Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

Welcome wfh

Pull up a chair

So glad it’s Friday ...

Thank you @pitterpatterrain - I think I killed the thread.

Hi everyone,
When do we hear about the an planned meeting between the government and the Unions which took place today?

Congratulations to all for making it over the Friday finish line! How are we all spending our weekends? I'm just feeding DD to sleep, then we're splashing out with plans to do some more work on our laptops over dinner al desko, then a cheeky de-pigsty of the house with our last vestiges of energy – treat ourselves! – in anticipation of a bit more work this weekend. Think for Saturday night – date night! – we'll go craaaazy and sack off the work and the housework and stare at our phones in silence hoping someone's magically found a safe way for nurseries to re-open, then go to bed at 9pm.

It's like Sunday night blues but ALL THE TIME.

Made it to friday! I’m utterly shattered

I actually don’t work Fridays so planned to get the kids to catch up on school work. But it was sunny and I have ignored them
all week so we just played in the garden.

Well done everyone. Two days to breathe

I don't work Fridays either...only I do during Covid apparently because the stuff that needs done won't complete itself and I don't want to dump it on a colleague who will also be snowed under.

Kids keep saying 'but it's your day off mummy!' so feel like crap and it is supposed to be the day DH catches up on all his work but he is having to take time of for me to do calls....argh!

Giant bar of glaxy with my name on it in the fridge right now but the toddler won't go to sleep, she needs to be on the go all day to be tired enough and right now we can't manage that.

Fun times.

Haha hahaha @burritofan you have made me laugh. No small feet this week!

*feat godammit

How is everyone doing?

I had my first productive day for about a fortnight yesterday as DH was home and wasn’t trying to work himself. Felt so good to get some work done.

@burritofan, sounds like my weekend! I am working now as the only time to get quiet and get stuff done. It's just so relentless.

And we did no school work yesterday. And we ordered pizza. I am sliding into a bad place and I know it. People are giving me crazy deadlines at work. I keep pushing back but even having to bloody email to say that the deadline is not achieveable is bloody work.

I had a pretty shit week. I lost count of the amount of times my children asked me to play, were sent away and ended up dead-eyed in front of their ipads. I can't continue like this. I wasn't working yesterday so we baked, went for a walk and played football in the park. I'm trying to make my non-working days as fun as possible but I'm knackered and really want to sit on my own in a dark room.

Agree so much with this thread. It's so hard. Mine are 2 and 4 and can't just be left to it for long periods. I am beating myself up about my work and my parenting (housework etc has all just gone to shit). I feel so guilty for the excessive screen use but can't manage my workload any other way (and that's part time public sector). Everyone I know is in the same boat and it is worrying. I'm also in Scotland where we have not really had any restrictions lifted yet and we're still not able to do much, even drive to a completely deserted local beach for a walk

I think I've found my people....!

I work 28 hours as an in house lawyer for a civil service department. It's supposed to be over 4 days but I'm having to do it over 5 days as I can't work full days with an 8 and 6 year old. It was never 28 hours anyway.... you know how it goes in a professional role.

DH works out of the house every morning, coming home at lunchtime to finish on the laptop in the afternoon. I'm starting at 6am to get two hours in before taking a few hours off to home school. I'm then back with the endless round of video calls.

It's utterly exhausting and I feel so guilty about the limited amount of attention the DC get.

My boss's boss (male, no DCs) emailed my boss mid-week and said 'is Raggie ok? She seemed very quiet and down today'. My boss (youngest DC is 15) had to remind him of my current circumstances and the fact I'm unlikely to be turning cartwheels everyday.

I'm grateful to have a job. I'm grateful my DCs are getting through the schoolwork. I just can't help but reflect on the differences in circumstances between me and other mums I know.

I feel as though all I do is work, home school and complain. Thank goodness it is the weekend and I can have some fun with my DCs.

@FinallySleeping, 2 and 4 are really tough ages for this. At least I can send mine out in the garden unsupervised.

Mine are 2 and 4 as well so I'm with you there. I'm really worried about one of them seriously hurting themselves as a result of my piss poor supervision.

I have managed (I think) to find a temp nanny who can visit for a few hours at a time. She is a nursery worker who isn’t at nursery atm. Even if for 8 hours over the week will be a massive help. I was thinking of working within eyeshot and not asking her to take DS out. Then I think the risk of someone new is fairly minimal as of course I don’t know her. I will ask for ID and her DBS check.

Thank you @RaggieDolls

I am also an in-house civil service lawyer During the week I sent a message saying I couldn't manage one of the afternoon video calls that day and it was fine, the sky did not fall in and actually I felt so liberated. It wasn't essential for me to attend, and I knew I wouldn't have much to add so I just refused to participate in the presentee-ism. Let those without childcare responsibilities spend their days in endless meetings! It's definitely helped me slim down what I deem essential, chargeable work.

@Oysterbabe solidarity with your 2 and 4 year old! They are absolutely lovely at this age but it is hard to enjoy them. My 4 year old in particular I am finding hard, without his friends, activities, education and even his parents' attention it's like he has lost his zest for life and it is heartbreaking. Hoping for a nice day today as a family (whilst also catching up on all housework, laundry, admin, shopping etc...)

Oh and I'm a civil lawyer too
But for a firm, not in house. We're obviously a struggling group.

@TriangleBingoBongo, that's a good idea. It will make a big difference. Can you get a word of mouth recommendation via someone with children at the nursery where she works? It might help with reassurance along with DBS and ID?

@FinallySleeping I'm doing better with keeping mornings as free as possible. It was just crazy to begin with as we had so many contingencies to get in place and there were twice daily SLG meetings. There have been a few things I've said 'no' to, especially where they are purely operational decisions and thankfully they've calmed down on the 'twice daily' routine.

My employer has allowed me to make myself unavailable for work at the moment because I have a son with Autism and was on verge of nervous breakdown trying to WFH on bloody zoom and do complicated work. I am so grateful.

@Runbikeswim that's good although it must be incredibly hard without his usual support services in place.

One great(?) thing about MN is that it is chocked full of lawyers

@Oysterbabe! What a coincidence. I think we are a group where work has increased for many of us as a result of Covid. I should add that the majority of my guilt is mum guilt for not giving my children the attention they deserve but there's still a healthy dose of work guilt in there too.

I said to a colleague in the week it's as though there is a daily question of 'would you like to be a bad employee, a bad parent or a combination of the two today'? Sigh.

Anyway, determined to enjoy the weekend and ignore the laptop.