Are you allowing teenage DC into friends houses?

[Serendipity09]

I'm not. A walk outside, yes.
DD's friend and her parents aren't happy that we won't let DD go round for the afternoon. DD understands, and doesn't want to anyway.
They're not at same school so aren't 'mixing anyway'.
I shouldn't be feeling bad about this, right?

[ineedaholidaynow]

This virus is a contrary thing and you can have one family member with a positive result but none of the other family members in the same house don't get it. Some people don't seem to spread it. However, others do spread it. So your teen might be someone who doesn't spread the virus, but your teen's friend might be a super spreader, so if your teen wasn't bringing anyone home, no risk of bringing it back home. Bring the super spreader to visit, that could be the whole family down with it

[NotAKaren]

This crisis is hard for everyone not just teenagers. There are people who have lost jobs, people who have lost loved ones and people who have not seen close family for almost a year. The idea that all teenagers are particularly suffering more than most due to lack of sleepovers and need some special dispensation is frankly ridiculous and actually does teens a disservice because most are perfectly capable of abiding by the rules and understanding why. Teenagers will get their social lives back but they will not get their education back. Why should my DC be at risk of further isolations because some teens are deemed too precious to think of others and simply must see their BFFs for a sleepover. What sort of lessons are we teaching our young people about responsibility.

[TimeForRecovery]

I generally believe that lockdowns do more harm than good and this was proven by the summer lockdown: increased suicide rates, increased criminal behaviour, untreated other medical conditions, lower immune system due to decreased opportunities for socialising and exercise (loneliness is worse than smoking), insane levels of anxiety in certain industries. Lockdowns break businesses, families and community networks, essential to our survival. So based on that, no, I'm not policing my teenagers. One of them is healthy and follows the rules, the other one is suicidal and mostly follows the rules. It's their choice, I would support them either way. But they are the ones who suffer the most in our society and we shouldn't blindly follow the rules without having as much as an open debate about the approach imposed by the government.

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'generally believe that lockdowns do more harm than good and this was proven by the summer lockdown: increased suicide rates'

It isn't about lockdown 'doing good', it's about keeping a lid on the spread so hospitals can cope with the surge. You know, so that say if you have an RTA you get an ICU bed. Can you link to these increased suicide rates, because last week on the news it said there wasn't an increase.

'I'm not policing my teenagers'. Parenting. It's called parenting.

People who cba to follow the restrictions either themselves or their hapless kids are what is exacerbating this shit situation. Well done Time!

[HakeCod]

The figures have not been published yet regarding suicides and won’t be tu tío next year @GetOffYourHighHorse. So it’s far too early to say that suicides haven’t increased.

We do know than London ambulance service alone has experienced a doubling in suicide-related callouts.

[NotAKaren]

When people say that teenagers are suffering the most in this crisis do you mean socially? Agree100 percent that their education, particularly those in exam years and university students have had a really rubbish time and yes it's sad that they've missed out out things like proms. However, we have all missed out on special events, seeing family and friends it's sh** for everybody.

[NotAKaren]

Missed out on

[Frestba]

No mine is not, even with ones she's at school with. Morally wrong but also there are huge fines now. If everyone complies it might come to an end.

[Sedona123]

@ineedaholidaynow

This virus is a contrary thing and you can have one family member with a positive result but none of the other family members in the same house don't get it. Some people don't seem to spread it. However, others do spread it. So your teen might be someone who doesn't spread the virus, but your teen's friend might be a super spreader, so if your teen wasn't bringing anyone home, no risk of bringing it back home. Bring the super spreader to visit, that could be the whole family down with it

This. Anyone mixing households really needs to pay attention to this.

There are plenty of examples of households where some have caught covid, and some haven't. Don't just assume that because your dc(s) haven't obviously caught covid from their friends, that you won't get horribly sick from having their friends in your home.

[likely]

There is a virus but it's unfortunately the elderly and vulnerable that suffer most.

Listen to:

[likely]

@TimeForRecovery

I generally believe that lockdowns do more harm than good and this was proven by the summer lockdown: increased suicide rates, increased criminal behaviour, untreated other medical conditions, lower immune system due to decreased opportunities for socialising and exercise (loneliness is worse than smoking), insane levels of anxiety in certain industries. Lockdowns break businesses, families and community networks, essential to our survival. So based on that, no, I'm not policing my teenagers. One of them is healthy and follows the rules, the other one is suicidal and mostly follows the rules. It's their choice, I would support them either way. But they are the ones who suffer the most in our society and we shouldn't blindly follow the rules without having as much as an open debate about the approach imposed by the government.

I agree!

[Horsemad]

Interesting thread.

Have just been consoling a friend whose 20yr old DD has 'found love' during this lockdown and actually stayed over at the new bf's house last week!! 😲

Friend is risk averse and compliant and is utterly horrified at her DD's behaviour. She has asked her not to do that again but the DD is still going out & seeing the bf and I can't imagine there's a lot of social distancing going on as she's got lovebites on her neck...

Some people just don't get it, do they? 🤔

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'Friend is risk averse and compliant and is utterly horrified at her DD's behaviour. She has asked her not to do that again but the DD is still going out & seeing the bf'

It's awful isn't it. The media have done a brilliant job in brainwashing some people into thinking its all the Government's fault and restrictions are curtailment of civil liberties so can be ignored.

[MonaCorona]

I am allowing the teenage DC's friends to come round here. Thanks to lockdown and Covid, I no longer have a job, and have no income. That bothers me more than the possibility of a teenager passing Covid on to me. There's no chance of me passing it on to anyone else as I no longer go to work.

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'am allowing the teenage DC's friends to come round here. Thanks to lockdown and Covid, I no longer have a job, and have no income. That bothers me more than the possibility of a teenager passing Covid on to me.'

Sorry you've lost your job but that is no excuse to do as you like. Your kids friends shouldn't be coming round 🙄.

[Jaxhog]

YANBU Op.

I also don't understand why some people think the rules don't apply to them. This will only get us locked down for longer.

[Jaxhog]

'am allowing the teenage DC's friends to come round here. Thanks to lockdown and Covid, I no longer have a job, and have no income. That bothers me more than the possibility of a teenager passing Covid on to me.'

I'm also very sorry you lost your job. But your teen's friend could pass it on to a vulnerable adult who could die. Do you really not understand this?

[MonaCorona]

I do understand that, Jaxhog (I shouldn't have to say that). However, I also understand that one of the my teenagers' friends might be knocked off their bike on their way here. They might step out in front of a car. They might call in at Tesco Metro on their way here, pick up a dose of seasonal flu, and pass it on to an elderly relative or a vulnerable younger person who might or might not die of it. They might get hit by falling masonry (unlikely but not impossible).

Life is full of 'what if's. People seem to have forgotten that we are all vulnerable, and none of us is immortal. Covid is another thing that presents a risk. However, it's no more than 'another thing'. It should never have been given the almighty status that it has come to assume.

Given that I am the only one in my own household who is vulnerable, and given that I'm not that bothered whether I die now that more or less the only meaningful thing I have left is my teenagers (who are more likely to die in a road accident or as a result of some unthinkable accident than they are of Covid), I would stand by my thought-through decision to allow my teenagers' friends to come here to socialise. They are also socialising with me when they're here, which is more cheering than anything else that's happening at the moment.

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'Life is full of 'what if's. People seem to have forgotten that we are all vulnerable, and none of us is immortal. Covid is another thing that presents a risk. '

Oh fgs stop minimising your irresponsible and selfish behaviour. It isnt about the 'what ifs', it is about the fact people can be superspreaders so even if you couldn't care less about yourself our hospitals and icus are full, because people like you and your self centred kids just refuse to follow the most basic of restrictions.

[MonaCorona]

I suggest, GetOffYourHighHorse, that you do precisely that.

There are more holes in your argument than the proverbial Swiss cheese.

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'There are more holes in your argument than the proverbial Swiss cheese.'

You're been selfish and irresponsible. Fine, your choice just admit it. Say you couldn't give a rat's ass about soaring infecion rates, full hospitals etc etc as long as your kids can have their pals round.

Meanwhile the rest of us are allowed to be exasperated at people like you who aren't helping this very shit situation.

[MonaCorona]

I just don't think you're right, GetOff. If I were saying they could invite 20 friends and friends of friends over for a house party which would involve them all being in close physical contact, then yes, that would be irresponsible and stupid.

But given that these are close friends they're sitting with at school, sitting next to on the bus, walking home with, etc, then I have to disagree with you. The DC are also pretty self-regulating. They don't have friends over who have vulnerable family members, and don't go to the houses of these same friends - even though they socialise at close quarters with these same friends at school.

I also feel that many of those who have been championing lockdowns have been very, very selfish as they have largely been people who have either been furloughed, or can WFH, or who can claim government support or other benefits. The attitude is very much "I'm happy to do this because it doesn't affect me it's the 'right thing to do'" (this is obviously not the case for all people who are in favour of lockdowns - but I don't know a single person who has earned and qualified for absolutely nothing at all since March who is in favour of any of these measures).

The lack of support is why so many people are going out to work despite testing positive or being told to isolate because they have been in contact with CV. That's more of a problem than teenagers in a school bubble sitting together in the kitchen.

[GetOffYourHighHorse]

'But given that these are close friends they're sitting with at school, sitting next to on the bus, walking home with, etc, then I have to disagree with you'

This virus doesn't follow your 'they sit together on the bus so it's ok to ignore instructions' rationale. For example, if an infected but asymptomatic person sits next to someone on a bus and they don't get it does not mean that they don't then infect people in another households.

Do you think you know better than scientists on how to reduce the risk of spread or again, do you just not care? I wouldn't care either if it was just yourself and your family you were putting at risk but sadly as we know this involves everyone, not just slack parents.

People who are flouting restrictions who are adding to this problem. I have teens, I know how hard it can be to parent but in a pandemic where hospitals are full and vulnerable people may not get critical care then no, they aren't having their pals round.

[Hoppinggreen]

I think the thing I and some other people struggle with is the idea that Covid stops and starts at the school gate - so it’s ok to spend all day together but then not walk back to your friends house and stay for tea.
I am not trying to justify the fact that DD has her BF here regularly, I know we shouldn’t be doing it according to the rules but it’s the fact that there seems to be some magic that stops them catching Covid from eachother at school that stops the instant they step outside that makes it ridiculous

[Kjc39]

For those who really believe that their teenagers are meeting boyfriends/girlfriends for walks only you are very likely deluded. Do you seriously believe they won’t do more than that?? I know teens/20 year olds still meeting boyfriends for sex in the woods. Better they do it at home then like that , in my opinion.