AIBU to report my teen for breaking 'tier 4' ?

[ohtobeanonymous]

...by meeting up with several people from different households for hours at a time, either in parks / their homes / travelling around and about the city?

I get that being at home is trying, frustrating and difficult for all of us, but she says she doesn't agree with that rule so she isn't going to follow it!

Omg do people really think like this?

Is this real?

What the actual fuck.

I am ashamed of my country :(

My teens have really struggled so I am supporting them by driving them so they they can go for for allowed walks with friends. When we were tier 2 I allowed them to use our garden. It's hard for them, but as the parent you can either support or report.
I would rather not lose the relationship. Also by allowing some things and maintaining an open dialogue you're more likely to be able to put your foot down when it's really needed and to be respected for it.

My friend has this problem with her 18 yo son who won't stay at home. She says "What can I do? He's 6ft 4 - I can't physically stop him"

What the hell can you do when they're that age?

Don't report.
She's under 18 so you would be reprimanded for it not her.

Why can't you discipline your own child?

Yes OP completely unreasonable. Who on earth reports their own kids??????

I think you’ll get an absolute bashing in AIBU for asking this.

Just parent better

@ilovesooty

So she doesn't care about responsibility to her own family? No idea what I'd do but that's appalling.

Yes it's very sad. It's difficult to have a clinically vulnerable parent. but doesn't seem to understand how continuing to break tier 4 restrictions just means that the restrictions are either going to 1) go on for longer and/or 2) become even harsher OR how she could inadvertently be infecting others if she's asymptomatic.

As for grounding her, she would just laugh. If she doesn't agree with anything, she just ignores it! All part of a total change of character in the past month or so from a new bunch of 'friends' - unexplained money coming in, random outings with various people and only ever late in the afternoon until late at night/the early hours, completely cut herself off from longterm friends etc... Trying to give her freedom over her choices but also to experience the consequences of bad choices without actually being in danger.

School have referred her to a social worker. It's much more than the topic of this post at home atm...

@MajesticWhine

Glad it's not just my teens then.

It's hard isn't it? It's not her sister also, though, so I'm grateful for that...

Are you funding her social life (inc the phone she uses to arrange it)?

Just seen the bit about unexplained money coming in. That would pique my interest way more than the T4 rule breaking.

Report her to whom? Hopefully not the overworked police?

Plus they won't take your word for it and issue a fine - otherwise that would be a gift to all who hate their neighbours/family.

It would serve you right to have absolutely no relationship with your child in the future. Hth.

I think people are being overly harsh here. Me and my 16 year old argue about stuff like this constantly and yes she ties the line but I have no idea where I could go next if she just refused. It's draining enough just arguing with her 24:7

Jesus.. I have no words

WTF? Report your own child? To the police?!

Ah, you'd make a good Stasi.

Give over! I really think if you called the police to report her, they would do nothing anyway. You need to set boundaries and parent her. I just don’t agree with all this ‘give your young teens freedom to make their own mistakes’, because it never ends well.

'Unexplained money coming in'
You have bigger problems than her breaking tier 4 restrictions.

There are some horrible posts here.

@ohtobeananymous I'm so sorry. You must be at the end of your tether.

Unfortunately, I don’t think reporting will help. I’d take away her phone, laptop, tablet, anything she uses to organise her outings. If she continues, I’d be removing things like makeup, if she wears it, etc.
We’re in Scotland, tier 4, and teens are out on mass ignoring rules. They were standing outside shouting on my neighbours kid wanting him to go out too but his parents aren’t letting him out to roam, thankfully. I think a lot of teens don’t think of the impact on others...or that it’s hard for others too. It’s infuriating.

@Mousehole10
Why can't you discipline your own child?

How old are your kids out of interest? And same question for everyone else who gave iterations of 'ground them' etc.

Do you have any tips and tricks on how to keep two 6ft 7 boys ages 17 and 19 in? Y'know without tying them up, which apparently is illegal. Asking for a friend and all that. I really think a lot of Mumsnet people are clueless when it comes to older teens especially those with and and adhd etc.

Unless you're willing to actually chuck them out there is zero you can do apart from attempt to appeal to their better natures. And as narcissism levels are often high in this age group, they only really think of themselves.

And op - you have my every sympathy

The truth is there is very little you can do. No magic that will transform them into the kind of kids who will listen.

I've been trawling through the old Teenagers threads - especially the posts by a lady called MaryZ, although sadly, many are now deleted, which makes me wonder what happened to these teens. Hope they grew out of this

Wow! I can’t believe you’d report your own child. If she is fined, I guess you’d have to pay and take the responsibility for her actions as she is a child.

Have a word with yourself. If/when this is over how will you look at yourself??? Jeez.

Effectively you'd be reporting yourself for not being in control of your kid... I expect the civil liability would fall at your feet..