Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

Thanks. So far i have done sfa but washer just finished so need to get dressed and put it out. Damm i was hoping to just sort of become one with the sofa ameoba like.🤣

Got sucked back in to that thread. Sick to death of one poster making it all about them every fecking thread. And spouting bollocks all the way. One good thing about getting my very own shielding letter this week🤣🤣

Honestly don't know what I did- never did get to the bottom of it but his disciples had an amazing array of theories around what it was/could have been and apparently I have the blood of millions on my hands. Funny thing is it makes me want to actually sit on a park bench eating Wotsits just for the hell of it!

Off to eat Frazzles on the grass. Wish us luck

Happy Birthday Willow

Crisps on a bench to celebrate? Or maybe push the boat out and have some cake on the bench?

I'm in work today, needed a change of scenery. Just me here. Wonder how many people ive killed off leaving house, getting in car, driving to work, getting out of the car and sitting at my desk all day

Ohh maybe we should do an organised bench sitting and eating(Because I'm nice it doesn't have to be crisps) protest/devil summoning.

Happy Birthday @Willow2017

Been out for the weekly shop. Might have accidentally trodden on someone behind me in the queue who was definitely not 2 metres behind me. They made a very satisfying screechy noise As a punishment, I was subjected to heavy tutting from a passing shopper who gave the contents of my trolley a quick once-over and then hissed 'Pringles' at her DH. Oh the shame!!

Slunk out of Asda awash with embarrassment, threw shopping in car and thoroughly bleached myself. Decided I needed a fag before going on to the horror that is Tesco. Car was parked in the shade, so I walked at least 20 feet across the car park and sat on a bench in the sunshine. And smoked. And said things like 'Nice day' and 'Lovely weather' to passers-by. I have probably killed at least a billion people and caused the NHS to collapse completely.

And as if all of that wasn't bad enough, I bought a triple chocolate trifle in Tesco. Which I am not going to soak in bleach before consuming. And I am going to enjoy it

Smoking during corona. What are you thinking @BamboozledandBefuddled ? That's tripling your amount of victims right there.

I am going to invent a Drinking Game for future PMQs or Daily Briefings.

Triggering phrases will include:

Guided by the Science
Straining Every Sinew
Right Steps at the Right Time
Ramping Up Testing

I think I will get quite, quite tiddly.

p.s. they are also excellent names for potential racehorses.

You dont need to do anything to get frothers worked up they just make shit uo.to be outraged at.
Sod em all.
When i put the washing out neighbour was out trimming her bush (steady...no just stop!!) I stood a la Donald Sutherland and pointed and screamed. That will teach her.

I'd quite like to name a race horse

Phuckee Tall

More bubbles

Oooohhhh gazes at bubbles like a 3 yr old thanks Princess

What are you thinking BamboozledandBefuddled? That's tripling your amount of victims right there

Go me!!! Do I get a prize?

I know but at my age it's a while since I was even tutted at- send my poor DH to the local shop for my wine and full fat Quavers dipped in msg! Sod em all indeed, the bleachers and the virtual signalling suddenly- give- shit-about the NHSers!

I spoke to a few people today, and we... laughed!! Should I reserve my place in hell now or will I be sent an invite?

@crowCat

I’m working hard on pencil drawing so will hand draw invitations with AK47s, benches and crisps, overseen by our Great Leader smoking at NHS clap time.

Keep me a place by the fire CriwCat i feel the cold more than most.

Princess, thank you for the bubbles!

OH killing just about...everyone! I think he's vying for my position.

Can I add ‘green shoots’ to the drinking game?

There was a particularly fun briefing with the brilliant scrambled metaphor of green shots in the forest under threat by taking our foot off the accelerator ... can’t remember if it was Witty or that awful NHS guy. Made me chortle though.

Off to my mum’s tonight ... swapping fruit for compost, the kids can run around their garden & eat the cookies she leaves out for them. I think I’ll let them roll on the grass too.

Nooooo all that innocent grass being contaminated by terribly selfish people! How could you? Hell is too good for the likes of you all. (Lets face it we have slaughtered millions even
Auld Nick himself wont know what to do with us all😁)

• even Auld Nick himself wont know what to do with us all😁)*

That gave me a proper fright that we actually know eachother.😂😂😂

😂😂😂 why's that? Do you live in Sconny Botland?

messages only Scottish friend she has

@CrowCat I was accused of the same by my mum and sisters because I refused to wash and removed any cardboard boxes that my shopping was in!!! And they REALLY didn't like my response to their frothing "well if I'm going to get it I will get it and apart from washing my hands regularly (which I did anyway!) I'm not getting into a tizz about it".