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Original poster

Tier 4 - not the same for everyone in it

197 replies

bagpuss90 · 20/12/2020 14:20

To be a bit fed up with Facebook comments saying “Christmas isn’t cancelled”, “it’s not that bad” , “ “ it’s not the end of the world” and so on. These are coming from people who will be spending Christmas cosied up with the family they live with. I know at least three people who will be forced to spend Christmas on their own - at least one of them suffers mental health problems . It’s not the same - you cannot compare the situations. I also know a couple whose granddaughter is tragically terminally ill. It will be her last Christmas and they can’t see her without breaking the law. I’m sorry it is not the same for everyone - it really isn’t . We are not all in the same boat . Rant over

OP posts:
EleanorRigbyWasReal · 20/12/2020 18:24

Christmas is cancelled if you want to go out, socialise, get pissed, throw up in the street, spend too much on stuff you cannot afford, spend Boxing Day queueing up to buy yet more stuff you can’t afford and don’t need.

I haven’t cancelled it. We will Zoom all family we were going to see. Eat nice food. Play games/quizzes/walks.

People need to stand back and take a good look at what Christmas is supposed to be about. I’m non religious.

ClarenceBoddicker · 20/12/2020 18:27

This is why I’m not going to slay myself for bending some new seemingly unrealistically practicable rule W hich gets added and removed continuously but will still get angry about people having huge house parties and taking the piss

Leuty · 20/12/2020 18:31

Totally sick of people who are not in tier 4 telling me how I should feel. Christmas spent with my loved ones was keeping me going.

OrigamiOwl · 20/12/2020 18:38

SINGLE PEOPLE CANNOT BUBBLE IF THERE IS NO ONE TO BUBBLE WITH

Just to add my voice to this.
If your "bubblee" had made plans with someone else this Christmas (their own family for example) and you're not invited. If you live in a houseshare with strangers. If you're a lodger in sometime else's house.
Finding someone to bubble with with 5 days notice is not as easy as some people seem to believe.

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 18:40

I haven’t cancelled it. We will Zoom all family we were going to see. Eat nice food. Play games/quizzes/walks.

Think about what it means to be able to say 'we'.

CoronaIsWatching · 20/12/2020 18:49

@Leuty

Totally sick of people who are not in tier 4 telling me how I should feel. Christmas spent with my loved ones was keeping me going.
Well I bet you weren't bothered about those in tier 3 when you were in tier 2
BillysMyBunny · 20/12/2020 18:50
  • Christmas is cancelled if you want to go out, socialise, get pissed, throw up in the street, spend too much on stuff you cannot afford, spend Boxing Day queueing up to buy yet more stuff you can’t afford and don’t need.

I haven’t cancelled it. We will Zoom all family we were going to see. Eat nice food. Play games/quizzes/walks.

People need to stand back and take a good look at what Christmas is supposed to be about. I’m non religious.*

I don’t want to go out, socialise, get drunk etc. I have never done any of those things at Christmas.

I wanted to be with my Mum and my sibling for our first Christmas since losing my Dad earlier this year. I wanted to be with family and play games, go for walks, eat nice food, exchange modest gifts etc.

Instead I will be at home hundreds of miles from my mum and at home completely on my own. Yes, I can set aside a portion of the day to zoom my family but it’s not going to feel the same as being there with them,

Dishwashersaurous · 20/12/2020 18:56

No one is not saying that it is completely shit, and incredibly disappointing.

That millions of people can’t be with the people that they want to be with.

However, it is true that many people, if they want to, could spend the day with another human rather than alone.

Now if the only option is your tenth choice then it might be preferable to be alone than with a distant friend/ lodger etc. But it is an option

Pumpkintopf · 20/12/2020 19:02

@Watermelon888 @Blowingagale this has now been updated, people not in tier 4 can see one other household, on Christmas Day only - not two for five days as it was previously.

  1. Forming a Christmas bubble
Christmas bubbles, support bubbles and childcare bubbles are all different things and have their own specific rules. The rules on Christmas bubbles will be put into law. Once in force, you must follow the rules to minimise the spread of infection. You can only form a Christmas bubble if you do not live in a Tier 4 area. If you are permitted to form a Christmas bubble and choose to do so: • keep your Christmas bubble as small as possible. Two other households is a maximum, not a target • do not join a Christmas bubble with anyone from a Tier 4 area • stop all unnecessary social contact outside your immediate household as soon as possible and for at least five days before you meet other households in your bubble • only meet your Christmas bubble in private homes or in your garden, places of worship, or public outdoor spaces • only see your bubble on Christmas Day. Do not stay overnight and keep your visits as short as possible • stay local where possible. Avoid travelling from a high prevalence to a low prevalence area • only meet people who are not in your Christmas bubble outside your home according to the rules in the tier you live in (unless coming from a lower to a higher tier) and do not meet socially with friends and family that you do not live with in your home or garden unless they are part of your Christmas bubble When seeing your Christmas bubble, you should keep taking steps to reduce the spread of the virus. This includes meeting outdoors where possible, ensuring indoor spaces get as much fresh air as possible, making space between members of different households wherever you can, washing your hands regularly and for 20 seconds, and following rules on self-isolationn_ if you develop symptoms or test positive for coronavirus. You must not visit another household if you, or anyone in your household, is feeling unwell or self-isolating. You should get a free NHS testt_ if you have symptoms, have been asked to by your local council or your hospital, or are taking part in a government pilot project.
Dishwashersaurous · 20/12/2020 19:08

Genuine support question how can a support bubble have made plans with someone else that excludes the single adult.

Legally the point of the support bubble is to provide support to the single person.

Dishwashersaurous · 20/12/2020 19:08

If the support bubble says that the single person isn’t part of it then they are surely not a support bubble

Ted27 · 20/12/2020 19:08

@EleanorRigbyWasReal

I am 56 years old with a 16 year old autistic son.
I have no desire to go out, get pissed, throw up in the gutter, I have never in my life gone to the sales on Boxing Day

I have spent the last 9 months looking at a screen 10 hours a day in my living room. I’ve had my fill of zoom, teams, facetime

@Dishwashersaurous I don’t want to find some random person to spend the day with. Its not about being with someone for the sake of it.m

I’m not even that fussed about about Christmas day. But I would like to see my mum and my son would like to see his nan.

I’m sucking it up, I’m staying home. I’m allowed to be pissed off about it without people like you spouting insensitive crap.

Leuty · 20/12/2020 19:18

@CoronaIsWatching which tier are you in?

BeanieB2020 · 20/12/2020 19:20

Agreed. It is not the same for everyone and bubbles still mean a lot of single people will be left alone because of not having anyone to bubble with or their bubble deciding to be with family instead of them, or them having been not allowed a bubble because of being stuck in a flat share.

I am beyond tired of all of the families virtues signaling and "make it special with your own household" nonsense and then coming out with insensitive comments to single people that essentially amount to "just suck it up"

So much empathy has either disappeared this year or just wasn't there to begin with and now it's showing. I'd love to see if anyone with a partner and family at home would willingly go and spend Christmas alone and enjoy it in the way they're expecting single people to.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 19:21

@Justa47 It appears I can read and many other can’t. no you are reading but you are clearly not understanding. What do you think it says? Genuine question.

EleanorRigbyWasReal · 20/12/2020 19:22

@Ted27... apologies. I’m just remembering my time in A&E working nights over the Xmas/New Year mayhem. I guess I have a cynical view. My autistic son is 20 now and has never “done” Christmas so it’s always been fairly quiet for me, as a single mum.

It’s shocking hard for everyone.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 19:25

@Ted27 I cannot visit my family on Christmas day because there are no trains so go tonight, Tuesday , Christmas Eve when ever you choose if they are you bubble.

BillysMyBunny · 20/12/2020 19:28

*Genuine support question how can a support bubble have made plans with someone else that excludes the single adult.

Legally the point of the support bubble is to provide support to the single person.*

I live on my own so have been able to form a support bubble. I don’t have any family nearby and have formed a support bubble with friends who are a couple. I go over to visit them for dinner once or twice a month at the weekend so that I don’t have to spend every single weekend alone but that is as much as they offer me in terms of support. They’re spending Christmas with his side of the family and understandably they’ve not invited me, they’re not the hosts and I have never met his sibling or parents. I suppose it’s possible if I made a fuss about being alone they would feel obliged to invite me but if that was the case I would feel awkward gate-crashing their Christmas when I know they haven’t seen each other for months and that having me there as an essential stranger to half of the family would change the dynamic for them.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 19:29

If two friends Bob and Bill form a bubble and Bill has a wife and kids and goes to his parents for Christmas Bob can still go because him and Bill are one household.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 19:30

Not in tier 4.

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 19:30

Genuine support question how can a support bubble have made plans with someone else that excludes the single adult.

Because people were planning to meet up under Christmas bubble rules, not support bubble rules and Christmas bubble rules can include more than 2 households but are no longer allowed for people living in tier 4.

I think you are maybe confusing Christmas bubbles and support bubbles.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 19:31

If it was tier 4 Bob can stay overnight at Bobs house whenever he wants it’s just non of them can go elsewhere.

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 19:31

*at Bills house.

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 19:33

If two friends Bob and Bill form a bubble and Bill has a wife and kids and goes to his parents for Christmas Bob can still go because him and Bill are one household.

I don't know the rules for blended families, but if you were only applying Christmas bubble rules, that wouldn't be allowed in tier 4.

MotherForker · 20/12/2020 19:35

Many people have already formed bubbles with people who aren't able to over Xmas. Because they might be seeing family. You can't just keep forming bubbles all the time. You can have one support bubble.

There was a student in Radio 4 last night who isn't allowed to bubble because of the rules of her accommodation. She now can't travel to her parents.

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