Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking Can we have an update on the plumpness of your vag please?

@frangipani I'm glad you are feeling a little better.

Have the Clap ridden Spanish soldiers followed us across
They are worn out now, maybe we should adopt another genre of man?
No idea on type or job they have?
Hungarian dentists? Ugandan mercenaries?

Leave you lot to find the menz ta

Today I'm exercising my toddler for the eleventybillionth day in a row.

Or is he exercising me?

After weeks of nothing to froth about, last night the neighbour went out and brought back just 2x coke bottles and one large oven tray. Froth froth froth.

Maybe I'm the one they're frothing about?!

Oh no smile what's wrong with it?

Morning my loyal murderous subjects.

The whips are for your own use when you have sinned.
The AK47 will still be available for the safety of the realm.
The Spanish soldiers have sadly been redeployed to guard benches from virus spreading crisp eaters.

Fuck me, I'm tired. Stayed up till stupid o'clock last night, then the cat got sick at 5 and heartburn decided I had enough sleep by 8:30. Trying to decide what course to do today.

Hello assassins,

Thanks for these threads - they are saving my sanity.
Could one of you villains post the links to the first two threads, please? I’ve only had the pleasure of thread three (and this one).

Thanks!

Good morning murderers! It's another lovely day for it.

First class travel. Away quite a lot. Good with flaps.....

A worthy replacement for Spanish soldiers.

The alitalia ones are particularly fit...

Oooh crap. Don't watch the link I posted. Not cool. Just saw the end. Sorry! Will ask for it to be deleted

Have just spent over an hour of my 'work' time reading the crisp thread! Blimey! 😮😮😮

Pink I watched.. because you said not too.

Just like I always google MN stuff and then wish I hadn't.

Greetings fellow criminals.

So long those heady days of road rage. We now have pavement and park bench rage.

Off to join the fun and joyous queue at Lidl where people’s perception of 2 metres varies considerably oh and I may even get to see again the lady who last week wore a mask but lifted it up every few seconds to take a long drag of her cigarette. It’s the little things!

@Mamanchien

The rise in the hero complex www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3864265-the-rise-in-the-hero-complex

First thread. Towards the end of there will be a link for the second one.

Princess. I'm so sorry. That was horrible.

Lala... Gorgeous pilots ended up crashing and plane exploded. Not funny as based on a true event. Didn't notice until I'd posted.

Apologies for anyone who saw the end.

Not cool of me.

One of my neighbours was sunbathing in the communal garden while her kids were in childcare. Now that's one cold blooded serial killer right there. Frother heads would explode just at the thought of it.

Pink breathe! Chill! It's not the worst thing we've seen on the internet. It's probably not even the worst thing I've seen this week.

No one's gonna smack you on the head with the willy whip for it.

Thank you for your absolution princess! You are most benevolent. I wouldn't mind a little tap on the head from a willy whip though...

I'm off to town now but "allowed" to as it's a voluntary work thing! I want the fuzz to stop me so I can proudly produce my email of saintliness!

Lala .. the doc is delectable. But he might be busy waiting for the clap.

Anyone want anything essential whilst I'm out. I'll be near a poundsaver AND a big M&S. I'll bleach before I deliver.

Fags please

Thanks, Princess!

My neighbour just called me a superhero And I don't even work for the NHS.

I brought her parcel round (and did the awkward knock-the-door-and-dance-backwards-before-it-opens) as it was incorrectly cold-dropped outside my house. Turns out it was an incredibly essential nail gel repair kit type thing. She was giddy with excitement and just blurted out what it was before I even had a chance to squirt bleach in her face.

Happy days. Now I am not the biggest murderer in the cul-de-sac! I have competition, so time to up my game.

Sun is out, which means we will be burning heretics firewood this evening and having a crazy midweek outdoor dinner thing with all the alcohols and much merriment.