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Original poster

Are you allowing teenage DC into friends houses?

181 replies

Serendipity09 · 14/11/2020 11:28

I'm not. A walk outside, yes.
DD's friend and her parents aren't happy that we won't let DD go round for the afternoon. DD understands, and doesn't want to anyway.
They're not at same school so aren't 'mixing anyway'.
I shouldn't be feeling bad about this, right?

OP posts:
TicTacTwo · 14/11/2020 13:17

My kids have been good at following the rules but yesterday 17yo dd came back and admitted that she went into her friend's house to meet her cat. Her mum (who is a doctor) was there and even suggested that she stay over as it was Friday.

The only people who've been in my house since March are tradespeople fixing things. We are able bodied do more than able to meet people outdoors

Northernsoullover · 14/11/2020 13:27

Jesus fucking christ. I work in an area to do with data and tracing of covid cases. I watch it spread in real time. Its not the bus or the train or the shops (or at least its a small percentage) its person to person indoors . All of you who have decided its worth the risk it really fucking isn't.
You aren't special, your children aren't special either. Get a grip.

Duggeehugs82 · 14/11/2020 13:33

This is a thing that is super annoying and get me angry, why do people who r not following rules think they r more special than me and my family. I have and am following the rules.My parents had my brother round for dinner last sunday, i planned a zoom quiz whichi cancelled, its so fustrating that im seen as the goody two shoes and they.will be first to moan of lockdown lasts longer than the month.

MarshaBradyo · 14/11/2020 13:36

No

Hoppinggreen · 14/11/2020 13:37

I am not exempt from the rules I am breaking one
I fully acknowledge that. We have decided that we will be allowing this and if there are consequences then it’s on us.
I don’t think I am special at all but I would be interested in knowing what is so dangerous in allowing 1 person (who’s family isn’t mixing with anyone else) to visit another person (who’s family isn’t mixing with anyone else) when those 2 people spend all day together Monday to Friday

midnightstar66 · 14/11/2020 13:37

We aren't in England so nowhere near as strict restrictions but dd has stuck to gong out with her friends around the park and on her friends patio under their outdoor heater. No one goes in anyone else's homes!

SpaceOP · 14/11/2020 13:40

Our primary school included a note this week that it's very upsetting for teachers and other children when some children come in talking about parties and events they've been to. Which I completely understand.

Wowbetidethetide · 14/11/2020 13:41

But if the residents of the household are not vulnerable, then I don't see the issue.

I don't think it's about vulnerability per se; it's about spread.

For all of these rules people have the tendency to think "well if just I or my teen do this one thing and we are an isolated case , then that's ok because it won't affect things much" but then you get a 100 or a 1000 people with the same rationale doing the same thing and it all goes tits up for everyone.

x2boys · 14/11/2020 13:41

No, my son is on his second two week period of self isolation since September ,I'm so worried about his education.

Miseryl · 14/11/2020 13:42

No, he's allowed to meet one friend outside, as per the rules. As it is, none of his friends have been out since lockdown anyway.

MrsBrunch · 14/11/2020 13:43

'I am not exempt from the rules I am breaking one
I fully acknowledge that. We have decided that we will be allowing this and if there are consequences then it’s on us.'

But it's not on you is it? People are having medical treatment postponed and are suffering. You are not suffering. Do you really not care?

Hoppinggreen · 14/11/2020 13:47

Again, explain to me exactly how allowing the BF to come here puts anyone else at risk
And you have no idea if we as a family are suffering or not or whether I care

Duggeehugs82 · 14/11/2020 13:48

My issue with people breaking the rules is they r relying on the people not to break the rules to get us through this the selfish part. If we all just ignored the rules what a mess we would be in. So the people breaking the rules needs other people to follow them. Thats what makes me mad, why should i do it if u r not.

MushMonster · 14/11/2020 13:50

It is a no here too.
They can go to the park keeping a distance, only with children in the same year and school.
Any other is a no.

MrsBrunch · 14/11/2020 13:52

@Hoppinggreen

Again, explain to me exactly how allowing the BF to come here puts anyone else at risk And you have no idea if we as a family are suffering or not or whether I care
If you are not isolating you are mixing with other people in some form. You could spread it. You know this though.

I know I don't know whether you care, that's why I asked. Do you?

andannabegins · 14/11/2020 13:56

My dd year group (yr11) are all self isolating and the number of teens putting on their snap chats about meeting up etc is ridiculous. My DD has not left the house and won't until Monday when she is allowed. It's hard to make people comply when all the shops are open though. You can't see your friends but I can go wander around the range!?

Hoppinggreen · 14/11/2020 13:57

How can I spread it? We have been on local lockdown for ages, I haven’t mixed with anyone outside my household for around 6 months apart from this 1 person who DD spends most of her day with .

ImMoana · 14/11/2020 14:08

@SpaceOP

Our primary school included a note this week that it's very upsetting for teachers and other children when some children come in talking about parties and events they've been to. Which I completely understand.
Our school would make a phone call home and speak to the parents to clarify what the ‘party’ was. They would ask directly who was present and where/when it was.
PhilCornwall1 · 14/11/2020 14:10

If he wants to he can.

Vargas · 14/11/2020 14:21

The whole point of lockdown is to decrease contact between people, particularly indoors and in large groups.

If a person is breaking one rule, that doesn’t necessarily mean they think they’re special or that they’re breaking any other rules. 99% compliance is still effective. And I’ll bet if we put a video camera on some of the holier than thou types on this thread we would find some rule breaking.

And for those who ‘haven’t had anyone round since March’ that doesn’t make you morally superior, it makes you antisocial (unless you’re vulnerable of course).

PhilCornwall1 · 14/11/2020 14:24

And for those who ‘haven’t had anyone round since March’ that doesn’t make you morally superior, it makes you antisocial (unless you’re vulnerable of course).

Probably trying to win the "competitive misery" competition.

GooseberryTart · 14/11/2020 14:25

15 and 16 year olds here its too cold to spend much time outside and both haven’t gone out or asked to meet up with friends. Both their friends are pretty sensible. But like others have said other kids have posted and boasted on SM about them having sleepovers etc.
DS has done some homework and I can hear him on the X Box DD has a mountain of revision to do for mocks (heard her laughing with friends on ipad before). I have lots of nice snacks in and I will make them both a hot chocolate and give them a piece of cake shortly.

Hoppinggreen · 14/11/2020 14:29

PhilCornwall or subject to local lockdown

Wowbetidethetide · 14/11/2020 14:30

I don’t think I am special at all but I would be interested in knowing what is so dangerous in allowing 1 person (who’s family isn’t mixing with anyone else) to visit another person (who’s family isn’t mixing with anyone else) when those 2 people spend all day together Monday to Friday

Does no one in either of these households visit a supermarket, a chemist, a petrol station, a post office or a place of work, or use a bus or train to travel to work? Do the teens at school stay in the same class and have the same lessons all day, or do they (like most teens) have different options in different groupings? Presumably boys and girls use different lavatories? Do they occasionally interact with different adults in the school (secretary, librarian, dinner ladies) ?? Who do they mix with at break and lunch times other than themselves? The risk of transmission is increased by having an extra person in your home, as is the risk of transmission in the other direction, tracking the virus back in to school and from there in to other homes. Many of these transmissions can be undetectable (asymptomatic). It's not that difficult to understand.

Hoppinggreen · 14/11/2020 14:38

Supermarket -no
Chemist -no
Post office -no
Place of work -no
Bus or train - no
Whole school year is 1 bubble so mix with same adults

I understand perfectly well, I just don’t think what we are doing poses a risk