Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

@Willow so we're not virtuous using the bench to eat crisps and will therefore spread the disease to trillions, but those using it for exercise will prevent the spread because virtue. Bloody hell. Is this thing like the rapture in reverse then??

I really do wonder at people. How are they able to function normally??

it is the poo crumbs

In London the benches are taped off.

Lilac probably the non virtuous tried to sit on them and forever contaminated them.

CrowCat i have read Dean Koontzs' 'The Taking' you can keep 'the Rapture' too😄😄

Is Dean Kootz good? I’m finding watching violent stuff helps my rage but I’m struggling to get into any books.

I love his books. A mix of science, supernatural and great characters and there is usually a dog too😄
Not hack and slash though. He gets a bad rep because of the genre but a lot of his stuff is based on actual science he just asks what if? The books are never boring they grip you and take you on a rollercoaster. Of course there is horror: some scientific, some supernatural, sometimes animals, sometimes just people but there is a good story as well.
You just need to let your imagination go with the flow something i have never had a problem with and the sciencey stuff behind the books is quite scary tbh.

Ooh I love supernatural stuff.

@LilacTree1 I'd happily slaughter a mythical chicken with you.

I’ll slaughter a real chicken 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jump on the tube, there's a cockerel pissing about at 4 am every day.

Dean Koontz is good but I'm more a Clive Barker girl myself. Cenobytes and all that. Mucho blood.

The Odd Thomas books are a good start. But 'The Taking' is more full on intense at times.

Have a look and pick one that you like the sound of and go for it. I love the fact his dogs are always part of the story not just add ons and usually extremely smart😄 i loved 'Watchers' for that reason😉

I’d really like a book about a woman serial killer

Any ideas? We need more women killers!

No sorry dont read those kids of books myself. Unless you count Stephen Kings Misery? That's one crazy bitch.😁

Oh lordy look at the time i need to go to bed been up since 5.30!!
Night all.

Morning all! Hope you heathens are all good this morning!

I don't even like crisps that much. I am tempted to go out and sit on a park bench whilst eating them. Might do some box jumps as well just cover all angles of being virtuous and spreading all sorts of germs over the bench.

Need to help the NHS and all that.

Morning villains, I'm awake so sodding early cos an alarm kept going off. Not sure house or car but when I find out I'm gonna commit actual murder. Of course by the time I woke up, got up and was wide awake the alarm had stopped.

I don't even like crisps that much. I am tempted to go out and sit on a park bench whilst eating them

I'm definitely doing this today, i dont like crisps at all but for the sake of the frothers to have something to froth about, the possibility of becoming famous in my own lunch time for breaking the roolz, being shamed on faceache thus giving everyone else an opportunity to break roolz without being noticed, I'm doing it. Taking one for the team.

Bananabixfloof we should do an organised one. The equivalent of the clap.

I have a serious question, I only feel comfortable asking here, if that's OK. Just watching GMB and they are talking about the ONS figures and talking about the large amount of people dying, not related to covid.

They are also talking about the fact that the vast majority of people are nor seeking medical help for other issues and its leading to serious illness or death.

I get that covid is costing the NHS a fortune. But given that most things have stopped (my dp has now missed 2 scans) and people aren't seeking medical help, even when they need it. Isn't the NHS also saving a fortune? There's all this money being raised but not much clarity on how much more, overall, the NHS is spending.

Is the Covid spending out weighing the savings? Are there any figures that show the NHS spend vs Savings or even overall figure of how much the NHS usually costs in March/April compared with this year.

Also, are nhs staff being furloughed? Dp still can't get his specialist hearing aid fitted, which is fine. But when I spoke to the receptionist on the phone, she said they are all still working, some from home but don't have anything to do and can't really be redeployed. She was looking forward to getting people back in, with measures in place. She also said the 2 consultants working in that department haven't been redeployed (not sure if they can be) and working from home doing paperwork.

Will they all be kept on, on full wage?

morning scoundrels.
OMG I couldnt help it, I commented on the crisp thread

I think I might go and sit on a bench to eat a packet of crisps whilst wearing my NHS badge. That would be interesting. Would the virus strike me down dead there and then or would I be save on account of being an NHS HERO.......

shits NHS sraff aren't being furloughed. A lot of have been redeployed, either to COVID related stuff or to cover staff absences in other areas. Some are working slightly differently eg in my specialty a lot of appointments (not all) have been changed from face to face to telephone consultations. But for those that can't be redeployed and can't work remotely it is a bloody frustrating time. There is always endless amounts of pointless admin to do that I suppose they will be catching up on, but it is really driving me mad this whole idea that unless you have COVID you can't have your health needs met . There was a thread on here actually about a lot of NHS staff with not much to do feeling really pissed off. Someone had been to A&E and the staff were all sat round chatting with nothing to do! I actually really worry about what is happening to people's health aside from COVID currently.

anyway...in other news, I have ordered some new running shoes. Few thousand dead there.
Off to work now. Have good days all - mind out for those killer crisp/bench combos though!

Under His Eye

@Maxandezra thank you. Yes, I get the impression those in the NHS without much do are frustrated. I am also worried about all the people, like Dp, who aren't getting medical support when they need it.

I am really intrigued to see what the NHS is saving vs what it's spending. There has to be some savings somewhere.

I also wonder if we will ever know the true damage the lock down has done. Not covid itself, but how managing has caused other deaths and illness.

Of course me even thinking about this means I don't care about people dying of covid. So I think I have already filled my recklessness quota for the day. So there an upside

I read the 'my hospital is empty' thread and was quite surprised at the difference between what was being posted there and the incessant fear-porn we are subjected to in newspaper headlines.

Anyway, I am off to take a multibag of crisps to the park and find myself a bench.

Ooooo I like this thread. I find lots of the other mn threads a bit bizarre. The crisp thread drove me back to drink.

I admit to having the odd browse round poundland as well. Also dh loves B and M and goes for essentials every week to bastard B and M so he can have a browse round. We have an allotment and he bought fucking bunting for the shed at the weekend as well as a scarecrow ornament thing, some bedding plants and a plastic Robin. But also coffee and zoflora so essential.

We didn't need coffee or zoflora but roolz innit?

Just jumping in to read later

I saw a runner and a pedestrian have an all out Barney yesterday because the runner stepped out, safely, into the road but the pedestrian had already started to cross so they ended up in the road 1.99 metres apart. My sons watched on gleefully, and my normally mind mannered 7 year old whispered "smack her" under his breath thinking I hadn't heard....

Morning Fellow Bananians and all hail our venerable and esteemed most royal and humourous Princess Banana .

Thank you your most royal of majesties for creating another thread for us to escape to.
What a joy to wake up this morning to some sanity (in these troubled times).

The whip willies or willy whips are most magnificent oh wonderful Princess. Are they issued with AK 47s or instead of?

Have the Clap ridden Spanish soldiers followed us across?

Also, could we maybe round up the frothers, herd them into the £100K more for my house village lane, force them to kneel on benches whilst eating crisps and let loose with the AK 47s? Then allow the peasants from the new estate to cycle over them whilst gawking into the village gardens and licking the gate handles.

We could then celebrate the demise of all frothers with a feast of Baileys muffins and Roast fictitious chickens. Cooked by the new estate peasantry of course.

Perhaps we could keep a few of the frothiest frothers all together in a very small high rise with tiny windows and no balcony. We could pull them out and bait them when the threads get too dull. (The flat would have no freezer but would be well stocked with gruel, bleach and lidl pasta and tinned tomatoes. )