Tier 4 - not the same for everyone in it

[bagpuss90]

To be a bit fed up with Facebook comments saying “Christmas isn’t cancelled”, “it’s not that bad” , “ “ it’s not the end of the world” and so on. These are coming from people who will be spending Christmas cosied up with the family they live with. I know at least three people who will be forced to spend Christmas on their own - at least one of them suffers mental health problems . It’s not the same - you cannot compare the situations. I also know a couple whose granddaughter is tragically terminally ill. It will be her last Christmas and they can’t see her without breaking the law. I’m sorry it is not the same for everyone - it really isn’t . We are not all in the same boat . Rant over

OP there isn’t a court in the land that would convict grandparents who visited their terminally ill grandchild now. In this situation I would break the law.

Lots of people are spending this Christmas alone not because the rules mean they have to, although they may mean that in some areas, but because they assess the risk of catching the virus or contributing to spreading it to be too high.

This is our scenario. I am bubbled with my mum who lives alone. It's worked well upto now. I've visited fortnightly but have maintained social distancing particularly since my children returned to school.

Although she could come to us as we are tier 4 and in an area where cases have gone from fairly stable to out of control, in only about 2 weeks, it really doesn't feel safe for her to do that.

For the first time my mum will be alone at Christmas. She is fine with it. I am very sad. Our only bright side is that she has already had her first vaccination and by mid January, after her second injection, things will hopefully be safer for her.

I feel very sorry for those people who live alone who will now have to spend Christmas Day alone. We are in Tier 3 so not affected by this but I am still considering cancelling Christmas Dinner.

There will be 7 of us in total. The 4 of us, 1 elderly relative who is part of our household bubble and then my DD and my DB who both live alone who will be the 2 permitted households joining us.

The elderly relative is very vulnerable and one of my DD's is a teacher. I'm having sleepless nights worrying about them being in the same room together.

I can't not invite either of them - and if I did which one would I choose? The elderly relative has been very vocal in telling me how they are very much looking forward to my cooking. And my DD has MH problems and has been struggling recently. In some ways I wish there had been a carpet ban for the whole country, I feel so very responsible ensuring they are safe.
No one else in my family is worried in the slightest - it's just me. They all think I'm being silly

I live alone and am in a bubble. Unfortunately my 'bubblee' is with other family on Christmas Day (live in Tier 2). So although it's been great seeing someone else since June, it feels pretty sad to not have that on Christmas Day. I've spent too much time in my flat working/reading/watching TV so having more of it doesn't feel appealing!

Every example you've given in your OP are allowed to spend xmas day with the people they want. The single people can bubble and they can move between tiers and the end of life family can see them.

@BatshitCrazyWoman

Why cant you go with them on xmas day? If you're a bubble then you're one household so you can go too.

I am so sorry. What makes me so angry is people are STILL coming away on holiday. I live in a seaside town, and the amount of holidaymakers around is astonishing.
Then I read a thread like this and the disparity is enormous.

So angry.

@AlternativePerspective

no of course its not alright to be alone the rest of the year, loneliness is a huge issue particularly for the elderly.

For many families who do not all live locally to each other Christmas is one of the few times a year when people can get a few days to gather.

For me its not even about Christmas Day, in my family, this is is the weekend where we gather and for various reasons we do our own thing on Christmas day/Boxing day.

I haven’t spent actual Christmas with my family for about But we see each other at other times of the year, when we want or need to.

I am not completely alone, I have a 16 year son, who has autism and needs a lot of support. I have worked from home since March, yes I know I am lucky to be able to do so, but the isolation is becoming overwhelming.
We were not even planning to spend a full day with my parents, but to go up next Sunday, stay for two hours and then come home.

Its a small chink of light I’ve been holding on to for weeks. It doesnt matter to me that its the 25 Dec, it could be 28 Jan or 6 Feb, or any other random date. But it was a focus, and now its gone, and its hard.

the whole COVID experience is not the same for everyone. We will have lost around £60k because of covid. I would have rather spent Christmas alone than to have lost our business and income. We couldn't even get Universal Credit, let alone the SEISS grants.

I'm not saying you're wrong to moan, - I am, - but life isn't fair.

I do genuinely wonder what has happened to our society over the last 50 or so years.

My parents lived through WW2. My dad was bombed out of his house as a young teen, no father of his own, his mother lost 2 houses and everything in them. Twice.

They lived with the Germans dropping bombs every night for years not knowing if they would be alive the next morning.

And people are now kicking off about being alone on Xmas day when most of us have phones, Zoom, Whatsapp, Facetime and the rest.

I don't underestimate the emotional toll of Covid, or the issues around unemployment, but where has the backbone gone?

That should say I do understand the emotional toll BUT I also think people need to get a grip and some perspective.

Oh @BlueBottle18, your post brought tears to my eyes. Of all the people who should get to spend Christmas with those they love, you’re definitely one. It really is shit.

that should read not spent actual Christmas with them for 25 years.

And to add, if my family lived locally and we had been able to meet for walks, Christmas wouldnt be such a big issue. As it is I have seen my mum twice since this weekend last year, and the rest of the family not at all.

[quote WhereverIGoddamnLike]@BatshitCrazyWoman

Why cant you go with them on xmas day? If you're a bubble then you're one household so you can go too.[/quote]
Quite complicated, but we were in a relationship for a year when lockdown hit. He's a widower and family know about me but are hostile 😕

As of yesterday evening I will be on my own on Christmas Day. Far too late in the day to find a new ‘bubble’. But, someone had cancelled their Tesco slot for tomorrow so I have sack loads of delicious sounding food arriving. I have wine, gin and vodka so life is looking better than last night.

@BatshitCrazyWoman

Well that sucks. After how horrible this year has been, you'd think they could put their moodiness aside and just let everyone have a christmas together.

I hope they spend the day with her, some things have to be above the law.

Try telling that to a hospice or a hospital ward

For those who keep saying “form a bubble.”

I am currently in tier 1. I live alone with my three year old. I can form a bubble but the person I was in a bubble with is in England. I will be breaking the law to see her, and I cannot drive there and back in a day. I will be spending from today until the 31st of January alone, and as much as a love my daughter, 24/7 with her with no adult company is not appealing. Not everyone can form a bubble, you have to have people who care about you in order to make a bubble and they have to live in the same area as you. This is shit for me, I am in a worse situation in March and I will not be “jollied” out of it or told to “stop moaning.”

@WhereverIGoddamnLike
Why cant you go with them on xmas day? If you're a bubble then you're one household so you can go too.

Not everybody is in a bubble with somebody who has invited them for Christmas Day. I’m in a support bubble with friends but they’re spending Christmas Day with his side of the family at his sibling’s house. I don’t know any of his family and unsurprisingly they haven’t invited me and nor would I expect them to. The situation isn’t always black and white and it’s not always as easy as saying single people can bubble, especially when plans have been changed so close to Christmas. If this announcement had been made weeks ago I could potentially have made plans to change my support bubble but it’s a bit late now 5 days before Christmas.

[quote FightingWithTheWind]@coronaiswatching it isn't just a day though is it. It has been months of restrictions with no end in sight, people were given something to look forward to and get excited about and it was snatched away at very short notice.[/quote]
I think part of the problem is really that the idiot Johnson banged on about Christmas arrangements being a relaxation of the existing tiers for far too long, when he knew damn well about the new variant being more infective and the spike in cases in the southern half of England.

If the change hadn't been so last minute, and people had had more time to adjust to the idea of tough restrictions at Christmas, it would have been easier to bear.

Please does anyone have a recent link to confirm that support bubbles are still ok in tier 2. Dm has said she can’t come as she’d need to stay and that’s not legal with Christmas bubbles. She’s getting confused and I can’t find a recent link.

@Watermelon888 - the government guidance for Christmas refers to the usual support bubbles still being able to exist in all tiers, it is only the Christmas support bubbles which no longer allow for staying overnight. If you or your DM meet the support bubble criteria (Eg: single adult household) and haven’t been part of another support bubble for the last 10 days you can form a support bubble and stay overnight.

www.gov.uk/guidance/guidance-for-the-christmas-period
www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household

Watermelon

www.gov.uk/government/publications/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family/making-a-christmas-bubble-with-friends-and-family

Was updated 19/12
Areas not in Tier 4 If you do not live in a Tier 4 area, you may see a maximum of two other households (your ‘Christmas bubble’) on Christmas Day (25 December). You cannot see anyone from a Tier 4 area.

I work in the NHS in a department with dozens of others similar age to me (mid 20s) who live with housemates as we are in London.
Not a single one will be able to see their family now due to T4.
I am lucky as I still live with my family.
We have worked through the entire lockdown, aren't entitled to the vaccine currently and are surrounded by staff from other departments who don't comply with masks/social distancing (and these are frontliners).
I used to be a strong advocate for lockdown, but after watching my colleagues despair I am not in favour of it anymore.

Looking after terminally ill person is an exempt from rules from what I understand. Lonely people can form support bubbles. And yes, coronavirus never affected people equally. Some people can’t work form home or lost all their income/business while others work from home happily being protected from the virus. And this is just one example.