Anyone else hit-the-wall?

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I have lots to be grateful for, can WFH, big house, big garden, laid back kids/DH and I had been coping well with lockdown.

Really slumped now though, finding it hard to get my head into gear for work and a bit teary and down. I'm being disciplined about work/family time and have downtime at weekends but still find myself dreading Monday morning. Oh to be able to go for a swim/see a film/have a day out.

Has anyone else found it really tough just lately? What's keeping you going?

[IsAnybodyListening]

Yep.

I actually nearly wrote an AIBU last night, but realised how absurd I sounded. Spent a solid 30 mins sobbing over a battered fish. Kid you not. Dp didn't know what to do with me. He got me tissue, and actually tried to cook me another fish. The more he went on, the more I sobbed. I even sobbed something about pickled onions at one point making no sense.

Like you OP. We are both WFH, garden to sit in, live in the country so plenty of walks. We are very lucky in that our pay is the same, so no financial worries.

But. It's hard. Even with my family around me I feel lonely. I am keeping the normality of bathing and doing my make-up in the morning, so I feel like 'me'. I am now trying to work up to hoovering the downstairs, cooking a spag bol, and chasing DS15 re-school work, with out getting a mouthful ''For gods sake Mum. Stop asking me the same questions'.

What I am actually doing now, is hiding in the conservatory with a glass of wine and a fag out of the back door wondering if my work phone just went off.

I sympathise.

[IsAnybodyListening]

Oh. I forgot to add. also received an email from my work benefit/pension people today asking if I die in service, do I want to make sure the right % of my death pay-out goes to the right people.

Fab.

[Aveisenim]

Me. I felt awful the other day. I miss going to hoome ed groups, having friends over, going to coffee shops with DC and playing games together... This really sucks and eve if lockdown is lifted I still have another month of being in self-isolation because of being in a vulnerable group :(

[winterisstillcoming]

Same here. I'm finding it difficult but then don't fancy going back to the rat run. I'm in a weird kind of limbo. I think I'm fed up of the sameness of it all.

[hazelnutlatte]

I'm feeling just the same, I was doing ok until the last few days. I think it was the glimmer of hope that schools were going back on 1st June (I have a reception child) and now the teaching unions are so opposed to the idea that it looks like it might not be happening after all. I've been struggling so much to cope with work and homeschooling 2 dc and I just want there to be an end in sight!
I'm really really busy at work, and my job is essential to the covid response (clinical research). I'm doing as much as I can from home but it's just a nightmare, I'm working 5 days a week when I usually only work 3, I'm trying to have sensitive conversations with patients while my 4 year old screams in the background, my 8 year old doesn't understand any of her school work and I don't have time to explain it, and they are constantly fighting with each other! My DH works full time and can't work from home. He is the main wage earner and his company won't furlough as they are busy so he's no help.
I know we are luckier than many people, no money worries and we have a decent sized garden, but I just want something to relieve the pressure! The rest of our extended family are all chilling at home with very little to do and I'm so jealous of them, even though I know that their lives are far from normal too.

[FedHimtoTigers1990]

Yes, I've been WFH since lockdown started but got called into work today and I've been furloughed. The business isn't looking good and talk of redundancies. (Oil and Gas) i was enjoying WFH and had something to get up for everyday. Now what?

I've just locked myself away my room as i can't stop crying. I love my job.

[MarriedToABellend]

Yes. My mood has absurdly plummeted this week.
I was doing ok considering thecshit I've been through in the past 8 weeks. I suppose i eas goong to crack at some point. I tjink that point is now.

I'm full of rage tio. Ive lots of reasons to be angry but i wish i wasnt so nasty.

[Nanalisa60]

I think it’s because we don’t really have any thing to look forward to this year, no music festivals, no weddings, no holidays no birthday surprises just empty diary’s.

It’s all just PANTS

[Wfhwithnoschool]

@derxa I’m so sorry.

[Nanalisa60]

FedHimtoTigers1990

I’m so sorry to hear about your job, oil and gas has been hit so hard the oil price is just so low.

I really don’t think this will be the only industry that will suffer.

[thenightsky]

Yep. Me too. I keep locking myself in the en suite for a little weep. It takes me longer and longer to get the work laptop turned on and my heart sinks at the thought of all the work emails I'm going to have to face. I'm now finding I don't start work until 3pm.

I was ok when I was getting my outdoor exercise, but now I've knackered my left knee and can barely walk, never mind run the 3 miles I was doing. I've also done some serious damage to my left shoulder which now has barely any range of movement, stops me sleeping, and gives me pins and needles in my hand and over my shoulder blade. I am desperate to get to a physiotherapist.

[happystory]

So sorry derxa, that's truly crap

[derxa]

Wfhwithnoschool Thanks. It's a bit of a bugger. I'd just love a hug.

[derxa]

So sorry derxa, that's truly crap
Thanks but probably the wrong thread to post on.

[KeepWashingThoseHands]

Me. Finding it relentless. The not going out isn't bothering me so much.

Both of us WFH full-time and busier than usual for different reasons. Also homeschooling. Starting actual work at 7am and finishing late evening as do a lot of work with people on US time zone. Breaks during the day to homeschool and do exercise/outdoors things with DC but it's like a chore I have to tick off rather than enjoying it and rushing to the next thing. Whilst work is flexible and I'm a senior manager, the workload is brutal. Weekends are better, but then catching up on all the usual chores and some work to catch up. Whilst being at home is on to 'pop the washing on', everyone being home is also endless cooking and cleaning.

Relentless.

[KingOfDogShite]

I’m struggling too tho shouldn’t be as are an awful lot more fortunate than some, for the same reasons as you op. I’ve had my 40th birthday and my 10 year wedding anniversary over the last few weeks which has been shit as we had lots of celebrating planned.

The garden centres opening have cheered me up a bit but I just can’t wait to get back to normal and have some days & nights out!

[KnobChops]

Me too. I’ve been commuting and working on nhs shop floor throughout so at least have company. Feel terrible for DD who is year 10 and facing months off school, not seeing her friends and GCSEs next year. DH has been working and commuting too so poor DD on her own a fair bit. Our holiday is cancelled so nothing to fucking look forward to. I’m sick of sitting in the garden or doing the same old walk round the block.
I resent commuting on overcrowded, infrequent tubes and the risk and time wasting caused. I resent the hospital I work for which has been bloody ungrateful and demanding during this pandemic. I resent all the dementors on mumsnet sitting at home on pay whinging about the risks of their husbands going back to work, schools going back, while the rest of us on low pay take risks in hospitals, supermarkets, transport etc to provide for them. At the end of it we’re all going to be paying for this in several ways for years, it needs to end as quickly as possible, we’ve totally lost the ability to manage risk. But, you know, I can look forward to another pay freeze to thank us for putting ourselves out.
Also. I have really shit hair.

[FuckYouCovid]

I don't know how you are all doing it ! Hats off to anyone doing all this with young children!

[Lostnameperson]

Working from home and busier than ever. Wouldn’t say I’d hit a wall, but the “you can only do what you can do” mantra is wearing thin . I feel like I’m working longer hours but not achieving very much in any areas (work/parenting/teaching).
Feels like less time than ever for hobbies etc!...

[BriefDisaster]

Yes and I've no reason really. Safe jobs, healthy family, outside space etc.

But I am just done I keep ranting to DH about how ridiculous it is all becoming. To my shame I have said some awful things. Being pre menstrual isn't helping.

Work is really busy too, the toddler is more clingy by the day and the 6 year old is losing motivation with homeschool and just wants screen time all day.

If I coukd just cry I think I would feel better but I can't I am just angry, full of utter rage.

[NotAnotherUserNumber]

I am going insane.

I haven’t been outside my small flat since the end of February aside from two trips to the hospital. I just want to see some grass or feel the wind, but there is basically no chance of me being able to go out and stay sufficient distance from people (I live on a very busy main road in central London) and I am immunocompromised and vulnerable.

I have never been more desperately envious of anyone with a garden.

[LostandLockeddown]

@NotAnotherUserNumber you poor thing. I'm not surprised you're going crazy.

[bibbitybobbitycats]

Oh can I join in?

No kids here (and as pp said, you have my immense admiration if you have them) just me and DH who is disabled, I am his carer. We are lucky in that income etc not affected and we have a house and garden.

I try to tell myself that we are fortunate, but am finding it so hard some days. I have to FORCE myself to do anything. DH seems to have retreated into himself a bit. I think deep down he is scared of getting the virus (he is vulnerable but not in the shielding group). We are both drinking more than usual which needs to stop!

I can't believe how much I took for granted before this all came along.

[bibbitybobbitycats]

derxa I am so sorry.

[NotAnotherUserNumber]

@LostandLockeddown

Thank you. I guess we just have to take each day is it comes. Someday this will finally be over.