Starting to hate society

[xtinak]

I really didn't before. I don't trust my neighbours. I can't share my true thoughts with friends. The social control aspect of this is getting to me. Being expected to clap. Being shamed into compliance. Stay home, save lives... as though it could be that simple. I think I'm going mad. I don't know how to come back from it. I can't sleep. I want to move to the wilderness and never be part of it again. Help.

I think people judging neighbours is an unfortunate phenomenon but it's the only spectator sport people have right now. In any case you probably don't actually know what they are thinking about you. Perhaps they are thinking very kind caring things about you .
I would advise reading less online and get in touch with one or two people you know directly for a chat. Don't imagine you know what other people around you are thinking. If people are actually being arseholes to you then that is their own problem and their own maladaptive way of coping. Just ignore. Clap if you want to. Don't clap if you don't want to.

As you’ve said @xtinak though- it’s not enforced so IF your neighbours did report you (who to?) then nothing would happen. So whilst I’m not saying break the rules exactly- just bend them slightly. If it helps make you feel better and you’re not actually increasing anyone’s risk eg going out to exercise twice a day or heading to two shops instead of one or buying a fucking newspaper then go for it.

I’m with you. I’m also concerned about how few people actually know or understand the current guidelines. It’s as if people have been brainwashed.
Yesterday on my local FB group someone posted a picture of our town centre with shock horror people shopping. They captioned it ‘look at these cunts’
There was literally 100s of responses agreeing.
I never comment but did yesterday asking what were people actually doing wrong? You are allowed to shop. There is no essential list so you are entitled to buy whatever a shop is selling. So posters even challenged that !
Some people have actually lost the plot !
I’m ashamed of my fellow humans sometimes

I never clap. My neighbours call my name for me to come out. I refuse. Madness.

I'm in Scotland and wouldnt say it was Draconian here. Far from it. I am allowed to work from my office two days a week( have a written permission explaining why) and have never been stopped to ask where i was going. Go for walks every day and lots of people out doing the same, but observing social distancing. My sisters in Belgium and London seem to have it much tougher

I agree OP.

I was driving through a town yesterday and was waiting at the lights when a little way up the road an elderly man fell over. He was lying by the edge of the road whilst numerous people gave him a wide birth. There was no where for me to park otherwise I would have stopped and helped. I dont know if anyone helped him in the end.

I’m actually so pleased to read this, I thought I was the only person with these views.
I was even saying to my partner last night, I think I’m going mad!
If it helps, my friend who is an NHS nurse and who has just recovered from a very mild version of Covid, actually said she finds it all a bit too much. They are constantly being given donations of things too and she said it’s starting to make her feel uncomfortable, as she’s just doing her job.

It’s also an attitude of if you dare say anything against that goes against the grain you are shamed. No freedom of speech anymore. I blame the media, in particular social media.

Ah, I don’t give a shit about anyone outside my immediate family. They can all think of me what they like.

We had the neighbours banging their pots on our front door last week. I opened the window and asked what the fuck they were doing. “You don’t clap so we are doing it for you” was the reply. Never spoken to them before that.

They have people round for parties In the garden most weeks so they can fuck off.

I’ve felt like this for a long time now. I used to live on the outskirts of a village in the middle of nowhere and didn’t used to see another soul for weeks at a time. I wish I still did.

@SpringBlossomIsBeautiful that's a perfect example. I find it hard to see my friends and acquaintances engage in this name calling, and persistent miunsdertanding of risk and of the guidance.

@MozFan indeed. The lack of free speech, the shaming. It's really oppressive to feel like you can't say anything lest you may be shunned.

@Connie222 I find that scary and outrageous that someone would bang on your door.

Oh and My neighbours on the other side put a shitty note through the door saying they had noticed I had a regular visitor and it wasn’t allowed. If they saw it again they would call the police.

I’m having pregnancy complications - it was my midwife who comes to see me every two weeks, so they can can crack on with their reporting. Again, never spoken to them and couldn’t even point them out in a line up.

Wow. That's crazy and scary.

All the best with the pregnancy too.

I'm just getting on with my life.
If anyone wants to report me for leaving my house most days then crack on. I'm going to work as I provide an essential service. They will also not shot themselves in the foot though.

Will shoot themselves in the foot.

@xtinak thank you

My neighbours brother keeps coming over and they have a chat outside. She is also a clapper and pan banger.
Wouldn't dream of reporting, can see why they do this. Only annoys me because I'm so God damn compliant! Everyone else should be.
I'm NHS staff, I hate the clapping, it's so embarrassing and stupid.

To be clear, I am not compliant. I have gone out multiple times without proper reason, my parents stop by the front garden to chat, I've driven to "exercise", yesterday I went and got a latte in town.

I'm compliant insofar as working from home and child not in nursery.

@xtinak I want to be more like you 😊

I’ve found my people! I think everyone has gone mad! The brexiteer / Tory voting / generally apathetic people who suddenly find themselves such ardent NHS fans that they asked us if we were “too posh to clap”
People who won’t let their kids wave out the window to mine as we walk past “just in case” !! It’s nonsensical!
The virtue signallers posting about how they haven’t spent any time with their kids in 6 weeks as they’ve been so busy collecting prescriptions and doing shopping for other people.

I’m with you on running away

And fwiw - we are following all the guidance. I just find people have whipped themselves up into such a frenzy they’re unable to think clearly. I guess that is in a large part caused by social media. I want the lock down to end partly to get some normality but also to end these idiots reign of terror!!

Totally with you op and some utterly ridiculous responses saying you need to ring your doctor. Get what you are saying. Come on the Dementors threads for some common sense discussion. People are being ridiculous and loving having the power to judge people who aren't as coronophobic as they are.

I honestly think some people think the virus just floats around in the air waiting to attach itself to you as you walk by. And am really sick of the tabloid press and their "covidiots" photos of people sitting in the sun on their own getting some much needed vitamin D.

I was driving through a town yesterday and was waiting at the lights when a little way up the road an elderly man fell over. He was lying by the edge of the road whilst numerous people gave him a wide berth.

DP has something similar on his daily walk - elderly gentleman very unsteady on his feet and about to collapse in the park. Needed to sit down but council have taped all the benches up. Lots of people staring and giving him the requisite 2m berth. DP helped him home.

OP I agree that Covid19 has brought out a very unpleasant side of our society. A lot of it is fear - engendering fear is pretty much the only thing our government has managed effectively in this crisis. There’s an awful lot of propaganda out there and it’s working very well. Lots of young, perfectly healthy people are now convinced that Covid19 is an inevitable death sentence. Many people aren’t very good at assessing relative risk and relying on government sound bites has made them terrified.

We don’t do the NHS clapping. We’d be very happy to pay more tax to fund the NHS, but don’t like tokenistic gestures. Our neighbours include a GP and hospital consultant and they hate the whole thing.

We’re lucky in that people in our area aren’t actively policing each other’s movements, but I’ve seen a lot of this on social media - there’s a lot of petty authoritarianism bubbling under the surface. I have come across a bit of competitive staying at hone, but I tend to just leave them to it - people are bored and restless and I guess their frustration has to find some kind of outlet.

No real advice but just be assured that plenty of people feel the same way as you. A few like-minded friends of mine have started a ‘sub WhatsApp’ group as we were getting so tired of the bigger group one, where lots of people were whingeing about people feeding the ducks etc. More people will quietly share your views than you think.

Oh and I don’t think you need any MH assistance at all - you sound perfectly reasonable to me! If anything this crisis is a damning indictment of science teaching and critical thinking in this country - if people genuinely understood a bit more they wouldn’t be quite so fearful and judgemental of others.

I know what you mean.
Social media has been particularly horrible for it. I think our town group are now removing the posts demanding that everyone never leave the house.

You can leave the house and be out of the house with a reasonable excuse. If anyone reports you, it's a pretty futile exercise. Where is there to even go, other than shops or outdoors? Both of which cover reasonable excuses.