Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

AIBU to say enough now?

273 replies

Enoughnowstop · 01/11/2020 11:16

I am not sure I can take any more.

I am a single parent. I am over 50. My children depend on me to bring in a wage and keep a roof over our heads. One of my children is a type 1 diabetic and as such, vulnerable to this virus. I am without support as my parents are dead and I am an only child. I am a teacher and a good one. I love my job. I want to be in the classroom and I want to be supportive of the students I work with.

I have read thread after thread on here in the last 24 hours with people looking to find loopholes or claim to just use 'common sense' so that, for the sake of their mental health, they can get through the next 4 weeks. People who have every intention of meeting up with others, even if it is 'just' outside. People who want their children in school because they can't possibly cope with their children at home in lockdown and what about their rights to an education, a future and their mental health.

I have spent an hour this morning quietly sobbing in my room whilst reading this shit. The utter lack of social responsibility and refusal to see a bigger picture. Not one fuck given about either the physical or mental health of every single person now working in key positions knowing that potentially, things are worse than they were 7 months or so ago. When you want to push your child in the pram and don't see why meeting up with someone else pushing their child in a pram, despite the rules being 2 people not 4 people but it's OK because your mental health can't take any more, maybe just give a thought to those of us who are cramming ourselves into small rooms without ventilation with 32 people who refuse to wear masks because they're exempt and who are transmitting the virus with few.....statistics suggest that there will be anywhere between 5 and 50 students in my school tomorrow who will have that virus. A russian roulette of whether or not I will end up in a room with one of them. I mean how could we be anything but mentally unhealthy knowing full well that tomorrow might be the day we contract this virus and our lives change forever? Who is protecting the mental and physical health of keyworkers? Does anyone actually care about the mental and physical health of keyworkers?

Maybe just start thinking about the mental health of every single person and every single person's right to life and our children's right to have a physically and mentally well parent, capable of meeting their needs.

And please, feel free to professionally insult me some more, becuase that's what always happens on these threads, tell me we don't need teachers like you and if you're that bothered, get another job there are thousands of unemployed just waiting in the wings to take over. Well, no, you can't do without me and my colleagues, our experience, our skills, our professionalism. Just as you can't do without the medical professionals who are facing dealing with this shit again because your right to mental health negates our right to both physical and mental health.

Your rights don't usurp mine. I don't have much faith in this government, but they are what they are. They are making the rules. Follow them. Remember you are not the only one struggling. Be grateful that you're not the one doing the keyworking and be supportive of those of us who are by remembering we also have a right to be physically and mentally healthy. There is balance required. For all of us. We all have a right to a future. Let's make sure those who's future is taken from them in this pandemic number as few, not as many, as possible.

As for me, I think my resignation is on the cards. I think anything at all is better than this.

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 02/11/2020 08:40

I agree with you fully OP about people not taking this seriously and happy to break the rules for totally selfish reason. Indeed, they don't even have any shame about it and are happy to tell anyone expecting to be told that they are wiser than anyone else.

I also agree about the lack of respect and appreciation for key workers overall.

I however disagree with your attitude to it. Keyworkers are keyworkers. That's how it is. My DD who is an HCA in hospital at the moment has just been told that the patient she was doing 9bservatiinson last week was diagnosed positive. All she had was the flimsy mask. She is now at risk. She has severe asthma.

Should all HCA, doctors, nurses, supermarket staff resign because they are at greater risk? Education is essential.

Bambooble · 02/11/2020 08:45

Hope your daughter is okay @dontdisturbmenow Flowers

Lovemusic33 · 02/11/2020 08:46

I feel for all teachers. I do think in the next couple of weeks school will close. It’s awful that teachers are not being given PPE and that students are not being made to wear masks (in high schools). I’m also in a job where I have no PPE but I’m not in contact with 100’s of people so it’s not as worrying.

I can see why parents want children in school, ideally I want mine in school but not at the cost of teachers getting covid. I worry about my eldest dd as she can not work at home due to having to share her space with her sister who is severely autistic, if schools close then I have to care for dd2 and can not work, I’m a self employed single parent but if schools do close I will cope.

I can’t see that schools can remain open when the virus spreads in schools, they will close eventually.

Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone · 02/11/2020 08:47

[quote Racoonworld]@Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone so you think it’s ok to have more suicides but not more Covid deaths? Despite many of those commiting suicide likely wouldn’t die from Covid?[/quote]
It's about numbers and cold hard pragmatism, reducing overall deaths is the target. If suicides go up to save covid deaths as long as the overall figure is down then that is fine to me.

dontdisturbmenow · 02/11/2020 08:47

Thank you @Bambooble.

We can only wait now. She is not overly anxious about it thankfully.

Requinblanc · 02/11/2020 08:50

Don't resign.

Instead call your GP and ask to be signed off work. We all have a breaking point and it sounds like you have reached yours. Contact your union and add your support to the calls to shut schools.

I am afraid this government has lost the plot so you have to do what you can to take care of yourself.

Dogwalks2 · 02/11/2020 08:54

My sister has given up teaching as she is very vulnerable, she loved teaching but can’t put her family through the worry of her exposure. I get really annoyed at selfish people breaking the law, we are all having a hard time but hopefully folllowing the rules we will come out the other side.

Nat6999 · 02/11/2020 08:56

I understand how you feel, ds is a pupil at a secondary school with 2180 pupils, according to him, half of them aren't wearing masks in corridors & communal areas. We live with my 82 year old dm & I am praying that BJ sees sense & closes schools ASAP, education can be caught up on when this is over, you can't change death. I feel for every key worker in any profession who is in your position.

JinglingHellsBells · 02/11/2020 08:57

I am utterly sick of people saying they won't obey the rules.

Yesterday the trend on Twitter was something along the lines of #we won't obey.

And yes, MN is full of Covidiots saying they are special and they will bend the rules to suit themselves.

I can only beleive they are thick and have no concept of how other people are sacrificing so much to keep their own loved ones safe.

My mum was widowed not long ago after a 70 year marriage. She lives alone and I have not hugged her since March and only seen her 3 times when it was allowed. (She lives 300 miles away.) Other than for medical appts she has not left the house, seen friends, or had a hug for almost 9 months. Previously she had an active social life.

Are these selfish Covidiots bothered about people like her?

JinglingHellsBells · 02/11/2020 08:59

I don't think the OP is posting about being a teacher; she's posting about people thinking they have the right to disobey guidelines and therefore risk infecting her and her family.

As are we ALL.

Oaktree55 · 02/11/2020 09:01

Well said. The amount of sociopaths that I’ve realised I live amongst is the most unnerving thing about this Pandemic. The utter lack of comprehension of basic maths and science by a huge majority of the population is the second most depressing.

Completmentfille · 02/11/2020 09:06

I'm very sorry OP but at the end of the day if my mum is so mentally ill that I risk her having a complete breakdown or ending her life (despite the fact she lives with my sister), then I'm going to see her.

If that makes me a "sociopath" (ridiculous hyperbole from PP there), then I'm a sociopath.

Stop blaming other people and start blaming the government for its utter failure to 1) get a functioning test and trace system in place and (2) equip the NHS to deal with a pandemic, which scientists have been warning for years would happen.

Completmentfille · 02/11/2020 09:07

My mum was widowed not long ago after a 70 year marriage. She lives alone and I have not hugged her since March and only seen her 3 times when it was allowed. (She lives 300 miles away.) Other than for medical appts she has not left the house, seen friends, or had a hug for almost 9 months. Previously she had an active social life. Are these selfish Covidiots bothered about people like her?

Personally if that were my mum I'd have moved her in with me or I'd have moved in with her, if I were able to.

SorrelBlackbeak · 02/11/2020 09:08

I completely and absolutely agree that people should follow the rules, but follow the actual rules, not the rules someone makes up on the internet so they can get angry about other people not complying.

JemimaPyjamas · 02/11/2020 09:09

@Enoughnowstop Type 1 diabetic here. I have not read the whole thread but wanted to say that, while Type 1's are 'higher risk' it doesn't mean it's a death sentence. There have been no deaths under the age of 50 for Type 1's.

ProudAuntie76 · 02/11/2020 09:10

@Completmentfille

My mum was widowed not long ago after a 70 year marriage. She lives alone and I have not hugged her since March and only seen her 3 times when it was allowed. (She lives 300 miles away.) Other than for medical appts she has not left the house, seen friends, or had a hug for almost 9 months. Previously she had an active social life. Are these selfish Covidiots bothered about people like her?

Personally if that were my mum I'd have moved her in with me or I'd have moved in with her, if I were able to.

I’m guessing that if that was an option JinglingBells would have done it.

All sorts of reasons why some people can’t; ie me, working on the frontline with Covid patients not wanting to kill my shielded parents, no space at home, already a carer for disabled child etc. No reason to guilt trip someone who already feels bad...but then this is MN isn’t it where the most important thing is your own feeling of superiority?

CatherinedeBourgh · 02/11/2020 09:10

Unfortunately for some people being locked down with an abusive partner can cost them their physical health, in fact their life, as well as their mental health. Deaths from domestic abuse were much higher during lockdown.

And for society as a whole the slide i to mindless obedience of arbitrary government diktats will end up costing us all an immeasurable amount.

So I am afraid yabu. Everyone should use their common sense and act in a way that is appropriate for them in a way that balances their needs and the risk to themselves and others.

For me that is staying at home and only going out once a week to go shopping. For others the balance will be different.

I will give them the courtesy of not jumping to the conclusion that it is because they don’t give a shit.

Toptotoeunicolour · 02/11/2020 09:11

Well said about all these people trying to find loopholes because their mental health trumps everyone else's. The only way to get through this is if we all find our community spirit. It's shameful that some people can't distinguish between the disappointment they suffer because they can't chat at the school gates and the genuine mental health issues they cause by doing so.
I'm afraid I do think that the schools should remain open at any cost though, and unis.

Mittens030869 · 02/11/2020 09:12

* It's about numbers and cold hard pragmatism, reducing overall deaths is the target. If suicides go up to save covid deaths as long as the overall figure is down then that is fine to me.

It’s not just suicides, though. There have also been unnecessary cancer deaths. Domestic abuse also increased during lockdown and more women were killed by their partners.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do what we can to mitigate the number of Covid cases, because otherwise the NHS would be overwhelmed and there would be even more excess deaths.

There really are no easy answers here.

Toptotoeunicolour · 02/11/2020 09:13

Everyone should use their common sense and act in a way that is appropriate for them in a way that balances their needs and the risk to themselves and others
I'm afraid this would be true on Planet Should. On Planet Earth, a few people are too selfish and short sighted to be able to make their own assessments, so there has to be rules for all.

Completmentfille · 02/11/2020 09:13

If the lockdown is extended, I'll be pulling my DS out of school because for me it is more important he sees his extended family.

Completmentfille · 02/11/2020 09:14

And I'm sorry but the way people are dismissing mental health on this thread is frankly discussing. Who are you to decide who has a "genuine" mental health problem and who doesn't?

monkeytennis97 · 02/11/2020 09:14

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/550846

I've seen a couple of posters on this thread saying they hope schools close. Here is a petition- a few days ago it was at 7k now over 250k.

Nicknacky · 02/11/2020 09:16

Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone Are you for real? Do only Covid deaths matter?

echt · 02/11/2020 09:16

Everyone should use their common sense and act in a way that is appropriate for them in a way that balances their needs and the risk to themselves and others

The problem with that is that everyone thinks they are being sensible. And as for people, being able to balance risk:

www.nytimes.com/2020/02/13/world/asia/coronavirus-risk-interpreter.html

This what the rules are for: to take the thinking out for individuals. It doesn't mean the rules are pleasant