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Original poster

Tier 4 - not the same for everyone in it

197 replies

bagpuss90 · 20/12/2020 14:20

To be a bit fed up with Facebook comments saying “Christmas isn’t cancelled”, “it’s not that bad” , “ “ it’s not the end of the world” and so on. These are coming from people who will be spending Christmas cosied up with the family they live with. I know at least three people who will be forced to spend Christmas on their own - at least one of them suffers mental health problems . It’s not the same - you cannot compare the situations. I also know a couple whose granddaughter is tragically terminally ill. It will be her last Christmas and they can’t see her without breaking the law. I’m sorry it is not the same for everyone - it really isn’t . We are not all in the same boat . Rant over

OP posts:
Lifeispassingby · 20/12/2020 17:29

Both households in a support bubble count as one household, so technically someone in a support bubble can effectively mix with 2 households

PaperHalo · 20/12/2020 17:31

There are exceptions for visiting people with a terminal diagnosis. My FIL is very unwell with terminal cancer and my mum was given two months to live 2 weeks ago, partner and I are able to visit both without penalty.
The situation is so so hard for so so many people but single people can bubble regardless of tier so if I’m honest I’m getting a little bored of the ‘people forced to spend Christ alone because of the restrictions’. The restrictions make allowances for single people - even during lockdown - and so if people are still alone in spite of this then maybe they were going to be alone anyway! Obviously it’s still shitty that anyone would be alone at Christmas but it’s not because of COViD in many cases.

Dishwashersaurous · 20/12/2020 17:33

Just to shout again.

Single adults can form support bubble with another family.

They can travel from any tier to any tier to do so.

There is no reason why for anyone to have to be alone.

Tucancrossing · 20/12/2020 17:37

I agree. My mum had a big argument with her sister yesterday. Her sister, who conveniently lives with her husband and both her children and her plans haven't been changed, was telling her how it's not the end of the world, it's only one Christmas, she'd be selfish to break the rules etc. etc. My mum's birthday is Boxing Day and although she basically lives alone, she has a lodger, so technically can't form a bubble. So her options are spend Christmas completely alone, spend it with her lodger who isn't a friend or anything so it would be very weird, or break the law. No, she's not a selfish person for not wanting to spend Christmas and her birthday alone 🙄

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 17:39

@Dishwashersaurous

Just to shout again.

Single adults can form support bubble with another family.

They can travel from any tier to any tier to do so.

There is no reason why for anyone to have to be alone.

I think I'm going to have to shout louder.

YOU CAN'T JOIN A SUPPORT BUBBLE IF ANOTHER SINGLE PERSON HAS ALREADY BEEN ADDED TO THE BUBBLE.

Firefretted · 20/12/2020 17:44

I lodge in Tier 4. I now have to stay here for Christmas, leaving my sibling to spend the day alone, which breaks my heart. We have no other family. My landlord's partner bubbles with our household so I can't form a bubble with my sibling. In any case, I can't drive and there'll obviously be no trains on Christmas day. Sibling lives in a different part of the country and doesn't really know anyone in the local area to bubble with. It's not as easy as just forming a bubble.

Ted27 · 20/12/2020 17:53

@Dishwashersaurous
and I will also have to shout louder

SINGLE PEOPLE CANNOT BUBBLE IF THERE IS NO ONE TO BUBBLE WITH

I cannot visit my family on Christmas day because there are no trains

Watermelon888 · 20/12/2020 17:56

[quote BillysMyBunny]@Watermelon888 - the government guidance for Christmas refers to the usual support bubbles still being able to exist in all tiers, it is only the Christmas support bubbles which no longer allow for staying overnight. If you or your DM meet the support bubble criteria (Eg: single adult household) and haven’t been part of another support bubble for the last 10 days you can form a support bubble and stay overnight.

www.gov.uk/guidance/guidance-for-the-christmas-period
www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household[/quote]
Thanks so much

Dishwashersaurous · 20/12/2020 17:57

Ok. Pretty much everyone should know someone they can bubble with.

Might not be first choice, second choice or even tenth choice but someone

Watermelon888 · 20/12/2020 17:58

@Blowingagale

Watermelon

www.gov.uk/government/publications/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family

Was updated 19/12
Areas not in Tier 4 If you do not live in a Tier 4 area, you may see a maximum of two other households (your ‘Christmas bubble’) on Christmas Day (25 December). You cannot see anyone from a Tier 4 area.

Thanks so much
BillysMyBunny · 20/12/2020 18:01

The restrictions make allowances for single people - even during lockdown - and so if people are still alone in spite of this then maybe they were going to be alone anyway! Obviously it’s still shitty that anyone would be alone at Christmas but it’s not because of COViD in many cases.

That’s not true. I wasn’t due to be alone and now I will be. I was supposed to travel to my Mum and stay from 23rd -27th but now that the rules are Christmas Day only and no overnights I have had to change my plans as it is too far to travel there and back in one day. My sibling (who also lives alone) was also due to travel to her and is also too far away to travel there and back in a day. Only two households can form a support bubble so me and my sibling can’t both go and stay with her overnight using the ‘support bubble’ excuse, and besides we already have local support bubbles (who haven’t invited us for Christmas) and we can’t just change our bubbles a few days before Christmas as you need to isolate from your original bubble for 10 days before switching to a new one.

BlueBottle18 · 20/12/2020 18:02

@Dishwashersaurous I dont want to spend it with a randomer, I want to spend it with my parents, or my family. But I cannot bubble with them, because they are bubbling with others who need it more

Many single people do not have someone to bubble with. Stop being so bloody insensitive.

Starfish50 · 20/12/2020 18:03

I am also going to shout

SINGLE PEOPLE CANNOT BUBBLE IF THERE IS NO ONE TO BUBBLE WITH

I am fed up of being told to form a bubble. Most people are bubbled with family, not their single friends.

BlueBottle18 · 20/12/2020 18:04

Also no i wasnt due to be alone. I was supposed to spend it with my parents and brother. Suprisingly many parents have more than one adult child.

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2020 18:04

@Thisismylife1

Yes this is unnecessary melodramatic.

Single people can bubble.

There are exceptions for end of life situations. I think that will be sufficient.

Honestly, it’s one year and the vaccine is in sight. But cases are rocketing and our NHS cannot cope.

Exactly.

My sister and her husband left London to stay with his parents, his father is dying and might not make it to Christmas. They were actually already on the way when they heard the news about Tier 4.

MrsLebowski · 20/12/2020 18:09

I feel sorry for anyone who will be on their own or is disappointed about not seeing loved ones after they arranged it, it's very disappointing to have it snatched away.

TonTonMacoute · 20/12/2020 18:10

YANBU

Janice Turner wrote in the Times yesterday that there are many people who will be eating their last ever Christmas lunch alone this year.

This is true, sadly, and is not something that should be taken lightly.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 20/12/2020 18:11

@Dishwashersaurous

Just to shout again.

Single adults can form support bubble with another family.

They can travel from any tier to any tier to do so.

There is no reason why for anyone to have to be alone.

As I said before, I can't be with my 'bubblee' and I don't have anyone else to switch my bubble to.
Elfinghecking · 20/12/2020 18:15

anyone alone can form a support bubble with another person/household. So let your friends know they don;t need to be on their own.
It's should not have to so in extreme circs such as a dying child of COURSE they should see their grand child. tell them . Tell them they can and should unless there's the risk of course that they infect the grandchild and hasten her death.

NamechangedforAIBU · 20/12/2020 18:17

Although you are correct in saying we are not all in the same boat you could say that about every year and everything that happens.... people always have different circumstances... never int he same boat.

You are currently having a rant feeling currently how how awful things are.... last year others might rant for a different reason.... next year others will rant for a different reason. It's just this year lots will rant because lots will find it tough...Some are attempting to be positive and people @bagpuss90 shoot them down for attempting to be positive.

Lots are scared, lots are bored, lots are fed up with lockdowns and some appear to be quite happy being at home, saving money and not sociable so no pressure to do what they hate..... we are all different.

Laughnaff · 20/12/2020 18:17

I wish people would think before they speak. Someone on fb saying all cosied up for The winter. Well maybe for you will your large salary, fully wages for being off in your large house. Or that message stay at home? Some people can’t just stay at home. People have to work, look after vulnerable relatives.

merrymouse · 20/12/2020 18:22

anyone alone can form a support bubble with another person/household. So let your friends know they don;t need to be on their own.

Again, you cannot just force yourself into a random stranger's bubble, and you cannot join a bubble that is already bubbling with a different single household, and many people live 'alone' but in a multiple occupancy house.

Inkpaperstars · 20/12/2020 18:23

@TonTonMacoute

YANBU

Janice Turner wrote in the Times yesterday that there are many people who will be eating their last ever Christmas lunch alone this year.

This is true, sadly, and is not something that should be taken lightly.

Yes, but there will also be many for whom this is the last Christmas precisely because too many are insisting on meeting up, and their deaths are avoidable.
ClarenceBoddicker · 20/12/2020 18:24

I’d definitely say fuck it in order to see a terminally ill grandchild. All of the myriad of changing rules shouldn’t be necessary if people were just conscientious and followed the basic guidance of hygiene and keeping your social contacts to the minimum of what you necessarily would like as a pleasure rather than the ones which are needed.

Grenlei · 20/12/2020 18:24

It upsets me thinking of elderly people being alone over Christmas, especially those with families who either refuse to see them because of perceived risk or because it's against the rules, the latter being more upsetting when it's a misunderstanding of the rules around support bubbles rather than anything actually preventing it. I really don't think any elderly person with family should be alone on Christmas Day.