Anyone else hit-the-wall?

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I have lots to be grateful for, can WFH, big house, big garden, laid back kids/DH and I had been coping well with lockdown.

Really slumped now though, finding it hard to get my head into gear for work and a bit teary and down. I'm being disciplined about work/family time and have downtime at weekends but still find myself dreading Monday morning. Oh to be able to go for a swim/see a film/have a day out.

Has anyone else found it really tough just lately? What's keeping you going?

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I was the same tortoise !

[caramac04]

I feel like all I do is cook, clean kitchen, load/ unload dishwasher and walk dog.
This is not true. I sit around a fair bit and spend ages on Mumsner.
I’m just bored. I’m fed up.
It’s not reasonable for me to feel like this but I do.
Had. Enough.

[priya38]

I spent over half an hour today standing in a cue to get inside Wilkinson's. And everyone just walking around town like they've had the life sucked out of them. Just out to do their daily slog.

I wake up most days hoping Id been dreaming all this. To then quickly realize it is indeed reality.

We're existing not living.

[Franticbutterfly]

Bit better today. I ran some errands for the first time in a while and felt more normal which helped.

[sleepyhorse]

Yes I am really struggling. It’s the uncertainty of the future. It doesn’t help that I’m trapped in a marriage I don’t want to be in and was planning my escape before all this happened!

[MotorwayDiva]

Hit the wall in week four, stopped reading the news and feel better for it. Hate feeling so down whole time

[MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously]

I've been really angry today. Fucking neighbour was burning rubbish in his garden when I had my washing out. Other neighbour's toddler has been screaming in the garden - I just don't have the tolerance today. Normally I wouldn't mind the noise.
Just feel really cooped up and stuck on pause today

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

I've lost the will to live. Turns out my ptsd wasnt cured by therapy, I'd just found the right balance of coping mechanisms. All of which I can no longer access. I dont feel safe at home and am back in the panicky cycle of needing to check the door is locked/that there is no one else in the house multiple times an hour. Not sleeping, not eating, no movitation for anything. So jumpy my 5 year old is starting to be affected by it. Terrified I'm turning into my own emotionally abusive mother. Got prescribed setraline which has done nothing apart from give me a headache. I just want this to be over.

[Bramblebear92]

I think I hit the wall 2-3 weeks ago but little has changed. It's made me realise how much I rely on the 9-5 (or longer) to structure my life. It's not that I don't have hobbies 'cos I do. I love reading, writing, walking. But I do genuinely think when you have unlimited free time it can zap the joy out of it.

Makes me wonder if I'd ever want to retire frankly. Not because retired people can't have great lives and hobbies, but because I'm shocked by how much I've struggled without the work routine!

[MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously]

Anyone else lost their concentration? Am finding it really difficult to read. I just seem to scroll Twitter or MN.

[crackofdoom]

Having made a desperate plea on Facebook for sympathy and help re: my school having announced that Reception won't be going back on 1st June (village school, rural area with low rates of infection, less than 15 kids in reception class anyway, reception and Y1 in a standalone building with its own toilets and garden FFS), I did get some good pointers for help - amongst all the "Hugs hun, you're really strong doing it on your own"s

I am autistic (with a formal diagnosis) and my ex is a keyworker, so if I add that to my poor mental health, apparently I "should" be entitled to a place for DS1 "somewhere". All kinds of leads have been given, and advocacy offered by a friend who is a health professional (who has also snapped and is going to plead for her Y1 to go back- she has always been entitled to a place, but her DP has been doing the childcare, and now he's hit a wall too).

It just feels a bit humiliating that I might have to reclassify myself as a "vulnerable" parent, when up til now I have been self reliant and managed fine - it's just that all the support structures I put in place to make managing happen have been ripped out from under me.

[mrswhiplington]

MrsHunt I am the same. I love reading but just can't seem to stick with any book at the minute. Get bored of them quickly. I know I should try harder. I am having to force myself to go for walks with DH and the dog. I have even started to go to DH's allotment just for a change of scenery. At least it's peaceful. No noisy neighbours.

I work in a school and we received 'The Plan' yesterday for starting back in June. I have been going in to help look after key workers children but yesterday nearly tipped me over when I saw how things were going to work when we go back. I am dreading it. I had to read it about four times before I took it all in. Woke up at 4 o clock this morning thinking about it.

Also worried about DH. He's on furlough but might not have any clients left when he comes off it. DD starting Uni in Sept and don't know how we are going to be able to afford to help her. Can't believe our lives have changed so much.

Constantly looking for glimmers of hope in the news. DH said the other day "There have been 230 deaths reported today" and I replied "Oh, that's not too bad". WTF. I couldn't believe I had said that. Don't really know how to feel any more. Hugs to you all.

[justanotherneighinparadise]

Had a terrible day today. Ive just shut myself away from my family as I can’t stand the fighting anymore. I’m going stir crazy and I’m starting to worry about my mental health.

[whatisforteamum]

Tbh I am normally.a.workaholic so it is amazing it has taken me 9 weeks for feel low😊3 days off normally would have me restless.Such an odd feeling though.Virtual hug for anyone suffering.

[Napqueen1234]

Oh gosh @mrswhiplington sounds awful. I’m terrified of the measures they’re bringing in I have to send mine back and I’m scared asking them to keep apart when so young and will damage their mental health and ability to interact. Can’t stop worrying about it.

[AgentCooper]

I just watched Ghost on Netflix, not having seen it in years. It made me bawl and now the floodgates have opened and I can’t stop. Tbh I think I needed a big cry, I haven’t had one in a while and I’ve been so tense.

God, I miss my mum and dad and sister. I would give anything to hop on a bus with DS and go over to my parents’ house for lunch, chat shit with my sister while DS sits on his grandad’s knee reading stories. Normal life.

[maggiso]

The last couple of days it has suddenly got to me too! I’m trying to work remotely which is really unsuitable. My IT skills are sadly lacking and I’ve had lots of connection issues - and a disabled young adult son who needs a lot of support who has become very needy and distressed . I really cannot do my job properly from home - so I’m getting worried about how behind I’m getting ( I’m shielding) and beginning to see that I will either have to resign or go back to face to face work ( and risk leaving my very dependent disabled son with no mum!

[flumposie]

For the last 2days I have felt completely suffocated. There is no longer any boundary between work and home ( teaching from home). Friday evening my Uncle died which has devastated the family as we were unable to visit him in hospital. I have literally had to go into my garden to breathe in fresh air to counteract the feeling of suffocation. I've been sleeping terribly for weeks. My uncle's death has been the thing to break me.

[Pasghetti]

I don't know why but something about this week has been harder than previous weeks. A lot of my friends are saying the same thing. In our case we have a family member dying (non-Covid related) which is adding to the general low hanging over everyone.

Still working hard to keep my spirits up and it is bloody hard work. But doable. Connecting with friends and family is helping, even if it's just by zoom. Praying the good weather returns next week as that makes everything feel more manageable.

Also wine

for everyone struggling. This too shall pass x

[PJsEveryday]

It's so easy to cry at the moment, isnt it. It's the little things that seem to make the most impact, emotionally. I had a very early night, and actually slept right through so um hoping for a better day today ( I have been getting night flushes so usually wake up half a dozen times about to spontaneously combust).

We didnt go for our walk yesterday so I'm going to try and do that this morning. We usually do it at night but maybe it will be good for my mental health to get the fresh air earlier in the day.

@Pasghetti and @flumposie

[maggiso]

Pasghetty and Flamposie, so sorry for your losses. My much loved Aunt died a week ago, - we’ve just had the funeral remotely and it’s so peculiar not being able to visit and then grieve together- I feel so guilty for what I could not do. I think all the grief is combining with guilt and helplessness with the general situation.
I think I need to go for a long walk or a brisk run (!) instead I will water the garden.

[FlowerArranger]

I would give anything to hop on a bus with DS and go over to my parents’ house for lunch, chat shit with my sister while DS sits on his grandad’s knee reading stories


Assuming that you WILL be able to do these things again soon, after the end of lockdown..... be grateful. Truly be grateful. Because there WILL come a time when they'll all be gone.

[Youngatheart00]

Yes, finding it tough. The weeks are so busy with constant zoom calls, this week I’ve really hit the wall and been exhausted this weekend. Drinking more than I should to wind down / zone out but of course that then makes me feel even worse. All I want to do is nap. And it all starts again tomorrow 😫

[Whydidyoucallhimatortoise]

Had a better morning. Had a drive out to a favourite picnic spot. Followed all the rules but still had what seemed like a relatively normal morning out.
Kids seem much better for it.

[AgentCooper]

@FlowerArranger I am grateful for the existence of my parents, thanks I was plenty grateful before all this shit kicked off. It makes my heart soar to see DS with them.

I know they won’t be around forever but they’re in their early 60s and in very good shape! My DM would not thank you for thinking she didn’t have long left when she’s got a lot more MAC lipstick and stupidly expensive Cos clothes left to buy!

I am wholeheartedly grateful for them. I just miss them horribly, physically.