that bad in the great scheme of things.

The 60 transfers and 27 elderly folk I have partying in my en suite might be more of an issue, however.

And I get that people are scared and stressed. I teach. I see stress levels every day. But many people cope by cracking jokes and being silly. That too is allowed.

Transfers = teenagers

Although transfers (?) can come too.

@Wearywithteens

“Orf1abc *@Wearywithteens* You've proved the OP's point. What gives you the right to judge what someone else is buying? You're not doing that out of shared worried, you're doing it to be unkind to another person.”

Because we are told on the news that it’s people not adhering to the rules that are spreading the virus. An A&E doctor has been quoted on the news today saying people who don’t wear masks ‘have blood on their hands’. Some NHS staff have been sectioned because of the ptsd from witnessing some of the early deaths of covid. Where is your kindness? Where is your compassion? To see someone potentially having a party and thing ‘ahh that’s nice good on them - fuck Corona eh?’

Listen - I couldn’t give a shit about the virus. I’m not worried or anxious but I follow the rules. If someone asked me about party stuff I would willingly tell them because I’ve got nothing to hide. I wouldn’t cry for hours and suddenly think I was living in 1984. I would appreciate and respect the concern people have for a dangerous and increasingly contagious virus.

I take your point about the impact I'm horrified to read some of that - but it's a non starter. If they are having a party, they don't care anyway and if they aremt you've put a downer on their good intentions.

Enjoy your party with your kids!! Hopefully next year we will all be able to party like its 1999!! Again . The vaccine is coming things will get better, this will all end at some point!!

Fear does not excuse this. As I said earlier in the thread, this year it’s covid, previously it’s been migrants, gays, Tutsis,intellectuals, Jews. Fear does not excuse condemning, busy-bodying, reporting, insulting. It just doesn’t. It really unnerves me to know a fair chunk of the population could easily be moved to behave like this.

@Ritascornershop

Fear does not excuse this. As I said earlier in the thread, this year it’s covid, previously it’s been migrants, gays, Tutsis,intellectuals, Jews. Fear does not excuse condemning, busy-bodying, reporting, insulting. It just doesn’t. It really unnerves me to know a fair chunk of the population could easily be moved to behave like this.

I agree - the "people are scared" line is wearing thin now. I've been scared plenty times in my life, I manage to refrain from being a busy bodying arsehole to others though.

The checkout lady in Waitrose had a right face on scanning my Entertaining order. Yes, I had enough food for 8 people, which was actually legal in our area but I'd ordered it, what else was I meant to do but buy it?! No point leaving it in the shop to be chucked away. We just ate really well for days!

The checkout lady in Waitrose had a right face on scanning my Entertaining order. Yes, I had enough food for 8 people, which was actually legal in our area but I'd ordered it, what else was I meant to do but buy it?! No point leaving it in the shop to be chucked away. We just ate really well for days

Customers by food. .shocker.. I mean seriously if its on the shelves u can sodding buy it . Dont see anyone removing party food or pies that serve nore than 4 people.

Stocking up isn't a bad idea anyway in case you have to isolate. Some people clearly want the argument

The problem with the endless shaming attempts of people is it rarely works for long, and quite soon lots of them go "might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb" and their behaviour gets worse.

The people who stand there shaming people might stop a bit of not very much added covid risk through it, but they risk alienating the person such that they'll just not care about the shaming and do a whole lot riskier behaviour.

@Ritascornershop

Fear does not excuse this. As I said earlier in the thread, this year it’s covid, previously it’s been migrants, gays, Tutsis,intellectuals, Jews. Fear does not excuse condemning, busy-bodying, reporting, insulting. It just doesn’t. It really unnerves me to know a fair chunk of the population could easily be moved to behave like this.

I agree

Scared or not, it is not ok to hassle people for their shopping, or to call a child a cunt for not wearing a mask (as has happened to my mask exempt daughter), reporting neighbours to the police as they have carers in and out attending to their terminally ill relative, shout abuse at people walking past their house or post shaming posts on FB because a random walked their dog twice in one day.

It is quite scary to see how easily people start behaving like this