At my breaking point now. Don't see light at the end of the tunnel

[Valleydad99]

This is probably not going to sit well with people but I'm honestly at the point where I'm questioning what the fucking point of these virus measures are. All the masks/social distancing/lockdowns haven't worked in eliminating the virus & now apparently as cases rise it's back to lockdown again?

Am I the only one thinking maybe we need a plan B? Rather than being flamed for apparently trying to kill people for questioning it?

My 1 year old has been locked down for half her life. I can't take the kids to see sport or play inside for basically no reason.

My kids are no longer welcome at church because of SD & in case they wander around like kids do so now we have no spiritual guidance & anyone I express concerns to just say it's for the greater good & fuck you. "Suffer the little children" said Jesus except when they need god most I suppose.

We've been following all the fucking rules but now it's well if more people followed the rules this would all be over. But that's just not true is it. There's no magic bullet & a vaccine doesn't cause it all to go away so I guess we'll just stay in our bunkers shouting wear a mask at people until we're all dead.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, guess I just want to shout into the void but I'm mentally at my breaking point & don't see a future for my children & me.

I’m with you, it’s tough. It’s worse now because we are not in full lockdown. There seems to be an expectation that we can go about our normal business but we can’t.

Nothing will get better until a vaccine arrives.

I'm sorry you feel so bad today

I do see a future but it is hazy and further away than I would like.

Is there anyone at your church you could speak to, just for support? Hopefully the advantage of being part of a church is a network to draw on?

I agree. It's like Canute trying to hold back the tide. I had a thought last night, about what an utterly pointless existence this is. Just eking out time.

Sorry you're struggling OP. Where abouts are you? Soft play (shudder), baby groups, toddler groups and some other things for little ones are open here, are you in a local lockdown? There will be an end to it even though it doesn't seem it now, but it is bloody hard

It's tough, hold on in there, you're doing great. I don't have faith but I understand people have it to lean on it tough times, but lean on each other. Your 1 year old knows no different. You can take a short walk, kick some leaves, watch a snail 🐌 notice the little things, they matter. Pop some music on I always forget this, but lifts my mood and baby can play the kitchen pans !!!

If you are Uk you can go to shops ( the garden centre, pets at home, soft play often have a young kids section.) some baby / toddler classes are back running now.

No advice but I’m with you OP. Woke up today just feeling so down and hopeless. My area is high risk aswell so tight restrictions. Can’t see when this will end/ when life will be enjoyable again

I agree. It's depressing. I haven't felt this bad in a long time.

I, hear you, it's rubbish isn't it? Then there's no guarantee that a vaccine would actually work - people still catch and die of the flu and there is a vaccine for that. In the past, people had to live with the risk of catching horrible diseases (TB for example) and just got on with their lives hoping they wouldn't get it.

For me, I hate the prospect of never going to the theatre again - thst my daughter might never get to go and the arts are going to be totally decimated.

There is a point though, even in tough times. Take a step back and try to appreciate the smaller things: autumn leaves crunching, collecting conkers, being outside on open space. This can't go on forever.

I feel the same. Alone with 3 young DCs, working full time and longer hours than ever, and it's getting to be groundhog day. We've already had two colds that were pretty typical colds but led to high temperatures and coughs, so needed tests and then isolation before they were allowed back to school.

Officially soft plays etc are open, but with rocketing cases in our area it seems a bit too risky as we'll be screwed if I get sick (vulnerable parents, ex husband with health issues that have been exacerbated by lockdown and can't manage DCs alone).

The pp is right about noticing the little things, and we've had some lovely bits at home between the crap, but I'm exhausted and lonely and terrified I'll lose my job from all the unpaid leave and half-arsing I'm having to do around childcare. I feel like saying a very unfair but heartfelt fuck you to anyone who suggests a rainbow walk, jumping in puddles or a socially distanced fun Halloween at home...

Your not alone OP, it been really tough. I'm in Scotland and softplay isn't open yet toddler groups have yet to resume. I've ended up putting my two year old into a private nursary so he can interact with other kids his age. I've been lucky that I've been able to change jobs to be able to afford it.

I think you do need to realise that this is a virus, people following the rules will not eradicate it. We do need to live with it and accept that some restrictions will be in place to curb the spread and protect the nhs, we cannot eradicate it without a vaccination.

I hope you have a better day today and please realise that you are not alone in feeling this way.

I'm in North Yorkshire. Just outside a local lockdown area so very much feeling of its coming for you. We've taken a million bloody walks since spring. Easter was cancelled, Christmas going the same way. Church has to follow the rules meaning they don't care as that's the instructions from the bishops.

My grandparents went through the war & keep saying the blitz spirit was all about togetherness & neighbours. At 90 it's starting to grate on even them this enforced loneliness & I can hear desperation to see the kids on zoom.

I agree. what I’ve come to realise is this magical vaccine is the only way the coronaphobes will allow the rest of us to get back to our normal lives.

Surely nobody expected lockdown in the spring to eliminate the virus. Merely reduce its spread. Which it did do.

Why don't you listen to Dr John Campbell on you tube he is a retired nurse and very positive about the pandemic. He does many videos.

The only viruses to be eradicated are small pox and rinderpest. That took a very long time. The virus is not going anywhere, how can you beat a virus that you are still learning about, how can you fight something that you can not see? The virus is throwing up new symptoms even to this day and now many are coming forward to talk about their long Covid experiences. Reports of people catching it twice or even three times are swirling around too. A vaccine will offer some protection but will not eradicate it so trying to control transmissions is all that we can do. The vaccine is only to be rolled out to the most vulnerable first so their is going to be a very long wait for it I am afraid and still it will continue to spread in the meantime. How long do typical vaccination programs last for?
Everyone thinks that the roll out for this vaccination will be the saviour, I do not. You could be in a very long line waiting, how will they roll it out without overwhelming the NHS, most doctors will not allow you into surgeries and visitor numbers will have to be reduced to adhere to social distancing.

This is the most hardest time of my life too, joys of life seems to have been sucked out and people are walking around like empty souls. Utterly depressing. I am taking one day at a time but realistic that we are live like this for some time which breaks my heart for me and my children.

Feeling the same

It’s all the contradictions that get me. Eat out to help out then “it’s all your fault for going out” even though people were told to.

We had months of lockdown and no cure was found. Targeted protection while allowing the healthy to get back to work, earn money and pay taxes is the only way forward now.

The current strategy protects the middle classes who can WFH while throwing working classes (many of whom are older/vulnerable) and young people (who have almost no risk) under the bus.

I get you op and I find it desperately sad how many people including me feel let down by their church at a time when they needed them most. My motto at the moment is "just do today" I get up, make the most I can of the day I have (am in Liverpool btw so strict local lockdown) then go to sleep and repeat. I'm trying not to worry/plan for the future just keep plodding on.

This will all be a distant memory one day and your baby won't even remember it..... hang in there it'll get better eventually!!

Church has to follow the rules meaning they don't care as that's the instructions from the bishops.

Which church is this, OP? I'm not sure children aren't allowed in any church by order of the bishops. Mine have been back at mass for months now, as have the other children in the congregation. Could you look around and see if there's a church that's welcoming to you all?

Just on the church aspect, I’m sorry you feel let down - the vicar is probably under a lot of pressure from the older members of the congregation who feel very worried for their health.

But I know that’s no help for you. Are there other parents with young children in your church you could discuss this with? Are there any churches in the area still doing services online?

I agree it’s pretty depressing but I don't think there is a plan B or not until there’s a vaccine anyway. No one really knows if masks are helping because they are not worn in all situations, not worn at school, not worn when visiting people’s houses, not worn outside etc..., it maybe that they do work when worn correctly but not many are wearing them correctly.

I think all we can do is sit tight until there’s a vaccine and we are allowed to return to normal. I know it would be much easier if we knew a vaccine would be ready in a few months but despite what people say we don’t really know when it will be.

I think people did think/hope the spring lockdown would solve the problem.

I understand how you feel it's incredibly isolating especially when you've got small children. I like the outdoors but I fed up of the usual activities especially when its wet and windy. And before anyone says its the right clothing, no clothing works when you are walking a toddler and pushing a pram in driving rain as its so exposed where I am. I hate the mask wearing as I'm partially deaf and could manage before but cant now

Summer has been fairly pleasant. I'm going to have to give myself a few good talking tos about staying positive through winter.

What makes me really really cross is some years recently there have been over 25000 deaths from flu and as a society we do very little about those deaths.

My grandparents are all dead now but they were all in their 20s and early 30s during the war. All either fought or did war work. I do often wonder what they would have done during these times.

We've taken a million bloody walks since spring

Absolutely hear you on this one! Boring boring boring and also having to pretend it isn't boring to the children is in itself even more boring!

I watched a clip of a stadium concert a couple of days ago and thought how amazing it looked - I'm normally really a home body but could really go for a mosh pit right now

@HostaFireAndIce

Church has to follow the rules meaning they don't care as that's the instructions from the bishops.

Which church is this, OP? I'm not sure children aren't allowed in any church by order of the bishops. Mine have been back at mass for months now, as have the other children in the congregation. Could you look around and see if there's a church that's welcoming to you all?

It's not that they're not allowed in. It's that they must sit still & not move & it's not possible to corral a 1 & a 3 year old for an hour without a literal pen which they've got rid of as no kids zone so we're not welcome

It’s children I feel sorry for too OP.
They aren’t the ones affected by the virus but have had their little lives turned upside down and can’t live their lives in a normal way.
My DC have a couple of their activities back on though (and we’re in local restrictions) so maybe look around for some new groups to go to? When I see my kids running about with other children it fills my heart. But they can’t have their friends to play which is so upsetting for them. I regularly hear ‘when can X come to play?’ and I have to repeat the same line to them ‘sorry I don’t know, it’s the rules’. Oh their little faces 😞
Oh and church yes I agree to an extent, some of our services are on but it’s so sterile and the kids can’t play together like before. It’s all sit 2m apart with your mask on (I’m not anti-masks btw!). No humanity.

🙁 about your church. Hang on in there, as there is still beauty in the everyday. It is going to be tough this autumn, but 🙏🏼 for you and your little ones