At my breaking point now. Don't see light at the end of the tunnel

[Valleydad99]

This is probably not going to sit well with people but I'm honestly at the point where I'm questioning what the fucking point of these virus measures are. All the masks/social distancing/lockdowns haven't worked in eliminating the virus & now apparently as cases rise it's back to lockdown again?

Am I the only one thinking maybe we need a plan B? Rather than being flamed for apparently trying to kill people for questioning it?

My 1 year old has been locked down for half her life. I can't take the kids to see sport or play inside for basically no reason.

My kids are no longer welcome at church because of SD & in case they wander around like kids do so now we have no spiritual guidance & anyone I express concerns to just say it's for the greater good & fuck you. "Suffer the little children" said Jesus except when they need god most I suppose.

We've been following all the fucking rules but now it's well if more people followed the rules this would all be over. But that's just not true is it. There's no magic bullet & a vaccine doesn't cause it all to go away so I guess we'll just stay in our bunkers shouting wear a mask at people until we're all dead.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, guess I just want to shout into the void but I'm mentally at my breaking point & don't see a future for my children & me.

@ahhanotheryear

I think people did think/hope the spring lockdown would solve the problem.

I understand how you feel it's incredibly isolating especially when you've got small children. I like the outdoors but I fed up of the usual activities especially when its wet and windy. And before anyone says its the right clothing, no clothing works when you are walking a toddler and pushing a pram in driving rain as its so exposed where I am. I hate the mask wearing as I'm partially deaf and could manage before but cant now

Summer has been fairly pleasant. I'm going to have to give myself a few good talking tos about staying positive through winter.

What makes me really really cross is some years recently there have been over 25000 deaths from flu and as a society we do very little about those deaths.

My grandparents are all dead now but they were all in their 20s and early 30s during the war. All either fought or did war work. I do often wonder what they would have done during these times.

Yes, it was lockdown for three weeks. Then extend into the summer to prepare the NHS, then it'll be over by Christmas...now spring...when we get there it'll be pushed again & told we're selfish for wanting mum over for tea or an education for the littleys because covid covid covid

for you OP, I totally get how you must be feeling. It’s really tough on everyone at the moment. But we will get through it. Try to look for the positives in everyday. I have a chronic illness, and have learned to live in the moment, it helps me. Don’t be hard on yourself either, it’s completely natural to feel down in the circumstances.

It's shit. It's going to be shit for a while to come, because this virus strikes at the very heart of what we are as a species. Our super adaption is group communication - everything we have achieved from building cities to flying to the moon has been done jointly. Now, we cannot have that without spreading Coronavirus to our friends and family.

However....we lived through plagues before. Most of them had no cures and no real understanding behind transmission. For that alone, I have hope.

Cases are going to be high while schools and universities are open with full classrooms. Especially without masks.

We're struggling too with not being able to take our toddler to church, and I think people who are not religious just can't understand why it might be a problem. My church returned last week, and my husband and I will be alternating so one of us goes each week. Currently chatting to another church family about whether the adult who doesn't go in each family can take the children to play in the park together, so at least we can talk together and get some support. You don't mention a partner so I have no idea if you're a single parent, but would something similar be a possibility for you?

Sending love and prayers your way, this is a hard slog and I have days when I just want to not wake up in the morning, I do get it.

Re chruch, do you have a partner? Would it be viable for you to go to different services, so one can have the children? I think not getting to practice your faith must make things feel bleaker for you.

Unless you’re single leave the DC with their father and go to church.

I am so with you in this...
Stay in your rabbit hutch... Allowed out to work or shop or go to school but you must be faceless when doing it. No going out to enjoy life... Our usual low cost activities of museums, libraries, art centres, children's centres are closed. But if you want to wander round shops or go to a restaurant spending money we don't have because income has plummeted then that's ok. Faking it for the kids who are thoroughly fed up and want to see grandparents, non school friends, cousins. I'm depressed and don't know how much longer I can fake this...

I'm with you OP. All the lockdown measures and closing pubs at 10 and not allowing people to comfort each other at funerals is just bollocks. Places with strict rules are seeing cases rise and people are suffering. The quality of life for many is not worth it. Enough is enough now. And before anyone tells me I'm heartless or want to kill your grandma, I don't. I just see a virus trying to be stopped by stupid rules that a virus won't adhere to. The virus is doing what a virus does.

@Valleydad99 I empathise with every word of your OP. I have been feeling like this ever since the first lockdown was announced. Nobody is listening.

I hear you it’s shit and it really does feel like overkill considering how few people are at high risk. It’s not like smallpox, most people who catch it are fine, and unfortunately people die of things all the time. We haven’t mastered nature. 50,000 extra deaths in 2018 due to a bad flu year, where was lockdown then? I’m not saying covid is a flu, It’ll be worse for some but much better for many, and people do need to just live their lives. Mental health matters too.

On church - I hear you. Mine isn’t back yet but I’m also only pregnant with no.1 so not at the wrangling stage. I spent some time looking for good online services during lockdown and found a few, many are ongoing. I know it’s not the same as being in church but would finding a good online service maybe help? You’d feel more free to worship and listen at home where you didn’t have to worry too much what the kids are doing. I’ve been frequenting one service that’s been quite interactive with commenting on YouTube, so you do feel less alone at home.

OK, so what is your solution then ?.

I know what you mean OP. My children keep saying,”can we see this, if Covid is over” or “can we go to that place when it’s safe” and “for Christmas, can I have tickets to see a show” and then the disappointment when they suddenly remember nothing is open.

We were on lockdown for weeks, it stopped the NHS from being overrun but it didn’t stop the virus. The government need to start ploughing money they are using to subsidise business that have had to temporarily close into the NHS as this virus is going nowhere and we need the hospitals running at top level.

this video outlines what I think would be a better approach. Calm, measured, and not punishing the young.

I agree op. Sadly the central messages have not focussed on the infinitesimal risk to the majority if the population.

Schools should have reopened in May (and unis) allowing a little moderate proliferation during the warm, summer months. That woukd have aided immunity and possibly woukd have resulted in a higher but flatter curve to alleviate panic.

FWIW the Zoe App/Research Centre thinks there are 21k cases per day but predicts the curve is flattening.

Personally I blame the unions more than the government for the mess we now seem go be in but I'm not sure that me as is real.

I am 60 and going into work as my h as I am allowed. My DC went back to uni last week.

Someone posted that whilst CV has claimed 1 million lives, we have added 62 million extra people to the planet this year (so far). Puts it right into perspective for me.

In general, if stuck between a rock & a hard place, a species should always favour development of the young over the old. Which is why I’m so glad the government seem very keen on keeping schools open.

The measures were never meant to eliminate the virus. They were put in place to ensure the hospitals aren’t overloaded.

I agree OP! Originally when lockdown happened in March there was high compliance. Since then we've had sunny days with people congregating, marches and protests and Eat Out to Help Out - all encouraging social interaction. The lockdown method of control only works if a very high %age of people do it - and they aren't any more. So whilst I currently follow all rules and guidelines I think they are pretty pointless.

There is quite good progress on the Oxford vaccine - it’s doing fine in the trials, they have mostly been taking place in Brazil as virus levels were low here. There are also some quite promising treatments being tested, not just the experimental one Trump has been given and that is being trialed here. At the worst I expect the virus to become less serious next summer (it doesn’t like the sun) so restrictions can be relaxed a lot and by next winter there will be more treatments and vaccines. We just have to get through the winter, this wont last forever and it may be reduced to no more than flu before next summer. I expect the trials on some of the treatments to produce results before then. Encourage anyone you know to take their vitamin D supplements, I’ve started on mine and have to remember to get dh on them now.

This will not be forever, it is a small time in a child's life and if the adults around them remain positive they will learn resilience from this.

Teach your children to wear masks and other people will be less afraid of them.

Dont think the virus is harmless to the young either - it is to most but not all. Apparently healthy young people do still die of this and other have a very nasty illness that persists for at least 2 months. Your children will have bigger problems if they have a long term sick parent.

Ah, another " let other people die/be locked up at home so I can live" thread. Nice.

Particularly loving the "we locked down but no cure was found". Did you check under your pillow, that's how vaccine developments are usually made.

Agreed.

So many job losses it's heartbreaking. This stupid 10pm rule has all but destroyed what was left of the hospitality industry. Where are all these people going to find jobs ? Who's going to pay for it all when millions end up on the tidal wave of benefit claimants that's about to land........don't even get me started on the way cancer patients have been treated (( or not as the case is ))

I rely don't think it's worth it. Those at high risk should have isolated with looser restrictions for those who want to chance it.

It's incredibly hard OP, I'm so sorry you're struggling. Could you encourage your church to perhaps find some creative solutions, unfortunately there's no perfect solutions to this at all, but it's really not that churches 'don't care' but that their hand is forced by the government and diocese and also that they do care about being part of the effort to flatten the curve and stop the NHS being overwhelmed. Our church continues with both online and physical services, we've started family pods where we have turned pews around (not always poss I know) and have bags of books and toys to give out. Not at all the same and we're looking for ways to start up kids groups again, we have with the older ones online and in small groups. It's just about searching for ways through it that ease it a little bit while knowing it's not going to be the same for a while. I think it must be very very difficult for those with young children and I am so sorry for you

I don't however see a solution really. If restrictions are eased teh virus will keep doing what it does and health services will get overwhelmed which will have knock on effects which make things even worse across society. I don't think full lockdown is the answer at all but neither is easing. It's catch 22 really.

But many churches are working incredibly hard to nurture their congregations and communities and coming up with some really innovative stuff. We've seen that online church has been a lifeline to many sick and disabled people, for eg, so we're expanding that and continuing it beyond all of this. There are sparks of light.

Its really tough and its obvious you're struggling - Im sorry about that.

But saying that we're having to follow rules for no obvious reason is not okay. We have over 40,000 deaths, the UK has the most excess deaths in Europe and we're experiencing a second wave. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if we were not following the rules? Looking at the US numbers may give you some indication.

This is a marathon not a sprint. And its so difficult, I totally empathise. My DP is on the shielding list, we haven't seen our parents, gone into the office or even gone into a shop since March - I get how hard this is.

It's awful though people will tell you it really isn't that bad.

I have no wise words but I am so done with all of this. This year has finished me off work wise (I work at a uni) and I literally see no joy in life at all. The responsibility with kids is immense and I will keep going but I see nothing positive. I understand as best I can where you are op. Solidarity is all I can offer.