At my breaking point now. Don't see light at the end of the tunnel

[Valleydad99]

This is probably not going to sit well with people but I'm honestly at the point where I'm questioning what the fucking point of these virus measures are. All the masks/social distancing/lockdowns haven't worked in eliminating the virus & now apparently as cases rise it's back to lockdown again?

Am I the only one thinking maybe we need a plan B? Rather than being flamed for apparently trying to kill people for questioning it?

My 1 year old has been locked down for half her life. I can't take the kids to see sport or play inside for basically no reason.

My kids are no longer welcome at church because of SD & in case they wander around like kids do so now we have no spiritual guidance & anyone I express concerns to just say it's for the greater good & fuck you. "Suffer the little children" said Jesus except when they need god most I suppose.

We've been following all the fucking rules but now it's well if more people followed the rules this would all be over. But that's just not true is it. There's no magic bullet & a vaccine doesn't cause it all to go away so I guess we'll just stay in our bunkers shouting wear a mask at people until we're all dead.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, guess I just want to shout into the void but I'm mentally at my breaking point & don't see a future for my children & me.

Our Church has family services where children running around is expected and welcomed.

So did mine, in previous times. I really miss it. It was lovely, and since the church was the busiest church of our denomination in the area, the rest of the congregation must have agreed. The Christmas children’s mass is obviously not going to happen this year and that was a big part of our Christmas celebrations.

I’m often intrigued by how convinced many are that this is a sole attempt to protect the elderly and vulnerable, and with that, intentionally or otherwise, there is a suggestion that they should get on and die because, well, they will anyway. No matter how it is phrased, that is really what you are saying - WWJD indeed!

Does the same apply to other countries (apart from the much lauded Sweden) - did they all have full lockdowns and devastate the economy purely out of the kindness of their hearts?

In my view, I am unhappy with many aspects of lockdown and would happily revert to a normal life tomorrow. Just the same, some perspective helps. Life is still ticking on, and it will continue to do so.

Hi OP. You are not alone. I see no use in imposing restrictions only for cases to increase when things open up a bit. There is then a huge overreaction to what are actually very small numbers of cases. 22 people in ICU in scotland who have tested for Covid - we don't know if they are in ICU because of Covid or because they were admitted with other conditions and then got covid in hospital.

I feel children and young people's needs have been thrown under a bus because of the need to preserve life at all cost and regardless of the balance of harms from other things.

So to put this in context I know of 2 people who have died from Covid - one was in a care home, the other had complications from a scheduled operation, contracted covid in hospital and sadly died. On the other side of the coin I know of 2 people who have committed suicide (mental health crisis during lockdown). I also know 2 people who died from non-Covid causes (illnesses that cause thousands of deaths a year normally)

So for me I think the Gov and population has lost all sense of proportion around Covid. Yes it can cause death but so can lots of other things.

Does the same apply to other countries (apart from the much lauded Sweden) - did they all have full lockdowns and devastate the economy purely out of the kindness of their hearts?

Just because all other (western) countries are doing it doesn't mean it is the correct approach.

They needed to get their test and trace shit hot. They didn't. If they had we could basically have gone back to normal life by now.

I don’t know if I can agree with you there OP. Because if the Sunday school was open and you took them and your children aren’t at risk because of their age but someone else is because of theirs - well, that’s not very Christian either, is it? Suffer little children, yes, but note Jesus didn’t expect his disciples to be the ones to go up to the man with leprosy.

People like to misquote “suffer little children”, it doesn’t mean children are hated or abhorred by the Church, it just means right now it isn’t possible for them to attend. I mean, would you actually take them, if you could, even though they might unknowingly pass on the virus? Because I’m one of the most laid back people I know about it, and even I felt guilty when I realised I could have passed it to someone who works in a nursing home.

[quote WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo]@Madhairday I'm high risk and so I'm taking far more precautions than most. I'm happy to do that to protect myself. People like the elderly gent I regularly see waiting at the bus stop with an oxygen tank strapped to his back should be doing the same

As for society collapsing I think you'll find that's already happening. Again, what are all these people going to do ? And who's going to pay for it ? Don't even get me started on the fact I know more people who have killed themselves because of the impact of restrictions (( job losses, business collapsing, usual stuff )) than I know that have died as a result of coronavirus.[/quote]
I'm so sorry you know people who have taken their own lives. That's desperately sad, of course. I think much of the problem is is that we already had a society that didn't support mental health issues and with the whole austerity agenda people were left more and more alone to cope - and this has obviously pushed some too far. I feel so sad about it all because there just doesn't seem to be a way that would have eased any of this - if no lockdown covid would have raged further, hundreds of thousands dying and long term ill which would have knock on effects and probably cause more breakdown of MH.

Interestingly, studies just coming out on ONS are showing numbers of suicides down on previous years over the past six months, especially among young people. It doesn't make it any easier for those suffering, of course, but just should be referenced in order to balance the narrative of lockdown causing more suicides and deaths than it prevents.

I'm ECV and I take precautions, I haven't been in a shop since March. But there are millions like me out in jobs they cannot simply give up, and have to use public transport, have to be in public facing roles in education, healthcare etc. You really can't just say 'isolate the vulnerable and let the rest of us get on with it.' it shows no nuance or depth of thought at all about the actual situation we are facing.

I feel so sad about it all because there just doesn't seem to be a way that would have eased any of this

Yes there is. It was called proper test and trace.

That’s not what I asked, though, plonk. Do you think France, Spain, Germany, NZ, all suddenly had such compassion for their elderly and vulnerable they went to these measures?

And sorry if any typos, there’s a bloody great big ad in the middle of the page so I can’t properly see what I’m typing!

@PlonkItDownNOW

I feel so sad about it all because there just doesn't seem to be a way that would have eased any of this

Yes there is. It was called proper test and trace.

That would certainly have helped!

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

I am not a Christian, having had several attemps over the years to be one.

I hear you OP, its awful. Is there any way to be creative with your faith eg outside meetings? I think out local SA is offering this.

Just think of every swear word you have ever heard and transfer them to this post.

Sorry your struggling OP. I think things will be better towards the end of next year. I dont believe a vaccine that can eradicate this is coming. But it either will or the virus will have its thing by 2022 in the main.

I wanted to retrain to teach next September but inreality I cant get any work experience. I think sometimes we have just to accept its mentally survive this however we can and accept the next 12 months is a form of stasis.

As long as my kids get a education I have no other Hope's or dreams. Get the kids a future, to me that's the bar. I cant invest further than that.

At the end of the day we have no say in what will happen so try not to stress about what you can not control

I live in a place where life seems as close to normal as possible in a pandemic. Schools open, people going to work (many still part of the week home), shops are busy (with some restrictions on how many allowed in), people going out for drinks, meals. Some kids hobbies are back, others not (my DC's hobbies unfortunately not). Playdates for kids, busy play parks etc. If we have to lockdown again I will really struggle.

Do you think France, Spain, Germany, NZ, all suddenly had such compassion for their elderly and vulnerable they went to these measures?

I repeat, just because other countries did it doesn't mean it was necessarily the correct course of action. The correct course of action was shit hot test and trace, not lockdown.

As an aside, all the above named countries have protected their arts industries, so I don't see why Britain can't do the same.

Im feeling exactly the same way as you OP. Im just so fed up with it all, Im giving myself an hour or two tonwalkow then Im going to try and snap out of it.

It wont last forever and when its all over we will appericate our freedom.

But whether it was the right course or action or not, the mere fact that it was done is rather telling, isn’t it?

But whether it was the right course or action or not, the mere fact that it was done is rather telling, isn’t it?

Is it?

It wont last forever and when its all over we will appericate our freedom.

The economic fall out will basically last forever. I won't be appreciating much once I have no job and I've lost my home.

I hear you OP. I think people with pre-school toddlers are carrying a huge burden through CV. Yes, some people have wonderfully content little ones, who are happy to just play with a sibling, a stick and a puddle every day, but I shudder with the memory of how important meeting other parents, and kids was for me pre-school, and can't imagine how I would have coped, with no family or friends nearby - (we had moved to a new area, and were very isolated).

I see that you have done a million walks already, and now winter is approaching. Any chance of adopting a dog, or volunteering to walk one for an elderly person locally? I know that just going for a walk, in winter would have been a challenge for my littlies, but with a dog in tow, it might have been different. A local facebook page might reveal someone in need.

Re church - can you be visiting neighbouring churches, to see if any are doing something better with their kiddies groups? Not as good as your own church, I know, but as a temporary measure, maybe there is something around. And email your childrens worker/vicar too. Let them know how important this is to you. Throw out the challenge to them to help, somehow, somewhere. IME people get more creative when pushed to find a solution. There are other times in the week when that building is empty and something could be set up, even if it is just for a couple of families at a time, to allow for lots of extra space. Be un-English and make a bit of noise about how you really need them to work with you to do something . . .

Thinking of you . . .

You are not alone OP, many people feel like this. Looking after two small children is hard enough without having all your usual support mechanisms taken away.

The only way I can cope is to avoid reading too much of the news, take it one day at a time and find small (sometimes very small) things to cheer up my day. Mainly biscuits at the moment.

Wishing you well. It will get better.

Targeted protection while allowing the healthy to get back to work, earn money and pay taxes is the only way forward now.

The current strategy protects the middle classes who can WFH while throwing working classes (many of whom are older/vulnerable) and young people (who have almost no risk) under the bus.

Totally agree with this (and I speak as someone who has worked at home, freelance, in a MC kind of job for years and for whom work has continued as normal). I'm sick of the narrative in some of the media and culture about home-educating kids, largely perpetuated by and for those who have the time, skills and swanky home technology to do it.

Children really shouldn't be running round in church anyway. Our congregation is mostly over 75 and they dont need norovirus or any of the other bugs kids regularly bring back from preschool, let alone covid. Do you have no childcare for them so you could go alone?

@munchmunchly

It's tough, hold on in there, you're doing great. I don't have faith but I understand people have it to lean on it tough times, but lean on each other. Your 1 year old knows no different. You can take a short walk, kick some leaves, watch a snail 🐌 notice the little things, they matter. Pop some music on I always forget this, but lifts my mood and baby can play the kitchen pans !!!

If you are Uk you can go to shops ( the garden centre, pets at home, soft play often have a young kids section.) some baby / toddler classes are back running now.

@munchmunchly soft plays and baby groups are closed where I am, as are any wee soft plays in cafes. The council pools are closed. The libraries are click and collect. We can’t have people in our houses. It is desperately isolating.

I agree completely OP.

@Valleydad99

I'm in North Yorkshire. Just outside a local lockdown area so very much feeling of its coming for you. We've taken a million bloody walks since spring. Easter was cancelled, Christmas going the same way. Church has to follow the rules meaning they don't care as that's the instructions from the bishops.

My grandparents went through the war & keep saying the blitz spirit was all about togetherness & neighbours. At 90 it's starting to grate on even them this enforced loneliness & I can hear desperation to see the kids on zoom.

Isn't your church doing virtual congregations? Seems like a logical step to me.