Anyone else hit-the-wall?

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I have lots to be grateful for, can WFH, big house, big garden, laid back kids/DH and I had been coping well with lockdown.

Really slumped now though, finding it hard to get my head into gear for work and a bit teary and down. I'm being disciplined about work/family time and have downtime at weekends but still find myself dreading Monday morning. Oh to be able to go for a swim/see a film/have a day out.

Has anyone else found it really tough just lately? What's keeping you going?

[lilmishap]

Thank fuck for you lot! I have been a total cow bag the last couple days and today I'm honestly feeling like I've got full blown depression, I can barely be bothered to move off the sofa.

[bibbitybobbitycats]

Has anyone told people in real life how they feel? I think everyone is putting a brave face on.

[Scruffyoak]

This has been hardest week for me emotionally and no end in sight. Just so fed up and tearful. Feel so heavy hearted.

[KeepWashingThoseHands]

Thanks for the thread. It's the slap I need to realise I have it better than many, but it's also ok to be struggling with things.

I had to make people redundant this week. Listening to them cry on the phone whilst I told them is horrific and for some I know their personal circumstance. They were given as soft a landing as possible financially. I feel shit but have no right to because I didn't lose my job.

Screw COVID-19.

[TooSadToSay]

Definitely screw COVID. I'm really sorry you got that news Derxa

[SandrasAnnoyingFriend]

Same here. It's just relentless, with no real end in sight.

I should be grateful I have a job and a garden but my motivation to do anything is just slipping away day by day. I think I'd happily not wake up tomorrow.

Haven't spoken to anyone about it as everyone's suffering as well so it feels very selfish.

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

derxa I'm so sorry.

[maddiemookins16mum]

I’m bored now but am popping to the ‘big’ Tesco at 9pm as a treat.

[user764329056]

Yes, have hit the wall, live alone, lost my job, haven’t seen anyone for 8 weeks, dark thoughts

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

My DH knows I'm a bit low but I don't think he really understands, he's WFH too and today the sound of him talking on the phone today was, totally unreasonably, making my blood boil. It feels like PMT that won't go away!

[bibbitybobbitycats]

user764329056 sorry to hear that. Is there anyone you can talk to?

[dramadrama]

derxa

[BeltaneBride]

Same here. Everything to be grateful for but feeling teary. Worrying about my DC mental health and the total mess the economy is on and the suffering that people will endure through lost jobs and damaged relationships.

[bibbitybobbitycats]

GrumpiestOldWoman I know what you mean. I feel like shouting "stop breathing so loudly!" at my DH. We are getting on each other's nerves.

[Jigsawpuzzle]

We are retired but after grey and wet January, February it feels relentless.
We had to cancel flights to Thailand 🇹🇭 where daughter and family live and we don’t know when we will see them again.

[Barton10]

I felt just like that last week and it lasted a few days. This morning I got up and felt motivated for the first time in a week. It will pass.

[Forgone90]

I had this weirdly in the second week cried for no reason at all so thought I would never cope however since then I have had a much better second wind and have been fine for the last 5 weeks or so :)

[FedHimtoTigers1990]

@Nanalisa60 thank you.

@derxa I'm so sorry.

My thoughts are with everyone struggling right now.

[DelurkingAJ]

I’m being completely open with everyone about how rubbish it is. I refuse to sugar coat it. We’re both working FT with DSs (4 and 7) around our ankles. We are going to merge households with DM (which I know is strictly off) because otherwise next week we’d be claiming our key worker (we both are) childcare slots and that feels like a bigger risk. Am praying 1 June still happens. If childcare were in place at least we wouldn’t be working until 11 each night.

[PlatoAteMySnozcumber]

I thought I was dealing with everything pretty well but I definitely noticed feeling like I was slowing submerging under water. I am abroad where schools have now opened part time and it really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just having to get up, dressed and out the door really seems to have centered me again. Even if it is only a couple of mornings a week, it really has taken the edge off. Normal is a long time off, but as soon as things start edging towards normal you will already feel a ton better!

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

It's frustrating not knowing what, specifically, is the problem - how to fix it?

I'm not sure whether to book some leave and spend more time with DC/gardening but don't want to waste holiday if it's not going to help.

[Plastictattoo]

This week has been the hardest. I've cried everyday and feel like I'm failing at everything - home schooling, house work, cooking, DIY, diet, exercise. The whole shebang! Had depression before and terrified that I'm heading back that way. But seem to have lost the motivation to do the things I should be doing to combat this ie getting out the house, eating well, talking to people.
Forcing myself to leave the house tomorrow for a picnic. I know I'll feel better if I do but also hope it rains so we can just stay inside again! Oh, and now beating myself up for thinking that!
I've noticed less #creatingmemories type posts on FB so think a lot of people are feeling the same.
I'm doing a Gratitude type journal where I write down 3 positive things each evening that I have done. Dead simple stuff such as doing the shopping, talking to a friend, cooking tea etc. And plan 3 very easy goals for the following day. I find this helps to end my day on a less negative note and gives a bit of shape to the next day.
Hugs to all of you

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

user764329056 [hugs]

[chickedeee]

Can I say I have been feeling like this too.

Kids seem sad, so I am trying to be cheery.

Cannot see them getting back to school anytime soon.

Trying to work, teach, and see a future ☹️

[purplepandas]

I am in. I have royally lost it today. Like tons of us, working FT alongside home schooling kids and a husband working out of the house. Weekends are the same minus home schooling. I have to work to catch up so zero days off. Averaging 6am or ealrier starts every day incl weekends. I am so done. I just needed someone to listen today and my parents from a distance did the opposite. Apparently my fault for not either (1) going to GP to sign myself off (have considered but would dump colleagues and others in it, not that simple, affect career and promotion app in) or (2) letting them in the house to mind the kids. Uhm, (2) is illegal and stupid but apparently I am the stupid one. I am told everyone is doing this, I really do not think they are.

It all can fuck off. And now I feel a bit better.

and for all.