AIBU to say enough now?

[Enoughnowstop]

I am not sure I can take any more.

I am a single parent. I am over 50. My children depend on me to bring in a wage and keep a roof over our heads. One of my children is a type 1 diabetic and as such, vulnerable to this virus. I am without support as my parents are dead and I am an only child. I am a teacher and a good one. I love my job. I want to be in the classroom and I want to be supportive of the students I work with.

I have read thread after thread on here in the last 24 hours with people looking to find loopholes or claim to just use 'common sense' so that, for the sake of their mental health, they can get through the next 4 weeks. People who have every intention of meeting up with others, even if it is 'just' outside. People who want their children in school because they can't possibly cope with their children at home in lockdown and what about their rights to an education, a future and their mental health.

I have spent an hour this morning quietly sobbing in my room whilst reading this shit. The utter lack of social responsibility and refusal to see a bigger picture. Not one fuck given about either the physical or mental health of every single person now working in key positions knowing that potentially, things are worse than they were 7 months or so ago. When you want to push your child in the pram and don't see why meeting up with someone else pushing their child in a pram, despite the rules being 2 people not 4 people but it's OK because your mental health can't take any more, maybe just give a thought to those of us who are cramming ourselves into small rooms without ventilation with 32 people who refuse to wear masks because they're exempt and who are transmitting the virus with few.....statistics suggest that there will be anywhere between 5 and 50 students in my school tomorrow who will have that virus. A russian roulette of whether or not I will end up in a room with one of them. I mean how could we be anything but mentally unhealthy knowing full well that tomorrow might be the day we contract this virus and our lives change forever? Who is protecting the mental and physical health of keyworkers? Does anyone actually care about the mental and physical health of keyworkers?

Maybe just start thinking about the mental health of every single person and every single person's right to life and our children's right to have a physically and mentally well parent, capable of meeting their needs.

And please, feel free to professionally insult me some more, becuase that's what always happens on these threads, tell me we don't need teachers like you and if you're that bothered, get another job there are thousands of unemployed just waiting in the wings to take over. Well, no, you can't do without me and my colleagues, our experience, our skills, our professionalism. Just as you can't do without the medical professionals who are facing dealing with this shit again because your right to mental health negates our right to both physical and mental health.

Your rights don't usurp mine. I don't have much faith in this government, but they are what they are. They are making the rules. Follow them. Remember you are not the only one struggling. Be grateful that you're not the one doing the keyworking and be supportive of those of us who are by remembering we also have a right to be physically and mentally healthy. There is balance required. For all of us. We all have a right to a future. Let's make sure those who's future is taken from them in this pandemic number as few, not as many, as possible.

As for me, I think my resignation is on the cards. I think anything at all is better than this.

I'm very sorry OP but at the end of the day if my mum is so mentally ill that I risk her having a complete breakdown or ending her life (despite the fact she lives with my sister), then I'm going to see her
There will exceptional cases and that's fine but too many people try to convince themselves that their circumstances are exceptional when they really arent. They are just upset because they are missing something they can't have...like just about everyone.

There will exceptional cases and that's fine but too many people try to convince themselves that their circumstances are exceptional when they really arent

That isn't for you or for anyone on this thead to decide. You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.

Everyone should use their common sense and act in a way that is appropriate for them in a way that balances their needs and the risk to themselves and others
You wouldn't have thought that would have been the case after the 1st wage. But no, common sense is much weaker than doing the things that make us happier as individuals.

That isn't for you or for anyone on this thead to decide. You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors
I do know that some people do take the piss. Many have actually admitted it here because according to them, their social life is more important than the outcome of Covid as long as it doesn't impact on them badly.

I agree OP and wouldn’t blame you for resigning. It’s unfair what is being asked of school staff. I hope the petitions, unions etc make the government listen and schools go remote.

Maybe people will pay more attention then to the rules rather than believing they don’t apply to them, they are special or they can risk assess. You can’t risk assess this unless you and your family never meet anyone else. Already plenty of threads re seeing bfs/gfs, children having play dates etc.

Many have actually admitted it here because according to them, their social life is more important than the outcome of Covid as long as it doesn't impact on them badly.

I literally haven't seen a single person say that. If you can point me to a post that says that, I will happily admit I'm wrong.

I agree op, it is infuriating to read/listen to.

My dh works in a busy warehouse type environment with no windows. I'm on maternity leave with a 10 month old and dreading the next few weeks, but will be sticking to the rules and hoping for the best.

I understand people have genuine reasons for breaking or bending the rules, I really do. I can't imagine how hard it must be for some people.

It's those who just break the rules because they don't like being told what to do that upset me. My in laws are a case in point. From the start they have flouted the rules, saw people whenever they wanted, didn't isolate upon return from holiday etc. They have no financial worries, have a big house with a massive garden, very comfortable. But apparently them being asked to stay home to help limit the spread of a new virus and help protect others is (and I quote) 'just like what happened in Nazi Germany' 🤯🙄

@Completmentfille Your idea of moving my mother in or staying with her is not practical. I have a DH recovering from a serious operation to care for, and also my mother does not want to move 300 miles away. She's got guts- lived through the war- unlike many people today who whinge at anything.

If the NHS was not able to treat all covid patients that get into difficulties then this might drive some personal health responsibility.

A failure was for Boris to use the words ‘common sense’ in the summer.

As the selfish actions of a great many have proved (and still echo in the excuses people are giving here), common sense is something a lot of people don’t have. There is a lack in interpreting simple rules, statistics & reality if it doesn’t fit in with ones own opinions.

If anything this pandemic has shown me how selfish, ignorant & bloody minded some people are (more than I thought).

I want to see & hug & smell my son, sister, Mum & Dad & it breaks my heart I can’t. But we can see the big picture here, so we do our best. If we all followed the rules we can all do those things sooner rather than later.

100% with you on this. My 6th former is terrified of bringing the virus back to us and us being very badly affected by it. THAT will damage her mental health more than a few more weeks of online learning.
i hope the Government see sense and shut schools.
Hairdressers, pubs etc etc closed and it will be prolonged with schools open.

She's got guts- lived through the war- unlike many people today who whinge at anything.

I'll be sure to tell the abused women I work with to shut up whinging about being locked down with their abusers, thanks for that.

If the NHS was not able to treat all covid patients that get into difficulties then this might drive some personal health responsibility.

Well it already apparently can't treat patients with other health conditions due to covid.

@Enoughnowstop
Is a suicide less tragic than a covid death? You are belittling people with mental health issues on the brink.
Stop reading these threads and you might feel better.

It's about numbers and cold hard pragmatism, reducing overall deaths is the target. If suicides go up to save covid deaths as long as the overall figure is down then that is fine to me

That’s a different point. That’s a point in support of a lockdown policy (though I don’t think it’s clear at all that overall lost years will be greater if we don’t lockdown).

The OP’s post is driven at individuals. On a national level you may say suicides are acceptable collateral damage, but for that individual and their family their “mental health”, which the OP is so dismissive of, is of course going to be important to them. They aren’t “selfish” for not wanting family members to kill themselves.

@JurassicParkaha

I'm sorry you are struggling. But so is everyone else and one person's hardship does not negate another. You can get angry about people not obeying rules but you have NO IDEA about their personal situation. Suicide rates and depression are up considerably. There are people completely isolated from any family or friends who genuinely worry they may die in their apartments and no one would know for weeks. There are people who are staring down poverty, domestic abuse, severe mental health problems - do you really think your problems eclipse everyone else's? Having perspective goes both ways..

My bf is an essential worker too, and putting his life at risk every day even without a pandemic. Fire fighters, police, army - what do you think their lives are like 24/7? Human beings are not perfect and it is madness to spend your time judging them, instead of doing your own bit for society and accepting that everyone here is just trying to survive.

Totally agree 👏🏼

There have been no deaths under the age of 50 for Type 1's

If you follow Partha Kar, the research that came out way back (I think end of May/beginning of June) said no one under 20 had died at that point. The rest of it was grim reading too.

Thank you for the support from those who understood it. I really don't have the energy to try and justify myself to those who believe I have belittled those with mental health problems, particularly as I am on the brink myself. Or anything else.

Today was lovely. Year 11 are a joy. Resignation still in my planner. We'll see.

YANBU, and everything you say is valid. I'm 100% with you and totally understand why other people's selfish ways are getting on top of you.

I am about to be made redundant, after months of being on furlough, so I'm in the polar opposite position to you, risk wise, but feel the same anger at people flouting the rules, like their wants override everyone else's needs. Also, I'm in my 50s and both my parents are dead, so I understand how hard that is (although in some ways I think they're better off out of it, as they would really have struggled with the pandemic restrictions).

You are in a high risk occupation, with little support. It sounds incredibly tough and I wish I could help you. All I can do is say that I think most people will understand every word you wrote, and you are not alone in your anger.

Walk out, no one is holding a gun to your head. Supermarkets need workers now. When this shit storm is over you can go back to teaching.

OP I'm really sorry if that sounds patronising, I don't intend it to. But I've worked alongside many seriously stressed teachers before anyone knew about Covid, they left the profession all together and are now much happier. This doesn't have to mean goodbye to teaching forever for you though.

Supermarket wages unfortunately won't pay my mortgage. That is the dilemma. It is OK to say just leave, but I have three children depending on me so leaving without work to go to in the middle of a recession is hardly sensible. But then neither is hanging around to get sick and lose the house anyway. Nor is hanging on till the point that I drive the car off the road to avoid having to work. Balance is very difficult at the moment and I have none at all.

Really sorry to hear you are going through this but your health must come first, so many people will be in the same predicament as you if you can't pay the mortgage. A mortgage break maybe? With your skill set there will be something to tide you over.

Problem of our own making. People living with comorbidities & going into social occupations not giving a second thought for the likes of serious pandemics as they don’t come around often enough.

Maybe some career changes should be considered after the pandemic. No guarantee China won’t be sending us another Coronavirus in the future. SARS was only 20 years ago but we got lucky with that one.

Problem of our own making. People living with comorbidities & going into social occupations not giving a second thought for the likes of serious pandemics as they don’t come around often enough
@MummyPop00

Being over 50 is a problem of my own making?!

Having a child with type 1 diabetes, an autoimmune condition (which means it's one of those things, not the case that he 'ate too many sweets' nor will shed loads of cinnamon cure him), is a problem of my own making?

I should have thought about a pandemic when I trained to teach many years ago, looked into my crystal ball and known that it would fall at the point I was perhaps on the wrong side of middle age and that I would eventually have a child with a condition that is problematic in said pandemic?