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Original poster

Boris has more waffle than Bird's Eye...

412 replies

Smithtylater · 11/05/2020 19:23

Why can't he just answer a question straight?
And also if you have children did he just suggest you tell your employer and stay home? That is not going to go down well!

OP posts:
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7
JamieLeeCurtains · 11/05/2020 21:00

You absolutely massive tit Grin

FliesandPies · 11/05/2020 21:01

He is no buffoon, but he does go round the houses with his responses, partly I'd say because he sees the overall picture and tries to paint that, rather than give a concise answer

That's definitely not what's happening. He's just chucking out words, attempting to sound authoritative, desperately trying to avoid saying anything he can be held to. He hasn't got a concise answer to give, only lies and blether.

But don't say he is not intelligent or doesn't understand the situation.

Now THAT is concise - an exact summing up of the problem with him.

BlackberryCane · 11/05/2020 21:02

It's shocking you can't read and understand it.

Are you addressing his Cabinet? Because I'm not sure they're all on this thread.

pussycatinboots · 11/05/2020 21:06

It's a pity Boris didn't read it first or get someone to read it to him

Waspnest · 11/05/2020 21:07

He does waffle a lot which makes me switch off mentally after a while. Thank god he had CW and PV with him. I prefer it when Matt Hancock does the briefings.

goose1964 · 11/05/2020 21:08

Honestly I don't know what these people mean by needing childcare, surely one just leaves them with Nanny? That's what my brain imagines as Boris' thoughts on that matter.

tootyfruitypickle · 11/05/2020 21:08

The report is waffle. It gives no detail or guidance about anything at all.

tootyfruitypickle · 11/05/2020 21:09

I imagine Boris isn’t used to having to consider childcare, as the man in the house. He probably doesn’t even pick up his own pants .

Roussette · 11/05/2020 21:10

mummy are you Pritti Patel or something?

It's the mixed messages, the contradictions, the waffle and bluster, the not answering questions properly.

Stay alert is the Government's way of changing the story. Of not framing the Government as in charge (stay at home) but pushing the responsibility onto us (good in some ways) so that when the numbers rise... which they will.... the Government can step back because their managing of it is not working, it will be our fault because we haven't stayed alert or controlled the virus.

We're all in the same boat, we should all be working together with the Govt enabling us to do that and protect each other.
'Stay alert' and 'control the virus' to me is the Govt's way of stepping back for herd immunity, and because of mismanagement, because they know their backs are against the wall.
Wear a mask? Yeah... can't get hold of them for love nor money. BoJo says to wrap a scarf round you then. In other countries, they are given to you FREE.
In Spain they knock at doors giving them to you.
The Govt is pushing the responsibility onto us without giving us the tools and information to protect ourselves.

Violetparis · 11/05/2020 21:11

I'm sure he was winging it when he said that people should report their workplace if it's not 'Covid Secure', who do they report it too ? Is there a new team in government to deal with complaints ? Will work places be closed down if they are not 'Covid Secure' whatever that means ?

chomalungma · 11/05/2020 21:12

The guidance for employers comes out soon according to the report. But employers should use the guidance that is already out according to Boris, Because people are already going to work under the old guidelines

But now they should go to work if they can''t work from home.

So I am not sure what's really changed work wise from last week this Wednesday?

PMQs will be fascinating again this week

TinySleepThief · 11/05/2020 21:12

I imagine Boris isn’t used to having to consider childcare

This ^. I presume he's never had to factor his kids into anything hes ever done work wise in his entire life.

It simply doesn't occur to him that if a women rang up her boss and said she couldn't work due to childcare issues and there being no school that it is a real possibility she may be told not to come back to said job.

HavenDilemma · 11/05/2020 21:13

I think I’ve worked it out...

  • 4 year olds can go to school but university students who have paid for their tuition and the accommodation that they aren’t living in, can’t go back to university.

  • I can go to school with many 4 year olds that I’m not related to but can’t see one 4 year old that I am related to.

  • I can sit in a park, but not tomorrow or Tuesday but by Wednesday that’ll be fine.

  • I can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe but not two people so if I know two people from another household I have to pick my favourite. Hopefully, I’m also their favourite person from my household or this could be awkward. But possibly I’m not. In fact, thinking about it, I definitely wouldn’t be. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one I choose anyway so you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter - unless two people would restrict my eyeline too much and prevent me from being alert.

  • I can work all day with my colleagues but I can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.

  • I can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day felt like I was some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.

  • I can drive to other destinations although which destinations is unclear. I was supposed to be in Brighton this weekend. Can I drive there? It’s hundreds of miles away but no one has said that’s wrong.

  • The buses are still running past my house but I shouldn’t get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers aren’t doing nothing.

  • It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air... but not yet. It’s too soon. And not ever if you’re coming from France because... well, I don’t do know why, actually. Because the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe.

  • Our youngest children go back to school first because... they are notoriously good at not touching things they shouldn’t, maintain personal space at all times and never randomly lick you.

  • We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a five point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you’d like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self isolate but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.

  • The slogan isn’t stay at home any more.So we don’t have to say at home. Except we do. Unless we can’t. In which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So don’t do that.

Don’t forget...

Stay alert... which Robert Jenrick has explained actually means Stay home as much as possible. Obviously.

Control the virus. Well, I can’t even control my dogs and I can actually see them. Plus I know a bit about dogs and very little about controlling viruses.

Save lives. Always preferable to not saving lives, I’d say, so I’ll try my best with that
one, although hopefully I don’t need telling to do that. I know I’m bragging now but not NOT saving lives is something I do every day.

So there you are. If you’re the weirdo wanting unlimited exercise then enjoy. But not until Wednesday. Obviously.

PS When can Year 7 go back to school? Not even asking for a friend!

chomalungma · 11/05/2020 21:15

It simply doesn't occur to him that if a women rang up her boss and said she couldn't work due to childcare issues and there being no school that it is a real possibility she may be told not to come back to said job

I wonder who is advising him - and the experience they have in these matters?

Would someone in Cabinet just pipe up and mention it?

Original poster
Smithtylater · 11/05/2020 21:16

He is very out of touch with the real lives most of the UK live! Childcare, making sure we can eat and pay the bills and not lose our homes are what lots of people are most concerned about! Not that we can now exercise more!
The way he stuttered about that childcare question, no sympathy, no clarity and no realism!

OP posts:
pussycatinboots · 11/05/2020 21:16

violet as a former Local Govt employee, I would guess my old department - we always got handed all the shit jobs!

Ontheboardwalk · 11/05/2020 21:16

Surely basic meeting etiquette when asked abdirect questions is to end with 'does that answer your question?' for everyone who has asked a question today on the update or in parliament the answer must surely have been no!

Devlesko · 11/05/2020 21:17

Academic idiot. Intelligence is no good if you don't have an ounce of common sense.
Can he do the job? No.

Violetparis · 11/05/2020 21:18

You absolutely massive tit BlackberryCane that made me really laugh Grin

Original poster
Smithtylater · 11/05/2020 21:21

@havendilemma omg its actally absurd when you see it written in black and white like that...

OP posts:
DannyDonut · 11/05/2020 21:22

HavenDilema you should’ve been on the podium this evening 👏

mummmy2017 · 11/05/2020 21:22

It says they will relax things a bit at a time and if the Virus numbers remain low introduce more interaction.
So if after two weeks of letting people enjoy the sunshine while remembering to keep 2 meters apart there are no hotspots, another layer of freedoms will be added.
So now let's be honest, how willing are you to chance getting the virus.

TinySleepThief · 11/05/2020 21:23

HavenDilemma that pretty much sums up the lunacy of the situation. It sounds like something the bloody mad hatter would say not advice from a government in a flaming global pandemic.

MarshaBradyo · 11/05/2020 21:24

Haven haha v good

Changeyname40 · 11/05/2020 21:28

He comes across as very out of touch and a sycophant.

Anyone else wish we had Jacinda Ardhern (sp?)