At my breaking point now. Don't see light at the end of the tunnel

[Valleydad99]

This is probably not going to sit well with people but I'm honestly at the point where I'm questioning what the fucking point of these virus measures are. All the masks/social distancing/lockdowns haven't worked in eliminating the virus & now apparently as cases rise it's back to lockdown again?

Am I the only one thinking maybe we need a plan B? Rather than being flamed for apparently trying to kill people for questioning it?

My 1 year old has been locked down for half her life. I can't take the kids to see sport or play inside for basically no reason.

My kids are no longer welcome at church because of SD & in case they wander around like kids do so now we have no spiritual guidance & anyone I express concerns to just say it's for the greater good & fuck you. "Suffer the little children" said Jesus except when they need god most I suppose.

We've been following all the fucking rules but now it's well if more people followed the rules this would all be over. But that's just not true is it. There's no magic bullet & a vaccine doesn't cause it all to go away so I guess we'll just stay in our bunkers shouting wear a mask at people until we're all dead.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, guess I just want to shout into the void but I'm mentally at my breaking point & don't see a future for my children & me.

Perhaps OP is in local lockdown. You can’t meet anyone from your household inside or in the garden and many clubs etc aren’t on.

Sorry not read full thread yet but Do you have a partner op so you could take turns with church.

I think it’s not as doom and gloom as perhaps you’re feeling

Are you for real? Approx 1/3 of the country is not under the rule of 6, we’re not allowed to meet anyone outside our household in any setting. Do you really not know this is happening?

OP has said she’s not in an area of local lockdown

@JeanClaudeVanDammit thank you I think a lot of these posters have NO idea how bad it is for others. It’s hideous.

I think it’s not as doom and gloom as perhaps you’re feeling

😅😅

Yeah, it's brilliant! My teenagers think it's fantastic!

@Napqueeen1234 It breaks me to read your post. I don't really know what to say. When I get really low, I keep thinking that one day this too shall pass and it's the day after that that makes life worth living right now.

@Napqueen1234, please contact your doctor. You are going to hate me for this, but you don't sound well.

Napqueen please talk to someone urgently. Your children need you. xx

@Napqueen1234 I’m so sorry. I have felt and sometimes still do feel much as you describe during this period. Am in Glasgow and our situation wrt seeing people and places to take kids sounds the same. This will end. It’s fucking awful but it will, it has to.

I agree with others, I think you should speak to your doctor. No shame in needing help to survive this

Thank you for all the support messages. I have a small baby and when first locked down I had CBT which helped to an extent but was all about focussing on what you can do and control. We can’t do anything and I have no control now. I expect I may need medication if I reach out which I’d rather not take but it’s worth a try I suppose. I’m just so so so tired of waking up every day to this shit show of a life.

@Napqueen1234

Thank you for all the support messages. I have a small baby and when first locked down I had CBT which helped to an extent but was all about focussing on what you can do and control. We can’t do anything and I have no control now. I expect I may need medication if I reach out which I’d rather not take but it’s worth a try I suppose. I’m just so so so tired of waking up every day to this shit show of a life.

Routine helps I find. Give some structure to your life.

You can control your routine. You can set goals and targets for doing things. Even if its as simple as 'walk up the stairs 10 times' or 'get one job around the house done a day'. Etc etc. It worked for me before lockdown and its worked well during.^

It doesn't need to be 'learn french'. It has to be something achievable, so you get into a reward feed back loop.

@Napqueen1234 I hear you. Medication can be a scary prospect but it can often be really helpful. I’ve found the loss of control really hard too so what I’ve been doing with my psychologist is radical acceptance. There are meditations on YouTube (look for Tara Brach if interested) and the idea is not that you just accept the shit that is happening to you but learn to sit with it in a way that means it isn’t so painful. Or it may be that they can offer you a different type of therapy to CBT. You’re not alone, my psychologist says she’s seen so much deterioration during this period. It will be ok, I know how awful it is but we’ll look back on this one day and it’ll be behind us.

it’s worth a try I suppose

Do you take pain killers if you have a banging head ache? Would you advise a friend to keep going with a broken leg?

Get in touch with your doctor.

Napqueen1234

My heart sunk when I read your post. I’m also in the north and live in a local restriction area. It is crushingly depressing. I am coping just but had a really rocky period in June trying to juggle home schooling my 2 (one who is autistic with learning difficulties and challenging behaviour) and keeping my new ish business going (not eligible for furlough funding as only done one tax return for first year which was only a 3 month period). I had pnd very badly when my youngest was born, suicidal thoughts daily. I struggled alone for so long and that was with family support, baby groups, hv visits etc. I started medication when ds was 4 months old and I’m still on it now and he’s 6. We have gone through ds being diagnosed with cancer at 16 months old and being in hospital very very poorly for 6 months, then an autism diagnosis and huge amounts of stress. So I haven’t had an easy ride but I would agree the last 7 months have been a different kind of (and worse) difficult. I thrive off seeing my family and friends and socialising. If I wanted to re engage with my therapist it would be via zoom which quite frankly is a shite alternative- it makes my self conscious and shifty. It has been the worse 7 months of my life.
Anyway I get how you are feeling, I’ve been there. Keep talking and please see you gp.

@Napqueen1234 I had two miscarriages in lockdown, I feel I have no control over anything at all. It's the combination of things, as if someone pulled a rug from under my feet. I hear you. It will get better. Hang in there, get as much help as you can get right now. You are not alone.

Valleydad99

I'm questioning what the fucking point of these virus measures are. All the masks/social distancing/lockdowns haven't worked in eliminating the virus

Well one problem is that you thought they were supposed to eliminate the virus.

[quote PurplePansy05]@Napqueen1234 I had two miscarriages in lockdown, I feel I have no control over anything at all. It's the combination of things, as if someone pulled a rug from under my feet. I hear you. It will get better. Hang in there, get as much help as you can get right now. You are not alone. [/quote]
Oh @PurplePansy05 that’s awful. It must have been so difficult to go through with things as they are. I’m so sorry

@Limona

Personally, I can’t imagine anything more horrendous than my kids being taken from me, packed off somewhere random and not see them for years. That was the reality of WW2 life for many. So for all people insist that the ties to the community made it all grand, I can’t agree.

I don’t doubt some people have really suffered from losing jobs, but the other stuff - the ‘parks aren’t open / I don’t like wearing a face mask / my kids can’t run around church’ - well. It really isn’t THAT bad. Sorry.

We are not living in WW2 times, we really cannot compare now with them. Whatever our current fears, we are not being woken up by sirens and having to go into an air raid shelter. Neither is anyone having to go abroad to fight and maybe never come back.

Regarding evacuation, parents didn't have to send their children away if they believed they could keep them safe at home and plenty of mothers evacuated with their children.

Not everyone coped well with wartime Britain. My mother, for a start, hated having to go out to work which she had not done since marriage. I think she had been married about five years when my dad went off with the army - he was gone five years. She hated every minute but had to work as part of the war effort because she was childless. Other women saw it as an opportunity to do something worthwhile and be independent but not my mum, she felt it was all beneath her.

Her sister with whom she was very close went to stay down in the country somewhere for a while with her daughter (my cousin), to escape air raids.

What has happened this year is our freedom has been curtailed, we cannot see many people, go on holiday, to theatre or restaurants, and children have had their education disrupted. However it will not go on forever and when it is all over at least we won't be surrounded by bomb sites. The children will gradually pick up where they left off, little ones won't care because they've known no different, and there will be a concerted effort to repair damage to the economy.

The important thing is to stay alive and ensure as far as possible that others do too. We have to believe the current state of affairs is temporary and hang on in there for as long as we need to, not throw in the towel after seven months. It seems like a lifetime but it really isn't.

Terribly difficult for those with mental health problems, especially if they are working from home and have small children. I really feel for them.

There is some evidence that the virus is weaker than it was which can only be good news. Two people close to me who are in their late seventies and have underlying health conditions have had Covid-19 in the last few weeks. They are both now recovered and out of quarantine.

Your kids would not have been taken from you in WW2. Evacuation was not compulsory. You may have been offered a choice to have your children evacuated, but you could accept or decline this offer as you saw fit.

Yeah thanks jess, but that lecture should really have been aimed at the OP, who first brought WW2 up.

We’ve established that dairy. Lovely choice, wasn’t it? Have them evacuated, and go through the pain of separation, or risk having them killed or injured by bombs, their education and sleep disrupted? Soooo easy. Such wonderful times.

Thank you @AgentCooper. It's not been good. It was bad enough to deal with this grief out of lockdown when it happened before, now it's just the whole new, exacerbated stage of it. Being so isolated with grief for so long with no end in sight makes it a lot worse. This week is BLAW and it's a stark reminder of it as well.

I hope people can get help if they are struggling. Napqueen - could you go with kids to stay with family long-term in the south? I stayed in a 2 bed flat with my parents and 2 kids while caring for a relative abroad. It was space limited but I did feel supported.

OP - are there any online services you could join? Our church is quite traditional, but have nice kids services online.

I’m with you OP, it’s shit and especially for young children. I’m a SAHM of two young children. Most of the things we usually do have stopped (groups, family swimming, going to toy cafes, play dates at our house/other people’s houses/church groups), they are technically welcome at church but as you say they’re expected to sit with me which will never happen. I’m due another baby soon so we won’t even be able to meet up with other families outside because most my friends have two children so we will be breaking the rule of 6 (same for seeing their grandparents who live far away). I feel like their early childhood is being stolen from them as their world has been made so small. Yes we could still go to museums and day trips out but everywhere you have to wear a mask which I’m not comfortable with for long periods of time and makes things challenging to deal with the children.
The only thing that reassures me is that they are so young and adaptable. Being outside lots of really good for them and I believe that the family unit is the most important for them at this age. But it makes me so sad to think of all the things we could and should be doing now and how it’s just stopped with nothing but a long winter and no exit plan in front of us

no exit plan in front of us

That sentence hit the nail on the head for me.

It’s easier to cope, when times are tough, to know the end is in sight. And at the moment, that is what I’m lacking. I naively thought a month on lockdown would be the end of covid... obviously. It!