I’m on CPAP - please help me survive hell

[LittleSpyintheSky]

I’m on CPAP. Everyone is doing their best to keep me alive but I feel traumatised. Family and friends are still asleep. Is anyone there to talk to me?

Thought I’d check in on you op, after you were awake last night. Hoping you’re getting a good night’s sleep tonight.

Hope you've managed to get some kip OP x

How are you doing OP? Hope you've got some sleep

How are you this morning @LittleSpyintheSky ?

I'm supposed to be on CPAP for sleep apnoea but I'm not very good about it, with the mask on I can't read because my glasses don't fit, that also means no TV so I can imagine how hard it is to have the mask on 24 hours a day.

Radio 4 and radio 4 extra often have interesting and funny things on, 4 extra seems to have more on overnight.

Morning mumsnetters. Strange morning for me as I had no idea where I was when I woke up.
First thoughts - why does my mouth taste like the bottom of a bird cage? And the - what’s this thing on my face? What is it doing there? Have I done something wrong? Am I being punished or controlled? Why am I in the middle of a scifi firm.

Then it hits me that I’m very unwell and these people are helping save my life. I feel ashamed as I lost the plot last night, shouting at the nurses and the young doctor that thy aren’t listening to me and they’re neckecting me. All I need is some bloody sleep - PLEASE!

So I got my little pill, which gave me very little relief, and I’m angry and disappointed because there’s a while yet before the lights come up and breakfast starts.

I just woke up having a stress dream so I thought I'd check in. Glad to see no new posts, I hope it means you're asleep.

I remember a friend who was very poorly many moons ago when a new Harry Potter came out. Not certain which one it was but this was 2007 or 2008 and it was one of the biiiig bustard hardbacks. Friend couldn't hold it at all at that point but all anyone wanted to talk about was the new HP so I used to record chapters of ime reading it onto my dictaphone and burn them to CD. I got about two this of the way through the book before he was well enough to hold the book and read it for himself. I was a bit man though, every time Dobby arrived i used to clap my hands loudly right near the microphone. He said he shat himself every time, knowing him, though, he enjoyed that in his own way. He was always one for a practical joke. If his pulse monitor feel off his finger or the machines malfunction in any way causing a nurse to come check on him he used to lie very still until they started checking his vitals then startle them by 'coming back to life'. Such a git.

Well there was a cross post. Sorry to see your update

So my mind runs with the sci-fi angle. I’m John Hurt in the first Alien and I have an alien stuck over my mouth. The real little spy springs out of my tummummy - lean and s

Lean and scarlet and with a worst hair do than I have at the moment. It lays wastevto the room and crawls in the ceiling.
Then I say give yourself a grip girl, give your head a wobble. And my mind is accepting my hell again

Good morning imputtingmyselfonthenaughty step 💐

@imabusybee

Hi OP just wanted to check in and send my best wishes to you for a better night tonight. You're clearly a badass and I'm very jealous of your gig history!! Hope you manage some rest and sleep

You made me laugh with this imabusybee. Badass - I’m a lawyer 😂😂😂

I remember some of the weirrd shit my brain came up with when I was asleep deprived with my first baby. I used to panic hallucinate he was trapped under the covers and all sorts.
Sleep deprivation is real hell and it sounds like yours is taking you down some very odd mental paths tonight.

Who would you like to see/ have seen play a live gig that you haven't?

I’m angry and disappointed because there’s a while yet before the lights come up and breakfast starts.

You are welcome to a virtual breakfast in the 'Happy place'.

Also your waking up post would be a great start to a book.

Morning I'm wide awake kitten woke me at half three and cant get back to sleep. Minds going with everything going on in the world and the things to organise for xmas, got a blocked nose which is keeping me awake and my husband snoring beside me. My dads going in to hospital Tuesday for a triple heart bypass on Wednesday so that's on my mind too.

How are you physically feeling now?

Pink Floyd - the wall

I’d love to see Il Divo and Take That

Oh god, the 13 year old in me would love to see Take That. I was the odd one who ordered Gary to Robbie and I still have a teeny crush on him. He just writes such beautiful songs.

In currently starting a room with my 5 year old and, despite the fact she was awake before I was and was the reason I'm not still thrashing around in a stress dream, I'm getting bitched at for having my phone on.
If I disappear it's because my phone has been co opted for child entertainment duties so she doesn't wake anyone...

Ordered? I mean preferred!

I wish mumsnet would let you edit within 10 minutes

Wide awake here too.
Worrying about the next few days being so hectic but I read this thread and cursed myself

Op I saw meatloaf on his bat out of hell tour at the old Birmingham nec stadium.
He was absolutely amazing but watched him deteriorate badly bless him.

I'm jealous you had tickets for Queen and Adam Lambert as I would absolutely love to see them although crowded concerts are quite a way in the distance right now.

Op sleep deprivation is horrendous so I hope you manage to get a few hours in today at least.

Stay strong.

Pink Floyd - The Wall, what an amazing album that is

I saw them at Wembley Stadium in 1988 - on my 18th birthday 🎉

I recently decorated the living room and had a couple of listens to that album whilst doing it - 10yo DS kept coming in and saying 'mummy what ARE you listening to' 😂

I'd really like to see Muse

Hope you can get some sleep, every hour is one closer back to normal. You've done brilliantly, reading the thread, and it sounds absolutely excruciating so well done and total respect for you love. You are managing this so bloody well.

I miss live music. I remember a funny post someone put up once saying who needs an mp3 just remember the tune in your head and I get comfort from that sometimes although bloody insomniac brains sometimes choose songs we dont want!

I am a similar age and a huge gig goer in my day. But sorry, I hate Meatloaf !

As you can see , I am awake at this time.If I am still awake in half an hour , I will listen to In Our Time on Radio 4.Melvyn Bragg and guests discuss many interesting issues and his voice is very soothing. If you like historical fiction , Radio 4 did have Wolf Hall . Also CJ Sansom .I too also to the mental redecorating .

Take heart though, this is another day you have gotten through and you seem to be improving as opposed to becoming more unwell. One day at a time .

And if it pleases you , you can think that in a little parish church in a lovely village , a candle is burning with you in mind. It is decorated for Christmas with a large Nativity . It is recently been redecorated so is lovely and bright and quite modern . I noticed quite a daring panel of textured wallpaper today . Wondered why.
Normally the children do a play but that obviously is cancelled now. One thing that was prayed for collectively was for all those affected by the difficulties that are facing the world. And I thought of you. Hope you are gaining strength by the hour .

Best gig ..INXS , Madison Square Garden NYC. Sexy as hell !

Oh god. It's singing. Not even real music, but the theme tune to PJ Masks.
I may as well just get up now.
Hope you ended up getting some sleep after all