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Original poster

Tier 4 - not the same for everyone in it

197 replies

bagpuss90 · 20/12/2020 14:20

To be a bit fed up with Facebook comments saying “Christmas isn’t cancelled”, “it’s not that bad” , “ “ it’s not the end of the world” and so on. These are coming from people who will be spending Christmas cosied up with the family they live with. I know at least three people who will be forced to spend Christmas on their own - at least one of them suffers mental health problems . It’s not the same - you cannot compare the situations. I also know a couple whose granddaughter is tragically terminally ill. It will be her last Christmas and they can’t see her without breaking the law. I’m sorry it is not the same for everyone - it really isn’t . We are not all in the same boat . Rant over

OP posts:
Scarlettpixie · 20/12/2020 15:28

Christmas isn’t cancelled. It will just be different for some. Those whinging that their family of 4 cannot now meet up with another families are getting on my pip. I am sick of people making out that a Christmas that doesn’t involve lots of people is shit. Someone was even saying bank holidays should be cancelled on here yesterday!

My Christmas will be the same as it was pre Covid. I don’t have a big family so the main event it is always small and quiet. Ex h comes over in the morning and from 12 it will be just me and DS. Even in tier 4 this would be allowed as I am in a bubble with ex.

Most of my socialising usually happens in the run up and obviously hasn’t happened this year. That’s ok. We are in a pandemic and needs must. I haven’t been in a pub since March. My choice.

Single people can still bubble so no need to be alone due to new gov rules. That said I know people who are choosing to be alone so as not to risk infecting parents or other vulnerable people. Why are your 3 friends forced to be alone?

Most people I know in real life were already not choosing a big get together and that was before yesterday’s announcement. We are tier 3.

If someone I loved was terminally ill I would be tempted to break the rules but then I would also be worried about taking the virus to them and making them more ill. As was said yesterday, I think you have to assume you might be infectious (and similarly that others are). . If you think that was, you won’t want to be mixing. That’s how I feel anyway.

Scarlettpixie · 20/12/2020 15:32

Think I read this on here during the first Lockdown - we're all in the same storm, but each boat is different. This helps me a lot

The is a really good way of looking at it.

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 15:32

People who are alone are allowed to form a bubble.

Only if the people they could bubble with aren't already in a bubble with somebody else.

Witchend · 20/12/2020 15:32

You're right, it's not the same for everyone.

There's people in tier 1 or 2 who haven't been out since March because they're shielding themselves or a family member. I spoke to someone last week who hasn't spoken to another adult since August as she's shielding her dd.

pickingdaisies · 20/12/2020 15:34

For me, it's a massive disappointment but I'll cope, I'm not completely alone. But I wish people would stop saying "it's just a day". It's been the single glimmer of light in a year of shitty days for some people, and they might have already sacrificed a lot to make it happen safely. They might be hanging by a thread. Yes it's necessary but some compassion for people who are finding it really, really tough would not go amiss.

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 15:35

Also, leaving aside any rules and regulations, some people will be alone because they need to shield. That may not be anyone's fault, but that won't necessarily make the situation easier.

Lobeu · 20/12/2020 15:37

I know at least three people who will be forced to spend Christmas on their own - at least one of them suffers mental health problems . It’s not the same - you cannot compare the situations. I also know a couple whose granddaughter is tragically terminally ill. It will be her last Christmas and they can’t see her without breaking the law

In all of the above cases, if it were me, I would see family as planned.

Bollocks to spending Christmas alone or not seeing a dying relative during their last month's.

Wild horses couldn't stop me, never mind the government.

CoronaIsWatching · 20/12/2020 15:39

@pickingdaisies

For me, it's a massive disappointment but I'll cope, I'm not completely alone. But I wish people would stop saying "it's just a day". It's been the single glimmer of light in a year of shitty days for some people, and they might have already sacrificed a lot to make it happen safely. They might be hanging by a thread. Yes it's necessary but some compassion for people who are finding it really, really tough would not go amiss.
I do worry about some of these people on boxing day when xmas is over and they're staring down the barrel of a long dark winter with nothing to look forward to.
BlueBottle18 · 20/12/2020 15:41

Im properly fed up of people living in their nice houses, with their children and husband/wife saying 'christmas isnt cancelled, its just different'. Just fuck off. Its all over sm and its pissing me off. Yes if your having a christmas with dc of course its not cancelled, thats just a normal but small xmas

I will be spending christmas alone. I am an NHS dr working christmas day. My parents are tier 4, they have 2 children and we decided my brother needed more support. My BF is going to see his parents as a support bubble, because his mum was pretty devastated by being unable to see her dc on xmas, he is my usual support bubble. I will be okay but its shit

So many of my friends live in flat shares, or shitty studio flats in london. Or again crappy accomodation provided by work. So many are now spending christmas alone in a bedroom. So many of my friends didnt see their partners for months and have been so good. Our have been lives completely put on hold.

I dont want to hear that your christmas is just different. I am angry that my parents are apparently perfectly safe to be surrounded by hundreds of teenagers/children daily but not safe to see me for one day. And Im also a bit jealous of the children who get to spend every day with my wonderful mum, never thought Id be jealous of a ten year old.

I keep seeing people on SM posting all the charities people who are struggling can go to for support. I dont need a charity I need my mum.

Skipsurvey · 20/12/2020 15:42

dont make comparisons op, try and make the best of the situation.

Skipsurvey · 20/12/2020 15:43

please dont set so much in store for one over blown celebration

Namechange123409876 · 20/12/2020 15:45

Going to see someone who is dying isn't wrong, they should go. My mum had terminal cancer and I was visiting her in the first lockdown. I didn't care what people thought, she is my mum and I was spending her last days with her whether it was against the law or not. She lived 10 minutes from me driving and I was driving to her with no cars on the road. I got stopped by the Police and told them what I was doing. They said that's fine and wished me well 🤷‍♀️

Beautifulbonnie · 20/12/2020 15:46

My friends 15 yr old daughter died 2 weeks ago. It’s her funeral tomorrow

Throughout this they carried on. But as I’m sure your friends know. That risk of Covid to a terminal patient is one that not many people will risk. It’s so so so so sad.

Vinosaurus · 20/12/2020 15:49

Honestly think those with terminally ill immediate family (inc grandparents/grandchildren) who are not expected to live another 12 months should be entirely exempted from the "visiting friends and family" rules irrespective of tiers.

AcornAutumn · 20/12/2020 15:50

OP

The law allows for visits to the terminally ill. You won’t be breaking it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2020 15:50

@BlueBottle18 thanks for everything you do. I keep thinking of people who work Christmas Day. I've done a few over the years and this year it would be shit. To give up Christmas to do your job, and have no way to celebrate differently. It's crap.

And no, Christmas isn't cancelled for those of us with a house and family that lives in it. We're 'adopting' a single friend if she wants to bubble. She's alone, works from home, her partner lives a distance away so she hasn't seen him in a while. It's really rough.

loulouljh · 20/12/2020 15:53

It is not law. Common sense should be applied be people. Agree though...it is particularly tough for some..

AldiAisleofCrap · 20/12/2020 15:53

@bagpuss90 Sorry but I think to spend Christmas alone could be the last straw for some people if they’ve had a shit year it’s irrelevant what tier your bubble is in your can spend Christmas with them so your whole thread makes zero sense.

Ted27 · 20/12/2020 15:54

its not as simple as saying single people can bubble.
I am too far away from my family, most of my friends are not local, those that are local are quite rightly prioritising their own families

So no I can’t bubble as there is no one to bubble with

Ultimatecougar · 20/12/2020 15:55

Bubbles for a lot of single people without close family are non existent. Because everyone they could bubble with are already bubbled with their own family. It just makes you feel even more shit and unchosen.

MiddlesexGirl · 20/12/2020 15:55

Single people can bubble but only if they can find someone to bubble with. For many it will be too late to do that now.

JinglingHellsBells · 20/12/2020 15:55

@bagpuss90

To be a bit fed up with Facebook comments saying “Christmas isn’t cancelled”, “it’s not that bad” , “ “ it’s not the end of the world” and so on. These are coming from people who will be spending Christmas cosied up with the family they live with. I know at least three people who will be forced to spend Christmas on their own - at least one of them suffers mental health problems . It’s not the same - you cannot compare the situations. I also know a couple whose granddaughter is tragically terminally ill. It will be her last Christmas and they can’t see her without breaking the law. I’m sorry it is not the same for everyone - it really isn’t . We are not all in the same boat . Rant over
@bagpuss90 If you read the small print of the Gov.Uk website it does say that where there is need such as terminally ill people, there can be exceptions for seeing them.
RavingAnnie · 20/12/2020 15:56

@bagpuss90

We are only just in tier four here- 15 mins down the road it’s tier three 🙄Two of the three people bubbled up with someone in tier three. So they aren’t allowed to see them.
It doesn't matter they are in different tiers. Support bubbles still operate and can mix as if they were one household.
AcornAutumn · 20/12/2020 15:57

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]**@bagpuss90* Sorry but I think to spend Christmas alone could be the last straw for some people if they’ve had a shit year* it’s irrelevant what tier your bubble is in your can spend Christmas with them so your whole thread makes zero sense.[/quote]
But if you’re not meant to stay the night that eliminates anyone who doesn’t have a a car and/or doesn’t drive.

Will Uber be running?

AndcalloffChristmas · 20/12/2020 15:58

I agree we aren’t all in the same boat.

Yes single adults can have a support bubble but many will have no one who wants them to bubble with them, either because they’re not their first choice single person or because they’re to worried about the virus to have anyone at all. Or maybe they live far from people who might be their bubble and don’t drive?