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Original poster

AIBU to report my teen for breaking 'tier 4' ?

183 replies

ohtobeanonymous · 29/12/2020 19:12

...by meeting up with several people from different households for hours at a time, either in parks / their homes / travelling around and about the city?

I get that being at home is trying, frustrating and difficult for all of us, but she says she doesn't agree with that rule so she isn't going to follow it!

OP posts:
madroid · 29/12/2020 20:22

Do you have any leverage?
Anything you can take away that will have an impact?

Reporting to the police would be very last resort and only if it was to keep her/family safe.

annevonkleve · 29/12/2020 20:22

Unfortunately, I don’t think reporting will help. I’d take away her phone, laptop, tablet, anything she uses to organise her outings. If she continues, I’d be removing things like makeup, if she wears it, etc

How on earth would any of this help? Taking away make-up? Blimey there are really some crazy people on MN. And presumably she needs a device for schooling?

DipSwimSwoosh · 29/12/2020 20:22

I'd not be at all bothered about the rule breaking but extremely concerned about the other behaviours, look up county lines.

emilyfrost · 29/12/2020 20:24

YANBU. She needs to learn that actions have consequences, so if she’s going to break the rules she has to deal with everything that may come from that.

novaparty12 · 29/12/2020 20:24

Quite harsh replies. I have a 14 yr old whose friends are constantly flouting the rules. There is a sleep over 4 doors down tonight 8 of them!!! 17 is really really really hard it honestly seems like the rule doent apply to teenagers. In our local town today (tier 2) we nipped into mcdonalds for a take away and there were big groups of teens at tables my sister said costa in her town was exactly the same. Really hard if everybody else is doing it why can't they. At 14 my DD is still a child and she relies on us for lifts etc so can say no but at 17 especially if they drive it is really hard.

sazzysazz337 · 29/12/2020 20:24

If she’s involved with any gang or county lines stuff which does seem possible from what OP has said, reporting her to the police will only push her away further

Also, if she’s got unexplained money she’ll only buy a new phone etc

PurpleHoodie · 29/12/2020 20:30

This is not a Covid 19 issue. It is deeper than that for your family.

I suggest reporting your post and asking MNHQ to move it over to Teenagers or Relationships.

You'll get some sympathetic ears and seasoned advice FlowersBrew

MichelleScarn · 29/12/2020 20:31

Yes it's very sad. It's difficult to have a clinically vulnerable parent. is this said with truth or facetiousness to the difficulties your daughter might be having, which if she does also have a sw, am assuming she is having issues?

PinkiOcelot · 29/12/2020 20:35

Ahhh OP you must be beside yourself. Can you try (somehow) to get to the bottom of what is going on? It’s so hard at this age.

My DD2 is 16 and I feel so far away from her at the minute it’s unreal.

I can only assume those up in arms and issuing statements about discipline your own child, have young ones!

MiriamMargo · 29/12/2020 20:40

She sounds like an obnoxious brat, with no respect. Your her parent, put some house rules down !!

AcornAutumn · 29/12/2020 20:40

OP "unexplained money coming in"

Um, you need to look at this.

TragedyHands · 29/12/2020 20:41

Isn't that like shooting yourself in the foot?
You'll get a fine Grin

Lurcherloves · 29/12/2020 20:41

OMG what is wrong with you? Overbearing parent springs to mind

InMulieribus · 29/12/2020 20:44

@Tenyearsgone

Good luck with grounding a 17 year old. 😂
I was going to say that, but you beat me to it. 😂
GuiEtVin · 29/12/2020 20:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

FarTooSkinny · 29/12/2020 20:47

She is an absolute disgrace. But reporting her will make no difference as the police don't care less. Suggest your break a few of her fingers then lock her in the basement for a week or two

Inastatus · 29/12/2020 20:48

Jeez - seriously?? FFS, what has it come to when you are thinking of shopping in your own kid!

Empressofthemundane · 29/12/2020 20:51

I don’t think the police would be interested. This is a difficult parenting issue.

You have my sympathy OP.

bookworm14 · 29/12/2020 20:52

Forget covid rules - you should worry about the unexplained money! Could easily be drug/gang related.

MrsCremuel · 29/12/2020 20:52

Oh for god sake, get a grip. Just discipline them!

rollinggreenhills · 29/12/2020 20:53

@Mousehole10

Why can't you discipline your own child?

Doh. I hate to break it to you, but some young people won't do as they are told.

You can't physically prevent someone the size of an adult from going out, you can't stop them from doing what they want to do when they are out.

What would you suggest - that parents lock recalcitrant adolescents up, so they can't leave the house?

Oh12lookanothernamechange1234 · 29/12/2020 20:55

Just so you are aware you would be fined, not your child.

So do it if you want too, but ultimately police would issue the fine to you.

KarmaNoMore · 29/12/2020 20:55

If someone knows how to ground a 17 year old please send me a PM.

I kept mine inside by declining to give him his monthly allowance if he went out, but once I pay him on 1st January I have no negotiating power Hmm

Tenyearsgone · 29/12/2020 20:56

@MrsCremuel

Oh for god sake, get a grip. Just discipline them!
What do you suggest? We are talking about a 17 year old.