Is it just me, or is this working from home with children completely unsustainable?

[Lovemyphone]

I'm terrified that the schools will remain closed until September.

I'm wfh with two dc. Youngest is 4, as the weeks go by it's becoming more and more unbearable and I can't do it much longer. I'm on my own because dh is still out at work. My employer have been pretty good and taken a 'just do what you can when you can' approach. But the work is picking up again, at the same time the dc are climbing the walls now.

I can't even make a phone call or do an online meeting without constant "mummyyy", or one of them hurting themselves, or asking for snacks, or trashing the house.

Surely it's neglect to essentially leave your children unsupervised for 7-8 hours a day? Which is essentially what you're expected to do.

Is anyone else in this position and just cannot possibly see how this can go on?

My DS1 is in YR so I am relieved about him potentially going back to school in 3 weeks time. We will still have DS2 (2yo) at home but things might feel more manageable if we don't have homeschooling to worry about too. Feel like I'm in the minority though and that I might be ripped to shreds for "putting my child in danger" by choosing to send him back. We parents really cannot win.

Jassy - is that true normally? That shouldn’t be the case when you take holidays. What jobs are you doing? Seems to me like some of these employers are taking the piss.

That's pretty normal no? There is only me that does my job, so if I take a day off there's no one to delegate to. Even this week with a bank holiday felt even more stressful than usual because there were only 4 days to get everything done.

The announcement today was pretty bland - even for those year groups mentioned to return to school no guarantees and no indication if part time or full time either. So hard to plan still.

Downing St briefed the lobby after the very flannelly statement that nurseries were also included in the ‘from 1 June if possible’ tranche, so fingers crossed. Detail on how it will work tomorrow...

I will have two gutted children - eldest that youngest will be going back before he is, and youngest unhappy that his big brother will get to stay home longer!

Something has to give soon and in all likelihood that something will be "women's careers". I want to find a bat and drop-kick it into the fucking sun

OMG, THIS. Best post on the thread. (Although I think it's the human beings responsible for this mess who should be drop-kicked into the sun, rather than poor old bats which, to be fair, never wanted to be put in the live-animal markets or have their habitats invaded).

I am praying nurseries do return on 1st June and that my employers, who are a shower of cunts, don't try and pointlessly force me into the office when I can easily work from home.
I can almost imagine how peaceful it will be.

Was hoping for some certainty this morning but feel even more stressed. 1 of my DC won't be able to go back to school and they are the one that genuinely needs it most. It's not going to help with the childcare aspect as we'll now be doing the school run during our carved out off hours for homeschooling as well as trying to educate the remaining child at home, who won't have siblings to play with anymore.

I also suspect my children's school won't be able to take that many children full time (due to space/staff - not blaming the school at all, I know the logistics of this will be impossible and doing this in as space a way as possibleis obviously important) so what will they do?

I had really hoped that it would be all kids back but in groups. Eg surname A-F in for two weeks then rotate group G-M and on. This seemed the most logical in terms of cleaning buildings, distancing and ensuring that all the kids are seen by a teacher.

*safe a way as possible

I hope it’s 1st June. DS has been up since 4am and just wants cuddles. I’ll be finding work very difficult today.

Just joining to agree it is unsustainable. I am not managing as work expects FT, school expects a full bloody day it feels like. FFS, I literally cannot do any more and have worked all the early mornings since last Sunday plus more.

I have said to DH I can do this till August. That’s my limit. I’m going to quit at that point.

I am on project work as well, and no one will cover while I'm off. A two week holiday is almost impossible because I can't pass over much and it just builds up. I usually take my laptop and answer urgent queries as they come in, once a day.

None of mine are in the school years going back, so looks like we are balls to the wall for another 4 months...

I actually sobbed yesterday. I live in wales but just 3 miles from the English border. DD is 11 yr 6 and DS is 8 yr 3. I am WFH and so is DH. It has been utterly shit. DD is desperate to go back to primary to say goodbye and get ready for high school. DS is more of a worry. He won't engage with work, spends hrs gaming whilst we have to work and is borderline depressed. He used to play football 6 days a week. He's lost his fitness and put in weight. He's told me many times that he hates himself and twice said he wants to die.

I was holding on that maybe some changes would come in June then the welsh govt tell us no. I am lost. I don't know what to do anymore.

I am sorry to hear that @MrsArchchancellorRidcully. Not much help but I just massively sobbed as the bloody missives of documents come in from school to complete this week. It's just impossible and the expectations are too huge of all of us.

I am truly sorry to hear your DS is borderline depressed. I am definitely seeing depressive behaviours in mine too and it's a huge concern. I just don't think schools are realising any of this and expect us to get the children to just do the work whilst work seem to think we can get kids to complete worksheets alone. The emotioanl support and work of the children is the hardest part. On that note, my DD age 10 has foudn think ninja helpful and can be done on her tablet. No use for the other one in terms of engagement. - www.healios.org.uk/services/thinkninja1

No wise words but much solidarity.

Agh, sorry for all the typos.

@burritofan, you are so right when you said this "Something has to give soon and in all likelihood that something will be "women's careers". I want to find a bat and drop-kick it into the fucking sun". Spot on.

I am so fucking angry and this is why. As my DH swans off to work (not frontline in any way) and his work won't even consider letting him swap shifts to help me with childcare in my FT job which earns way fucking more than him! I know he is not pushing this either. I don't think it should be about pay btw, just equity.

Is anyone else thinking of getting signed off? I just feel like I can’t cope with it anymore

@Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow

Yes.

If my son can’t go back to nursery on 1st June I’m going to have to resign. We are lucky in that we can survive off just DH’s wage. But I want to work because I’ve worked bloody hard for my career and didn’t want to lose that to raising my children. So am PT which was my happy compromise. Also work in a sector that will suffer so unlikely I’ll be able to get another job until the economy picks up, whereas the one I have is secure.

@TriangleBingoBongo this is how I feel. I don't enjoy my job much anyway but on paper it is well paid and good hours. I wonder how much I'll regret it when I'm trying to get back into the workplace. Resigning would temporarily take a big strain off the family though

Did contemplate it @Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow but my team is struggling and I know it would be such an issue. My sister did get signed off (lone parent but PT). I think she did a sensible thing.

I contemplate it daily then somehow struggle on through. I don’t even know what I would be signed off with!

Childminders will be allowed back to work soon under new government guidelines.

Redolent I saw that but tbh I am not sure whether ours will open

Had a chat with another guy at work who is also struggling - it’s shit all round atm for working parents

@Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow, my sister was signed off with stress and something else (she can't recall). I am hugely stressed and very teary, I don't think getting signed off would be difficult personally. But agree, I struggle on as I feel I should. Just had another row with DH who has no bloody clue whatsoever and I am so fed up of carrying everyone and doing all this. He literally is clueless and asked me if I could do some work I was doing yest another time. Oh yes, and when exactly would that be having worked every single bloody day since last sun?