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Original poster

Starting to hate society

221 replies

xtinak · 03/05/2020 01:57

I really didn't before. I don't trust my neighbours. I can't share my true thoughts with friends. The social control aspect of this is getting to me. Being expected to clap. Being shamed into compliance. Stay home, save lives... as though it could be that simple. I think I'm going mad. I don't know how to come back from it. I can't sleep. I want to move to the wilderness and never be part of it again. Help.

OP posts:
mamamo15 · 06/05/2020 08:18

@bettybeans I feel like
This. My friends and close family are child free and I have two toddlers. I am struggling and my partner is struggling to keep
His business afloat. My sister said she is enjoying lockdown and sent me photos of her enjoying a cocktail in the sun. I know it's my responsibility to look after my kids but I really need help right now. An afternoon off would be amazing. No man is an island and we all need help
Sometimes.

DianneWhatcock · 06/05/2020 08:55

t's hard not to be judgemental when you feel like your life has changed immeasurably and you're suffering for it when it looks like others might not give a damn or aren't pulling their weight. We've never had to live like this and sense of community isn't really as big a thing as it maybe used to be. I dunno. It's complex

@bettybeans I agree with all that,
Makes sense

DianneWhatcock · 06/05/2020 08:56

@mamamo15 I hope things improve for you soon it can be really hard being locked down with children especially toddlers

Also it's really hard for the self employed, I am in a similar boat to your H

catinasplat · 06/05/2020 10:04

It's hard not to be judgemental when you feel like your life has changed immeasurably and you're suffering for it when it looks like others might not give a damn or aren't pulling their weight. We've never had to live like this and sense of community isn't really as big a thing as it maybe used to be. I dunno. It's complex

It's not complex to try and be pleasant to people and not judge. You don't know why they might be "breaking" the rules. I go into a neighbour's house now and again to help them with things they can't manage (social distancing at all times), if you were watching me you'd think I might not give a damn.

catinasplat · 06/05/2020 10:06

My comment about being pleasant is fotr DianneWhatcock who has been the opposite on this thread, btw.

Original poster
xtinak · 06/05/2020 10:56

This thread started out well but then I think it began to demonstrate the problem.

OP posts:
catinasplat · 06/05/2020 11:11

Sorry xtinak it has got derailed somewhat and I contributed to that. Are you feeling any better today?

Devlesko · 06/05/2020 11:11

My comment above was because some people do fraud/try to fraud the shielding only deliveries. There have been threads on here saying as much.
I just stated I'd never do this, not that people shouldn't take additional slots.
We can manage to get to the supermarket so leave the slots for those that can't.
I've never had an online food delivery from a supermarket before. We used to have regular mat deliveries but stopped, due to the expense.

I won't need online deliveries in my wilderness, anyway. Grin
You have got me thinking though OP, I'm never far away from packing up and hitting the road. I miss this terribly and can't wait to get going again.

emmetgirl · 06/05/2020 11:14

It's probably an age thing. The older I get the more I hate everyone.

Devlesko · 06/05/2020 11:27

catinasplat

No, I'm my own person I'm not also Diane. Unless you get me on a wrong day and I've been known to be two people at once. Grin

I don't hate everyone, but i hate what society has become, it's getting harder to live outside/perimetres because everything is so managed and governed by rules and laws.
It used to be a lot freer, people had more choice over their lives.
There was less judging other people as diversity was encouraged.

LilacTree1 · 06/05/2020 11:34

It’s the shock of finding out that people want to live under strict rules and have no sense of perspective about death.

Come as a total shock to me. Maybe I’m an idiot for not realising before.

heroku · 06/05/2020 11:44

@LilacTree1 my hope is that this is the vocal minority. I think there are probably plenty of people out there who are quietly yearning for a pint in a pub garden with friends but afraid of the social stigma (I include myself here). Of course I don't want to infect vulnerable people and yes I want to protect the NHS bla bla bla but no I'm not afraid for my own health. I've had multiple friends die of cancer in the last few years and so you never know what's round the corner. Life is for living.

madcatladyforever · 06/05/2020 11:56

It is very hard, I am lucky in that I get to drive round beautiful countryside everyday visiting patients with very little risk from coronavirus and it makes a huge difference being able to get out there and have my walk wherever I like on the way home. I'm driving past in on official business so I can get out and walk there.
I'd be going bat shit crazy in the house after all this time.
Don't do anything you don't want to do - if you don't want to clap don't.
We all get through this in our own way and mine is snail in a shell - retreat when it all gets too much! It will soon be over.

GoatyGoatyMingeMinge · 06/05/2020 12:06

It’s the shock of finding out that people want to live under strict rules and have no sense of perspective about death.

Come as a total shock to me. Maybe I’m an idiot for not realising before.

Lilac, I agree with this entirely. And what has been even more surprising is to find people you know reacting in ways which seem crazy and entirely different from the way you expected they would.

With brexit for example, I thought it was remarkable how it turned out that the people I'd already selected to be my friends were entirely of the same outlook as me. But I've found that people who I thought were pretty calm, rational and liberal have surprised me on this one.

LilacTree1 · 06/05/2020 16:56

In terms of a vocal minority- I’m not sure, I see people falling over themselves to keep 2m distancing and I’ve no idea whether they are fearing the law or the virus.

The one person who seemed unhappy when it came in has now changed his tune because of furlough pay- he’s an agency worker and was confused about what he’d get.

People now think they have automatic control of the high ground because “I’m saving LIVES”. Ugh.

And the fact they ate happy to have every movement tracked - don’t get me started. Today I see the government let 20,000 into the country with it, and discharged 15,000 patients early from hospitals to care homes, to free up covid beds.

But there are still people who think quarantine or tracking healthy people is a good plan? Insanity.

LilacTree1 · 07/05/2020 11:26

is anyone still here on this thread?

I just had a really perky email from a friend and it weirded me out.

Devlesko · 07/05/2020 11:27

I'm still here, and very nosy, what was the email?

LilacTree1 · 07/05/2020 11:30

Dev, that was quick!

It's silly - I've just woken up (!) to an email from a friend saying how great it is to work at home, to have the kids at home. She did say her DH is unlikely to have work for a very long time but she's the major earner so she's not too worried about that.

I suppose it felt doubly weird - like she has no consideration for how hard it might be for me or others and also that she has no concerns about the implications for her children's future.

then again, one of my neighbours said to me "you've got to stop thinking about the future or you'll get depressed". I find that a very strange attitude. Imagine if the suffragettes thought that way!

Devlesko · 07/05/2020 13:06

It sounds a bit like I'm all right jack. But in fairness, I'm looking at my communication atm, as I can be a bit like that too.
Maybe, she's a bit like me, I open my mouth and it's like verbal diarrhea, and it can come across as a bit abrupt or uncaring, even though I care very much for the person.
Does she have any learning difficulties at all? Benefit of doubt and all?

LilacTree1 · 07/05/2020 13:21

Dev "Does she have any learning difficulties at all? Benefit of doubt and all?"

No, she's genuinely happy. She would be shocked if she knew I'd contemplated suicide but tbh I think the sort of person that finds that shocking is a bit thick anyway.

hence this is really increasing my contempt for society.

it's not that I expected her to be worried about me in particular. I would have thought anyone with a brain would be worried about ...any of their friends really.

I don't know. I just cannot be bothered with society I guess, I never thought people would be thick enough to welcome orders from their overlords.

DianneWhatcock · 07/05/2020 13:24

Maybe, she's a bit like me, I open my mouth and it's like verbal diarrhea, and it can come across as a bit abrupt or uncaring, even though I care very much for the person

@Devlesko I am a bit like that as well

I've had to really watch what I say to friends Cos were all struggling through this but in different ways .

And I can see how people could envy others their situations ie for example a furloughed worker might envy the person who can work at home and is getting full pay. But the home worker may also be having to watch multiple kids at the same time as having to do their job from the kitchen table or whatever. which must be really hard. Whereas the furloughed one could be worried if they'll still have a job to return to and also skint as its not like anyone gets full pay

Totally get Lilac though It is hard to hear when it sounds like someone is breezing through it. and can come across smug if someone says similar to what that friend said

LilacTree1 · 07/05/2020 13:36

I think also maybe some people with children can't face the reality of the economic landscape for those children. And they won't think about their lack of rights because then they'll be even more scared. I don't know.

DianneWhatcock · 07/05/2020 14:06

@LilacTree1

I think also maybe some people with children can't face the reality of the economic landscape for those children.

Yes Sad I for one am very worried about this side of things (I have 3 dc) but I think some aren't actually considering the long term implications. And what this will do to their children's prospects

Mascotte · 07/05/2020 14:10

I totally agree @LilacTree1 that kind of positive pish is extremely annoying. I've given up speaking to my neighbours and on the fb chats as the relentless positivity about a draconian removal of all that was supposed to be fundamental to our society takes place

Devlesko · 07/05/2020 15:05

LilacTrees

I'm sorry you have been suicidal, I know what this is like.
I hope you are well atm, could you join me and OP in our wilderness?
Do you have young ones, mine are mostly grown up now apart from dd. She's 16 going on 30 though, and practically independant now.