I can't take this anymore

[anonymous229]

I just don't have the energy for anything. Today has been cold, grey and miserable and there's nowhere to fucking go because everywhere is closed. Yes there's the local park but I've been there about 500 times since March and I'm bored sick of it.

How much longer can they keep us in this fucking awful state? I've had enough, I'm drained, I'm depressed as hell.

We've sacrificed so damn much for a virus that kills about 1% of people who catch it. I know that sounds callous but I'm facing the loss of my job (I'm self employed in events - ha!) and potentially my home because of this. The toll it's taken on my mental health is disastrous, but I feel like me and my family (and other families like us) are just collateral in all of this.

I know people will probably say things like we're lucky to be alive, but I don't feel lucky.

I can't live like this any longer.

My kids are older though. If they were babies or smaller I'd be going nuts.

I completely agree. And I’m an outdoorsy person with slightly older kids and haven’t lost my job

It’s utterly shit and I do think we should have shielded people in the summer whilst those who could got on with it. Later studies have shown there is longer T cell immunity

I feel we have thrown a generation under a bus

Oh look, it's MN's most ironically named poster, getoffyourhighhorse, come to tell people on yet another thread that they must not just follow all coronavirus restrictions but that they must love them and enthusiastically support them without a word of complaint

'What crap. Most people who get it are perfectly fine. A high percentage are asymptomatic.'

So what? A lot of people also need respiratory support. I dont want any of my family on a respiratory ward just because some people want to meet pals at Costa. Get a grip. Or speak to a GP if you need some support.

I agree OP.

I also had a baby in summer, a traumatic birth with PTSD and flashbacks and have suffered isolation with lockdown. My DP is out 12 hours a day and it's just me and DC, who I absolutely adore, but it is hard without seeing another soul or having anywhere to go. Solidarity.

Also went to town to get food bits and tried to sit on a bench to feed my son and was told I wasn't allowed to sit down!! There wasn't another soul nearby. I had to feed him standing up. It's soul destroying.

I have nothing to suggest to help you but you're not alone

I agree OP

God, @bluebearss. That’s horrible. I probably would have just sat down anyway.

I really feel for those of you who have had babies this year. 😔

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'What crap. Most people who get it are perfectly fine. A high percentage are asymptomatic.'

So what? A lot of people also need respiratory support. I dont want any of my family on a respiratory ward just because some people want to meet pals at Costa. Get a grip. Or speak to a GP if you need some support.

Why would I need to speak to a GP? I’m a nurse. In a hospital, working hard and coping fine. I simply have the ability to see more than just Covid damage, and to put Covid into perspective. It’s not Ebola.

I hear you. Today has been miserable. I’m so fed up. My dd is having to isolate too so can’t even go out for a walk. So fed up with this. Sick of this boring routine and sick of being at home all the time.

about something that barely effects anyone under 80

mangomemory I'm in my fifties, I had covid in March, and eight months on am in constant, constant pain. Thousands and thousands of other Long Covid sufferers can say the same. The vast majority are middle-aged, not old, but the number does include children and teens, too.

Goodness knows I am sympathetic to people who are finding the current restrictions crushing, but if you think the virus just affects people over 80 (and there's no "just" about it - people over 80 are worthy of protection, too) then I am here to tell you how mistaken you are. I just hope you don't find out the hard way. I would not wish this level of extended, endless physical pain on anyone.

Why shouldn’t we moan about the things we love doing being shut? Those things are a big part of my life and what keep me motivated.

And this dramatical “respiratory ward” nonsense because someone went for a costa is just that. Nonsense.

I feel ya, I feel like my soul has been completely crushed. It’s all so bleak. Nonsensical rules, people loving it, snitching on each other, the isolation, so much guilt and manipulation, not much to do, the same 4 walls, money worries, relationships strained. I’m just shuffling through one day at a time, that’s all we can do.

I'm just sipping a mug of chocolate in front of the telly. Sheer bliss!

^

You could be that person who reminds the op /other readers that they soon may not even have a telly to watch if they lose their jobs.

See, this virus will have financial, health and socio-economic repurcussions for YEARS to come - it's not just a case of snuggling and getting cosy.

I work(ed) in events too and I am with you op on all your comments. What I hate most are the “I am lucky I can work from home, I still have a job, but I feel for you” blah blah fucking blah! They have absolutely no idea. I have tried the supermarkets, post office and the wonderful NHS and have had interviews but have been told am over qualified and they know I’ll be off as soon as events reopen so they would rather train someone else.
And as for cosying up with a hot chocolate .... without a roof that is going to be fucking impossible.

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'What crap. Most people who get it are perfectly fine. A high percentage are asymptomatic.'

So what? A lot of people also need respiratory support. I dont want any of my family on a respiratory ward just because some people want to meet pals at Costa. Get a grip. Or speak to a GP if you need some support.

But I don’t want any of my family losing their homes or in a deep dark depression resulting in suicide because you think we should be locked down for the majority of a year.

Who should take priority?

I feel the same, the only think helping is that it is temporary and should pass. We need hope. I think of two things- the vaccine and the spring. It may not be you need to change your career OP it may be different then

maybe just think of getting through week by week for now

@Hardbackwriter

Oh look, it's MN's most ironically named poster, getoffyourhighhorse, come to tell people on yet another thread that they must not just follow all coronavirus restrictions but that they must love them and enthusiastically support them without a word of complaint

You said what I was just thinking, @Hardbackwriter

What @etopp said, @Hardbackwriter

Hello OP. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. You've been through so much alone. I feel like that too. Everyone has people around them in the home I mean. I don't have any children and my husband works long hours.i see him maybe 2 3 hours a day. Rest of the time I'm alone. I get depressed and I've not been well either. But to make myself feel better I spend some time excercising, it hurts physically but I try to upper body so my lower body is not affected. I watch programmes on netflix and I'm trying to learn new skills. At the end of it all I always remind myself...everyone is in the same boat and this too shall pass.

In fact when I'm returning to work after a long holiday...I feel anxious I always tell myself...imagine how the kids feel who have to come back k, or the teachers leaving their own babies and coming to school. It's ok everyone will be feeling the same and for me it works.

But you can rant. Rant all you like if it helps. I would give you my number and you could rant because I want someone to rant to but I have no one who really cares.

We care. I hope you can feel positive. I hope you feel better.

Thanks @BrutusMcDogface. I did try to fight my case and explained I just needed to quickly feed my hungry DC, but she said 'can't he wait until you get home?' (!!!!) and then started barricading the seating area with some bollards. It really was unbelievable.

a virus that kills about 1% of people who catch it

But left unchecked that would have wiped out over 1.5 million people in the UK...

I get that it's frustrating. Try to find tiny ways to improve your days - YouTube channels of your favourite hobbies, order some baking supplies, make plans for next summer, walk in the opposite direction of the park, listen to different types of music on spotify. I'm sure things will perk up once we're into Feb/March.

My teenage (just last month 14) year old got threatened by police with a fine today and ‘dispersed’ because he had met a friend then whilst out they met a third friend (coincidentally) and stopped to chat. Never mind that they are all together in their grammar school bubble for most of the week. He’s really shaken up by it. He is a quiet kid, who just went for a walk. Is this what society has come to. It’s fucking insane and I’m beginning to wonder where it will end...

P.s totally off topic but i would love to have a baby. You all mention how you've had a baby...or most of you. I'm 38 have endo fibroids and have been trying for 2.5 years. Just want a baby.
Also I live in a 1 bedroom flat with no garden. Its noisey and just horrid. But I'm not complaining I have a roof over my head. I'm just ranting. Sorry I'm taking over your thread OP.

I wish I could help you.

I’m fed up if it all too but what I’m mostly fed up of is people saying

‘So you want people to die?’

When I voice my very valid and real feelings in a thoroughly shite time especially when I’m an unpaid carer and have seen friends a total of 5 separate visits since March and lost all respite this year.

My kid already had anxiety and now has a serious case of depression with previous suicidal ideation that I’m already hiding belts and all drugs locked in the safe and sharps tucked away because I do not want to go through that again especially now and truly alone.

Of course I don’t want anyone today fucking die but I’m not willing to let my kid die because of this. Much needed psychotherapy that should’ve started in March has been pushed back and back.

My much needed freedom has been pushed back over again. 2nd driving test cancelled. It’s a tiny thing but being able to drive to the supermarket than fret trying to get a much needed delivery (kid gets DLA, I’m at risk) because every fucker who can go in isn’t and I’m struggling.

I’ve been a caged bird for a decade as an unpaid carer this is just an added level of torture that’s left me listless and restless. Insomnia is a level I haven’t experienced.

And I’m really fed up if people saying go to the GP for support. Medication will just numb my feelings, not good, therapy will be in a long waiting list so not really any fucking good especially when the ‘cure’ for this is much needed respite.

The only shining light is DLA and carers allowance but hey, that renewal form just came in and trying to get evidence when everyone is avoiding you because of the plague and the fear it won’t be renewed because there is no new evidence because of the extensive lockdowns and no appointments with specialist...

I’m just done with this.

This is a society wide trauma I don’t think any of us have grasped the ramifications of nor will we ‘fix’ it’s effects within this generation.

@GatoradeMeBitch The biggest and most up to date study on mortality (covering 60% of all cases worldwide) has concluded (in a peer reviewed journal) that Covid-19 has a mortality rate of 0.15-0.2% among people who develop symptoms.