AIBU to report my teen for breaking 'tier 4' ?

[ohtobeanonymous]

...by meeting up with several people from different households for hours at a time, either in parks / their homes / travelling around and about the city?

I get that being at home is trying, frustrating and difficult for all of us, but she says she doesn't agree with that rule so she isn't going to follow it!

@OhDearShirley

'Unexplained money coming in' You have bigger problems than her breaking tier 4 restrictions.

Quite. You need to find out where it is coming from.

Where is the extra money coming from? OnlyFans?

@SweetPetrichor

Unfortunately, I don’t think reporting will help. I’d take away her phone, laptop, tablet, anything she uses to organise her outings. If she continues, I’d be removing things like makeup, if she wears it, etc. We’re in Scotland, tier 4, and teens are out on mass ignoring rules. They were standing outside shouting on my neighbours kid wanting him to go out too but his parents aren’t letting him out to roam, thankfully. I think a lot of teens don’t think of the impact on others...or that it’s hard for others too. It’s infuriating.

My son who is 13 is the same. He wants to go out with his friend but tbh, I think its too much of a risk atm. Numbers need to come down. He is a bit disappointed but he accepts it. I appreciate he is younger and 17 is a hard age for rules!

I hope she's prepared to stay home and look after you if she gets infected and passes it on to you OP.

Well cutting off her usual friends and suddenly having money from an unknown source changes things somewhat. This would be of significant concern at any time.

Yes if you report her you in effect are reporting yourself - you are responsible until she is 18

Please access help and support though if you can on how to deal with it

I'm not even reading your opening post. From your header alone, yes YABVU

Life in East Germany...

It honestly worries me reading posts like these where people are asking if they should report anyone - let alone their own child.

She's 17 and has her own mind. If she wants to break rules, she can break them.

All these posters popping up who either have very malleable teens or have tiny kids that you can put on the naughty step!

OP don’t go down the road of reporting her, try and find out where she’s going, where this money is coming from and what’s going on. Difficult if she won’t talk to you, it’s very hard.

I'd be very worried about where the money is suddenly coming from.

Who’ll end up paying her fine?

I wouldn't even discipline her myself, just have a serious talk about the situation. Life is shite for kids at the moment and they need support and understanding.

if my mum had grounded me at 17 I’d have been out that bedroom window and down the drainpipe 😂😂

Of course, nobody is worrying about the effect all this is having on teens' mental health, the ruin to their education, the likelihood that they will graduate into the worst recession in living memory, and the fact that their generation will be paying for all this for decades to come. Far more important to dob them in.

I look forward to the thread a few years down the line about your daughter ‘going NC’.

The only thing that screams alarm to me is the unexplained money and outings late at night

Please address this OP she could be dealing drugs for someone or being used to do that county lines shit for much older men.

Ban privileges for a set time frame. She will learn. Awkward age to report as still classed as a child.

I'd be really worried about where the money is coming from. Look up county lines. This is well worth a watch for both you and her if you can get her to

Oh for goodness sake mind your own business . She’s 17 you can only advise them at that age and hope they take notice .

Don't report her but don't fund her social life/phone/ clothes until she shows some respect to you. She is 17,she is not a little child. Some 17 year old's are mature enough to be in the Armed Forces, so don't allow her to act like a 13 year old.

Consider the long term implications before you report. Do you really think she deserves a long term criminal record for doing normal things at the age of 17?

God that sounds hard. I have 3 teenagers and am constantly second guessing how I deal with their issues.
I think first off, I would make it entirely clear to her that you are on her side. She may laugh at you but insist that you love her to bits and will support her without judgement. That you trust her to make the right decisions but are happy to be a sounding board if she needs to confide.

Breaking covid rules is a symptom not the problem so I would focus on making her feel strong enough to make good decisions and supported enough to tell you when her poor decisions go wrong.

Taking her phone away etc is an option but more likely to make her rebel further.

I would try and be on her side as she is clearly struggling.

Good luck - sorry - I have no concrete advice. It's really tricky keeping these adults safe.

I think you should deal with her yourself. The police have enough to do at the moment don’t you think!?