Anyone else hit-the-wall?

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I have lots to be grateful for, can WFH, big house, big garden, laid back kids/DH and I had been coping well with lockdown.

Really slumped now though, finding it hard to get my head into gear for work and a bit teary and down. I'm being disciplined about work/family time and have downtime at weekends but still find myself dreading Monday morning. Oh to be able to go for a swim/see a film/have a day out.

Has anyone else found it really tough just lately? What's keeping you going?

[lightlypoached]

Have you heard the expression the 'CoronaCoaster'? Like the roller coaster but virus-y. I think it's common for people to feel this, just not everyone talks about it or acknowledges it.

Have a good cry, get hugs if you can (and a weighted blanket if you can't). It should pass.

I hope you feel better soon

[PJsEveryday]

So many people seem to have hit the wall this week. I have too. Weve been isolating so the fear of catching CV has lessened a lot but I have health anxiety and this week has seen same symptoms flare up and a new one. I have no idea if it's my anxiety that is causing these weird sensations or if these is something going on but I'm not going to the doctors. I would usually go for a long walk on the nature park but apparently its heaving with people. So not going to do that and then have to worry about catching CV all over again. So I end up having a shit sleep because I worry I'm going to have a stroke in the middle if the night or cant sleep because I worry I've got something degenerative. I dont google any more though, that's a start

DS is a resistant child, to everything, and has been a nightmare with getting him to do school work. I've let him get more xbox as I dont have the mental strength to deal with his resistance. But too much xbox affects his personality. DH stressed WFH, doing more work than ever, with people being furloughed. Stressed with me and DD. It's really been an unhappy house this past week.

It will pass, we,all all ger over our slump, feel better but there might be another brick wall in a couple of months. We just have to do what we can to soothe ourselves while we are feeling like this.

Hope everyone feels a bit better today

[Lindy2]

It's hard. I have started to feel the slump too. It just all feels so endless at the moment.

I've managed to get a bit more enthusiasm by arranging a few treats or something different. All within lockdown rules.

We've done some nice family walks - I find these do really help and we are lucky to have some nice walking areas nearby. Going somewhere new has helped it feel a bit different. We've also done some bike rides which is completely new for us.

We have a takeaways on Friday night. Not the same as a meal out but we all look forward to it.

The kids' trampoline broke a few weeks ago. We've just managed to get them a new much better and bigger one. They have been playing out there together for ages and actually having fun without fighting.

The paddling pool will go up as soon as the warm weather returns.

I find things like this help otherwise it's just work, screentime , tv (all usually in separate rooms) and a half hearted walk around the block that the kids don't want to do.

[Tartan333]

Sorry to hear that people are struggling but it's nice to not feel so alone. I am struggling, have been throughout lockdown and prior to it too as I could see what was coming. I have an anxiety disorder and have had bouts of depression in the past.

My coping strategies are routine, going out and about, meeting friends on a regular basis (2 to 3 times per week) and seeing my parents. None of this is possible now.
Prior to lockdown my mental health would start to tip even if I spent more than one day in the house.
I am working from home part time but dh is furloughed in a new job so worried about the security of that as his industry is suffering. We have 3 dcs so I am kept busy but it's exhausting, they are missing school and friends so much and my teenager is struggling mentally.

I feel that my dh doesn't understand, he's a very positive, optimistic person and doesn't think too far ahead so although he is getting a bit fed up and bored, that's the extent of it.

It is all so awful for everyone in different ways. I am considering going on anti depressants again. I just want to see glimmers of hope and the phrase "the new normal" makes me want to cry.

Sorry that ended up being longer than anticipated!

[JumpingAtJackdaws]

Yes lethargy has kicked in here too. For the first few weeks I was religiously exercising, dancing, baking, sewing, gardening. Now I'm sat in bed trawling the internet before I get on with the day's business of eating my own weight in chocolate and crisps.

[Joan0fSarc]

Way back in March when all this was unfolding and everything was so uncertain I was a bit of a mess for a week or two. Then lockdown began and I was surprisingly calm. DH started wfh and we got into a pleasant routine, all was well. Last week however I very suddenly hit that wall and hard.

Someone I know (fit, well man in his 30s) died last Saturday after being in ICU on a ventilator for a month. He had two young DDs and a wife - they only got married at Christmas. I think that was the catalyst for me. Thinking about what his wife must be going through, and how random and uncontrollable all this is, no matter what precautions you take. Then there's been all the talk this week of possibly no vaccine, ever, and that it will be many years before life is any semblance of normal again.

I live in a fourth floor flat, no garden or outside space. Neither me nor DH drive so even with the new guidelines we can't go further than a few miles walking for our exercise. The same local urban roads every single day. I'm finding it so hard to deal with the idea that for possibly months all I'm going to see is the inside of my local Tesco twice a week and the same 3 or 4 roads. I'm higher risk (not shielding but vulnerable) so public transport is not something I'd feel comfortable using, even if we're 'allowed' to at any point soon. So that's it, for the foreseeable future.

I keep looking at old holiday photos and doing 'virtual tours' of my favourite places on Google maps and telling myself we will get back there eventually. But it seems so far away.

I'm really, really struggling.

[cologne4711]

I felt really depressed last night, because DS's college emailed to say they won't be reopening this academic year except for some face to face 1 2 1s in early July. And said there will still be exams, despite the fact my ds has had no teaching in one of his subjects since 20 March. And because there's an impasse in the Brexit talks which means we're probably heading for even more disruption after Christmas. And because DH said it appeared that Sainsburys had changed its rules to allow fewer people into its stores which means longer queues but they didn't have quite a lot of the things we wanted.

However, this morning I feel a bit better. Am going to invest in a garden pod to use as a home office and a second broadband line, and see if I can persuade ds to do an online course in his third subject over May half term to try to catch up a bit.

I feel quite self-indulgent moaning really. We don't have a mortgage, we both still have work, we live in a nice area with a garden and we haven't got small children and my mum is very self-reliant and seems to be coping well so I don't have to worry about her too much. But I really feel for ds, he'd just made some friends after never finding his "tribe" at secondary school and now he can't see them for six months.

[Franticbutterfly]

I did this week. I can't manage to keep the children on task and have found myself nagging and having a go at them because of it. My year 7 is behind, and seems to be getting very down and withdrawn. She doesn’t want to contact her friends or leave the house, the lockdown is really taking its toll now.

So, I have now decided (and have emailed their teachers to the effect) that they'll just be doing English, maths and science. All three of them are being sent so much work from so many sources, they cannot see the wood for the trees and we are all getting overwhelmed.

I feel that my job at the present time should be preserving the mental and physical health of my children, I do not wish my children or myself to be part of the pandemic of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression that is coming our way once this is all over.

I would like to see the children all go back ASAP or not, and they all repeat the year. Then I could focus on helping my children through this difficult time and maintain good relationships with them all.

[Jeffersona]

What's getting to me is exercise. I suffer with anxiety anyway but a good walk helps clear my head and is a key medication for me.

Now, I go out for a walk and spend the whole time dancing around people as you can't go near anyone. I come back from a walk feeling more stressed than I was.

[BunsyGirl]

Yes, my youngest DS is really struggling and his mental health is deteriorating by the day. I am terrified about how he will react when he goes back to school as we had a term and a half of school refusal last year which had to be resolved via counselling. But he isn’t coping with homeschooling which has caused the deterioration in his mental state, so I now feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[Eebahgumlass]

Same - also know that we are lucky with a garden and still have an income. But feel genuine fear for the future and the desert that life has become with so many struggling . Also feel totally powerless - suddenly this is the new normal and social distancing is a semi permanent state until a vaccine that may never come.. And there is nothing we can do. Bleak.

[Eebahgumlass]

@Franticbutterfly I also have a year 7 who is becoming withdrawn and had a similar discussion with school. Massive overwhelm with work flying in from all directions.

[Joan0fSarc]

@Eebahgumlass yes. Bleak is exactly how it feels. I'm usually an optimistic type of person but at the moment I'm really struggling to find much to be optimistic about.

[bibbitybobbitycats]

Joan0fSarc me too. I keep thinking about our lovely local not-for-profit leisure centre, our town centre which has lots of small independent shops, how will any of this survive?

[bibbitybobbitycats]

Jeffersona have you tried going out either very early in the morning or in the evening? These are quiet times here and so less stressful.

[Joan0fSarc]

@bibbitybobbitycats lots of the lovely independent cafes and bars near me, and the ones we love visiting when we go to our nearby coast and villages, have already said they won't be reopening after lockdown. So many people have lost their jobs and livelihoods and the shops and businesses that in part make those places a joy to visit will be no more. Already I can see the hearts ripped out of communities and they'll be like ghost towns when this is over, if it ever is.

Just 9 weeks today ago me and DH were at our favourite cocktail place in town. It's one of the places that won't be reopening so we'll never go again, and while we were sitting there having a lovely evening we had no idea it'd be the last time. We've been going there for over a decade.

It's just little things like that, which all add up to be huge taken together.

[bibbitybobbitycats]

Joan0fSarc yes, so many small losses add up to one huge blow to our communities.

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

@Joan I think you're right - lots of relatively small challenges/inconveniences/disappointments eventually amount to what feels like a crushing weight.

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

How has everyone got on today?

[Whydidyoucallhimatortoise]

I cried fro most of the morning. I’m really struggling. Thinking of phoning drs on Monday to see if ADs might help (never taken them before)
I’m drinking far too much

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

tortoise hugs

[PJsEveryday]

Pretty low and teary most if the day. Deliberating on whether to ask Drs for ADs. Been on and off them all my fault life and its currentlyc18 month since I last came off them. I was starting to feel low at the beginning of the year but my thoughts are so angry them I'm in despair.

My issue is that I take 2 blood pressure meds and i dont know how they work with ADs. I dont want to go to the drs to get my BP taken. I might phone on monday to talk about it.

Watched the last episode ever of Schitts Creek - I totally sobbed. Doubt I would have do e that 3 months ago.

Also drinking g every night .

How are you today @GrumpiestOldWoman?

[Whydidyoucallhimatortoise]

Thank you grumpiest
Another (first world, privileged, selfish) issue is that things that make life bearable at the moment-good food and alcohol are also making me put on weight that I worked hard last year to lose which makes me more miserable.
I am running as much as I can but it doesn’t completely mitigate it!

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I'm a bit better thanks PJs I think it helps not supposedly putting in a full day's work, alot less pressure at the weekend.

I just made supper though and DH didn't like it so I'm back to being flat and teary. I'm a grown woman, I should not be getting upset because I've not been thanked for cooking a meal FFS, but here I am.

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

I was the same, I was coping in part by eating and drinking excessively and then I stopped because I'd piled on 10 lbs so now I'm missing a 'crutch'. I contemplated taking up smoking again but given coronavirus is a respiratory virus that didn't seem too clever.