I can't take this anymore

[anonymous229]

I just don't have the energy for anything. Today has been cold, grey and miserable and there's nowhere to fucking go because everywhere is closed. Yes there's the local park but I've been there about 500 times since March and I'm bored sick of it.

How much longer can they keep us in this fucking awful state? I've had enough, I'm drained, I'm depressed as hell.

We've sacrificed so damn much for a virus that kills about 1% of people who catch it. I know that sounds callous but I'm facing the loss of my job (I'm self employed in events - ha!) and potentially my home because of this. The toll it's taken on my mental health is disastrous, but I feel like me and my family (and other families like us) are just collateral in all of this.

I know people will probably say things like we're lucky to be alive, but I don't feel lucky.

I can't live like this any longer.

But this is very dystopian - isn't it? More and more so.

Shutting down pubs, costa coffee and primark for a few weeks during a pandemic is not dystopia.

Just wondering how people cope in those countries with even stricter lockdowns than ours. Like they had in China and I believe japan too? Also not sure if I imagined it, but didn’t Australia and New Zealand have very strict lockdowns too? And more recently in Australia I think you weren’t even allowed out to exercise or walk the dog? Not 100% sure though. But if I’m right I’m genuinely wondering how they coped?

@jessstan1

wildbarnet: I don't think I will be here next year if we still have to live with restrictions I can't take Much more even though I tried to be positive in previous post ........ Where can you go though, wildbarnet. It's the same nearly all over the world and there are restrictions on travelling abroad to most places anyway. Frankly, you have no choice but to stay put.

Does your area have a local Facebook group, or something similar? People do seem to have a laugh on them and also give each other encouragement. They can also point you in the direction of useful things to do, ways you can help - and be helped.

I know it all seems a bit bleak right now but there is a vaccine in sight and things will improve.

I mean here as in living I can't live like this with restriction for years

Lockdown is not meant to make the virus "magically dissapear". Lockdown is to provide time. Time for the services to cope, to keep covid at a manageable level.

First lockdown was in March. How much time exactly is needed. Even WHO dont think lockdowns are a good.idea other than initially to buy time

Flaxmeadow - I don't go to pubs. I drink coffee at home. Never go to restaurants either.

We do use swimming pools, go dancing to kids clubs and see family and friends though.

We live in a tiny space in a city. We're shut in. There's nowhere now to go. Museums and art galleries and theatres are shut. This is a lockdown. We've been told to stay at home. There's nowhere to go.

A run a day. Round the same park over and over again. Walk the kids down the road to school. Walk with a friend once a week if I'm lucky.

This is not living. Every poster on this thread is saying so. How can you say this is normal?

It is dystopian.

First lockdown was in March.

And it worked. It prevented services from being overwhelmed

How much time exactly is needed.

No one knows

Even WHO dont think lockdowns are a good.idea other than initially to buy time

Buying time prevents services being overwhelmed until we know more about the virus

@Dustballs

Flaxmeadow - I don't go to pubs. I drink coffee at home. Never go to restaurants either.

We do use swimming pools, go dancing to kids clubs and see family and friends though.

We live in a tiny space in a city. We're shut in. There's nowhere now to go. Museums and art galleries and theatres are shut. This is a lockdown. We've been told to stay at home. There's nowhere to go.

A run a day. Round the same park over and over again. Walk the kids down the road to school. Walk with a friend once a week if I'm lucky.

This is not living. Every poster on this thread is saying so. How can you say this is normal?

So you feel no hope that vaccines will start to improve things probably in a few months?

wildbarnet:
I mean here as in living I can't live like this with restriction for years
.............
You won't be living with the current restrictions for years. Hopefully, not for much longer.

@BonnieDundee

Lockdown is not meant to make the virus "magically dissapear". Lockdown is to provide time. Time for the services to cope, to keep covid at a manageable level.

First lockdown was in March. How much time exactly is needed. Even WHO dont think lockdowns are a good.idea other than initially to buy time

A second wave was always predicted. There has been amazing scientific progress and already it looks like there will be at least two highly efficacious vaccines, and probably more. Unfortunately, despite being developed in record times, they were not here in time to prevent the second wave from requiring strict mitigation. However I am very optimistic that within a few months they will start to have an effect. So it looks like time has been bought.

@Flaxmeadow

Did you apply for the govt spokesperson job? You’d be very good.

OP- I take my hat off to all new mums who are Doing It in the midst of all this bullshit.
I don’t have any sage advice for you- except to say that the first winter with a baby isn’t easy anyway- it does get better as they start to walk, need less feeds etc. and you can sling them in a puddlesuit and all weathers are a bit more manageable.

I take it that (like me) you don’t drive - cause I HEAR you about the park.

Honestly? I think make life as bearable for you as you can.
What makes you happy? Or if not happy -
Distracted? Hours of Netflix? Do it. Reading? Buy all the books. Eating kilo bars of Dairy Milk and taking 3 hour baths? If you can manage it with the baby- 100% do it.

And if your GP is shit, ask for a new one. Absolutely reach out for help. But TBH you sound less like you have a post natal MH issue and more like you’re just feeling a very normal set of feelings about your world being narrowed to one park, four streets, and 2 humans indefinitely.

That’s not to say don’t seek treatment- it’s just to say- I think you’re doing as well as can be expected in the circs and try not to overanalyse your feelings rn.

@Dustballs

Yes it's all terribly inconvenient but what is the alternative? What do you suggest? Open everywhere back up again. What would happen then.

@Flaxmeadow
Did you apply for the govt spokesperson job? You’d be very good

Which Government?

There is no difference, or not much, to what any government is saying, advising or restricting. The strategies are more or less the same across the world. Or do you think they're all wrong and you know better?

[quote Flaxmeadow]**@Flaxmeadow
Did you apply for the govt spokesperson job? You’d be very good

Which Government?

There is no difference, or not much, to what any government is saying, advising or restricting. The strategies are more or less the same across the world. Or do you think they're all wrong and you know better?[/quote]
A lot of people seem to feel they know better.

Op sorry you are struggling. I believe you can self refer for Mental Health Services so no need to bother GP. Well you can in our area. Not sure if nationwide.
Well on the face of it we fit the bit in the middle of this
The people that don’t mind lockdown are the ones who have a stable income and a nice warm house. They ignore the people that have lost their jobs or on a tiny income due to furlough. They ignore the people in flats that are losing their minds. They ignore the people that live alone.
Dh has a stable job and we have a warm house and garden. Yet yesterday I couldn't stop crying.
Sorry the day before yesterday. You see on the face of it we are privileged to be only minority financially affected by COVID. Self employed with bugger all Govt support.
The lockdown is March was stressful even though initially it felt like a release as we were in the process of dealing with a school avoiding highly anxious child whilst receiving no support and being threatened with fines. .I wasn't working but trying to get 2 dds who probably both have autistic traits ( one diagnosed) to engage was neigh on impossible. All this on top of trying to shield a vulnerable dh.
I have also been supporting friends who live on their own.
I don't see the point of everyone sniping at each other. Yes it is one storm but the boats are different.
We all have our own challenges and those who seem on the face of it unscathed probably are still struggling one way or another.
Eg those lucky keyeorkers who have secure jobs may be facing ptsd from what they witnessed at the peak.
Others may be lucky to be healthy but are facing financial ruin.
Others may be dealing with poor health and SEN issues and may be fed up of being blamed for the COVID response.
Be kind.

@Flaxmeadow

I did that questionnaire and I scored 27. I got to the question of feeling like I'm failure and would be better off not around and I ticked, everyday. I just realised that if I wasnt around, no one would really notice

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It's hard yes and it must feel like no one knows what you're going through. Especially in these days as we approach winter. That you're here and reaching out is a good thing. It's a step. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

No no one. No one at all. My husband pretends he cares. He ignored me a lot. He doesn't make eye contact with me and is on his phone always. I shout for his attention. Whilst I was sick he didnt help in fact asked me to cook, take his dad to the bank. I would be grateful if i never woke up. My mental health deteriorated over the years. That doesnt help. He's slapped me about a few times. I wish I didn't wake up again. Hes called me a financial drain, a burden, jealous, evil negative all sorts. Maybe I am. ...maybe I shouldn't wake up. I wish. So many people who want to live lose life. I'll wake up with the same sick feeling. 9ve no where to turn.

Yes it’s shit. Just seen another thread with another teacher moaning they are not protected and schools should close and I just roll my eyes. If schools closed too and home schooling began again I would not know what to do. There is so much over angsting about this virus which has a relatively low mortality rate amongst a section of the population. I think we will look back at this with a massive over reaction hat on. What people are losing over this is immense.

Ah see, whilst I think it's utterly shite in my situation (stuck home with young kids), I also think it's shite for teachers with being stuck in the firing line. I 100% expect them to be moaning - I know the virus MAINLY impacts the old and vulnerable, but there are still too many stories of healthy young people getting it for me to be totally relaxed about it. And I wouldn't want to be as exposed as teachers are and then risking passing it to older relatives. Even if they aren't bothered about it for themselves, presumably they're not so selfish that they don't give a crap about passing it on to others.

This is what really kills me. I fucking hate my situation. But I cannot just break the rules and go about "as normal" for the sake of my mental health, as the thought of seeing family for the sake of my sanity, and inadvertently passing on covid to them is equally horrific a thought as just carrying on in my misery pit alone.

There is no good solution.

Teachers, medical staff, supermarket staff, stay at home parents - everyone can complain all they like in my opinion. I hate the whole God damn shebang, for EVERYONE.

I had a baby in April and live in Greater Manchester, I've also got a toddler. I feel like collateral too. We've been allowed no support all year, only allowed visitors in the house or garden for four weeks. My two year old doesn't go to nursery and has played with another toddler a total of four times since March because my Dad's vulnerable and we only risked it when the numbers were low. God knows what effect that'll have on her now.

My husband is a foreign national, it's over a year since he saw any of his family. We have tentative plans for his mum to finally meet her new grandchild in May who knows if that'll actually happen.

It's shit.

“Shutting down pubs, costa coffee and primark for a few weeks during a pandemic is not dystopia.”

Minimising what lockdown means to people who are losing their jobs, their homes and their sanity by pretending we are a bit upset we can’t go to Costa

The lack of empathy is astounding

@BonnieDundee

Lockdown is not meant to make the virus "magically dissapear". Lockdown is to provide time. Time for the services to cope, to keep covid at a manageable level.

First lockdown was in March. How much time exactly is needed. Even WHO dont think lockdowns are a good.idea other than initially to buy time

Exactly.

I wonder what people think they are protecting exactly. The majority of hospitals wards and clinics are deserted. The acute wards no busier than normal in winter. It was the same in March/April. There was a thread on it on here at the time with NHS staff being honest about having nothing to do. It got removed of course.

The protect the NHS mantra drives me insane as someone who works for the NHS and is not able to treat patients.

@ArcheryAnnie

about something that barely effects anyone under 80

mangomemory I'm in my fifties, I had covid in March, and eight months on am in constant, constant pain. Thousands and thousands of other Long Covid sufferers can say the same. The vast majority are middle-aged, not old, but the number does include children and teens, too.

Goodness knows I am sympathetic to people who are finding the current restrictions crushing, but if you think the virus just affects people over 80 (and there's no "just" about it - people over 80 are worthy of protection, too) then I am here to tell you how mistaken you are. I just hope you don't find out the hard way. I would not wish this level of extended, endless physical pain on anyone.

I didn't say "just" I am well aware of the data and who it "mainly" effects.

Children and young people rarely if ever suffer ill effects. That's world wide. More at risk of flu.

I had bad flu three years ago and it took me a long time to get back to full fitness. My son had a respiratory illness when he was 6 months old and was in ICU on CPAP. I don't, as a result, expect the UK to shut down each winter and have people forgo essential medical treatment.

I'm more concerned about the spiralling suicide rate in the young people who should be accessing mental health services in my NHS trust, the lack of treatment for my friend who had a treatable cancer 6 months ago and is now bedridden at home and looking in dire straights, for my bf who should have had a heart op in May and was told 6 months max postponement and still has not been seen, my dad who has multiple health conditions exacerbated by the weight he had put on. And finally the point of the post for people like OP who are suffering for no good reason now.

@mangomemory You speak sense, it's refreshing to hear.

There was a thread on it on here at the time with NHS staff being honest about having nothing to do. It got removed of course.

I have heard this sort of thing anecdotally too. Which for me makes the situation even more frustrating.

Yes it’s shit. Just seen another thread with another teacher moaning they are not protected and schools should close and I just roll my eyes.

Teachers just wanted to avoid the shitshow which is random closures. I don't believe they want school closures anymore than us parents want them. They have had workloads increased having to provide online learning even if not required every week. Additional duties such as cleaning and gate duties. Loss of staffroom all in a very hostile environment if Mums net and the Daily Fail
reflect real live.
They and other kywotkers are risking their health for others because death isn't the only bad outcome.

@Spotify82 it sounds like your husband is physically and emotionally abusing you. You need to leave. Easier said than done I know but you need to get out.
Please post on the relationship boards as you will get hood advice and support on there.