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Original poster

Starting to hate society

221 replies

xtinak · 03/05/2020 01:57

I really didn't before. I don't trust my neighbours. I can't share my true thoughts with friends. The social control aspect of this is getting to me. Being expected to clap. Being shamed into compliance. Stay home, save lives... as though it could be that simple. I think I'm going mad. I don't know how to come back from it. I can't sleep. I want to move to the wilderness and never be part of it again. Help.

OP posts:
Campervan69 · 03/05/2020 10:12

barbites I don't even see what the problem is with your neighbour having a socially distanced chat with her brother everyday? We do the same with my father-in-law whose wife died at the beginning of all this after 60 years of marriage and I think his mental health would be suffering greatly if he did not see people everyday as he's on his own for the first time in his adult life. It's not prohibited under the regulations as long as we keep our distance.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/05/2020 10:16

But to be honest if you leave your house your neighbours don't actually know where you're going (or probably give a fuck)

@Lalala205 have you missed the posts where people know exactly how many times someone has gone out, what shopping they've had delivered etc and the posters egging them on to report for not following the same batshit rules as them? They might not know where you're going but they make it their business w how many times!

3746xvy734 · 03/05/2020 10:30

Your like half the country but you have to bite your lip and clap.Just keep biting your lip because actually telling people what you think will just cause arguments

Yes, exactly. Do this and become a people-pleasing robot if you want to end up miserable and frustrated for the rest of your life. Wine

barbites · 03/05/2020 10:36

@Campervan69 it's just that he drives over to do it. I honestly don't give a shit! I've contemplated driving to wave at my parents and it's only the embarrassment of being stopped that stops me! I cannot see what the harm is (I'm sure someone will tell me!)
I think this has gone on long enough and we need to get on with it now. Possibly not a popular opinion, but it's mine!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/05/2020 10:41

Your like half the country but you have to bite your lip and clap.Just keep biting your lip because actually telling people what you think will just cause arguments

Why? I haven't clapped once and don't intend to. I have no problems with people that do, only those who turn it into a competition each week and those that let off fireworks. If anyone asked me why I don't clap I'm happy to explain that I think it's now completely contrived. The first time was fine, a nice thought, but making it a it a compulsory weekly event has made it meaningless.

If they choose to judge me because of that then so be it.

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 10:42

@3746xvy734 yes exactly, it does cause misery and frustration

OP posts:
3746xvy734 · 03/05/2020 10:47

"it's just that he drives over to do it. I honestly don't give a shit! I've contemplated driving to wave at my parents and it's only the embarrassment of being stopped that stops me! I cannot see what the harm is (I'm sure someone will tell me!)
I think this has gone on long enough and we need to get on with it now. Possibly not a popular opinion, but it's mine"

Barbites

Yes, I agree. I would like someone to tell me why getting in my car, on my own, not going near anyone, going for a drive, is a problem whereas going out to exercise, where I am bound to come into contact with people, even if keeping acceptable distance, or going shopping, is perfectly ok? Anyone?

If you're full of fear you can't think straight and are more likely to comply without question. Complying without question is not a good thing.

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 11:09

I am disturbed at the unquestioning compliance - with guidance that doesn't clearly target transmission prevention.

OP posts:
3746xvy734 · 03/05/2020 11:13

I am disturbed at the unquestioning compliance - with guidance that doesn't clearly target transmission prevention

To me it's logical to feel disturbed at the moment OP. There is a massive amount of cognitive dissonance going on.

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 11:25

The cognitive dissonance is painful.

OP posts:
3746xvy734 · 03/05/2020 11:42

The cognitive dissonance is painful

Yes OP and it's meant to be.

Forced compliance behaviour is one of the main causes of cognitive dissonance. Your psyche is responding in exactly the way it should do in a healthy person. I hope that cheers you up a little! Flowers

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 12:07

It does help a little. Thank you.

OP posts:
Kcnana · 03/05/2020 12:51

If it makes you feel any better, me and my husband don't clap on Thursdays. It doesn't mean we don't appreciate the NHS - we always have and always will (especially being 22 weeks pregnant currently and relying on them a lot!).

I think I know where you're coming from. I have felt society slipping despite it being plastered over the news that we're 'all pulling together.' People seem less friendly, neighbours have turned in to curtain twitchers. Everyone is so interested in what everyone else is doing.

All I can say is hold on. It will get better - there has definitely been a shift in the past couple of weeks. This cannot last indefinitely. I've taken comfort in watching the rest of the world slowly open back up thinking that will soon be us Grin

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 13:17

I am holding on, and I'm sure it will ultimately improve, but I feel like seeing people behave as they are is something I can't unsee and I wonder how to get past it.

OP posts:
anicebag · 03/05/2020 13:18

Maybe get off social media? Stop thinking you can mind read? Clap/don’t clap. You’re being creative with the rules already- ok. But, the rules are about minimising risk. The more compliance from the people you scorn the safer you are if you crash going into town? The emptier the hospitals will be for your free spirit should you need it. Be thankful for the mindless bastards like me 😄.

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 13:32

It looks to me like rules are not that well targeted to reducing risk, and they do a poor job of balancing the risk and cost of the measures. Also, we really don't attribute personal responsibility to other risks in the same way as we are doing now with this. I wouldn't presume to tell someone not to smoke or drive because of the risk to others or their resulting use of the NHS. There are debates to be had around those things, for sure. This is a badly done rush job backed up by limited evidence but producing a lot of very nasty side effects. And we should be able to at least say so without fear of reprisal. I don't dispute we have to act.

OP posts:
Kimtendo · 03/05/2020 13:33

Yeah yeah but the real question is what do you hate more OP? Society or wasps?

Original poster
xtinak · 03/05/2020 13:38

I've actually never minded wasps. I'm sure they've got a role to fulfil in the ecosystem.

OP posts:
RabbitsGoneRogue · 03/05/2020 13:53

I agree op. I find the utter lack of logic in “the rules” astounding. I can’t process how some people can’t think their way through it either.
I moved my parents in at the start of lockdown and the sheer amount of judgement I faced for it despite the fact we had all isolated first is astounding.

It’s like the end of times Grin

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 03/05/2020 14:01

I think a lot comes down to knowing you would behave responsibly & make sensible risk assessments but being forced into the wee dooket because “society” can’t be trusted as a whole.

we don’t clap I think it’s a load of bollocks - being seen to be good rather than being good.

FWIW I’m in Scotland & really resent not being “allowed” to drive to take the kids to a different walk OTOH I haven’t seen the police at all since lockdown started Confused

LilacTree1 · 04/05/2020 00:37

I completely understand OP

At the start of this, I had a neighbour tell me I’d been out exercising for 1hr 5 mins.

“ I feel like seeing people behave as they are is something I can't unsee and I wonder how to get past it.”

So much this.

GCAcademic · 04/05/2020 00:47

Is this being fuelled by Facebook? I would leave it, or at least unfollow local groups for the time being. Some of the people I’ve seen on there recently have made me understand how we had witch burnings in this country.

Mimishimi · 04/05/2020 07:14

Indeed GCA. The vitriol against the Chinese is so virulent in Australia right now with some thickheads I am very worried for my brother's girlfriend. To be honest, I learned Mandarin and a bit worried about that too.

Maxandezra · 04/05/2020 07:53

I completely agree OP. I feel some people's behaviour has become so so awful. Totally and completely lacking in compassion and empathy. I suspect a lot of it is driven by fear, whipped up my the media hysteria but still. It has made me see many, many people in a totally different light and has been one of the most distresing things about all of this for me.

Mascotte · 04/05/2020 07:58

@xtinak. I know how you feel.

One thing that might help is that there is no "once a day" exercise law in Scotland. No time limit nor amount of times specified.