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Original poster

My lovely Dad is gone

93 replies

Cherrycee · 21/04/2020 04:38

Its the middle of the night and I just can't sleep after the traumatic 24 hours I've had. I wonder if anyone else is here?

This horrible bastard of a virus took my lovely Dad yesterday and I'm really struggling. The illness came on extremely quickly. He was given oxygen but he just didn't respond to it at all. I got a few minutes with him before he went but he was unconscious and I was so shaken I could barely even say anything to him, I was just a mess. I told him I loved him and I fell apart and had to leave the room.

We can't even have a proper funeral. This is just so so unfair.

The media is full of stats and commentary but with little focus on the victims and their families, unless they're the 'worthy' ones who were young or had no underlying conditions. My dad may have been elderly but he could have had a few more years left. His life mattered and he's more than a statistic.

I don't know how to cope with this. Can anyone relate?

OP posts:
Nquartz · 21/04/2020 06:30

I'm so sorry Thanks

Original poster
Cherrycee · 21/04/2020 06:31

Thanks everyone. My mother is not very well at the moment either (not covid related) so it's very tough on her too.

Dad was a very gentle, kind person. He would never utter a cross word. He loved long walks and nature, and animals loved him. He was very interested in other countries and cultures, which I think he has passed on to me. He was doing so well over the last few months that this has come as such a shock.

Thanks everyone for your messages, I was just lying in bed with all these horrible thoughts going round and round in my head. I appreciate people listening and responding. I'm finding it very hard to get my head around everything that's happened.

OP posts:
SarahInAccounts · 21/04/2020 06:35

I'm so sorry to read this, OP.

Wishing you the strength you need for he next days and weeks.

KeepWashingThoseHands · 21/04/2020 06:36

So sorry OP Thanks

daisychain01 · 21/04/2020 06:37

@Cherrycee it's hard to find the words, but how you describe your father makes it so real, he sounds lovely. So sad that you have had that time taken away, it's so cruel isn't it.

Can you plan for a memorial service later on, even if you aren't able to have the funeral now? It might give you something to aim towards to get folk together to celebrate his life.

Egghead68 · 21/04/2020 06:37

Your Dad sounds lovely. I am so sorry. Flowers

Igmum · 21/04/2020 06:39

So sorry Cherry 💐❤️🙏

Toomboom · 21/04/2020 06:41

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your dad isn't a statistic, he is someone you loved very much.

PhoenixIsFlying · 21/04/2020 06:51

Your father sounds like a wonderful man. I am so sorry this cruel virus took him. Sending you strength and love Xxx

SignGrudgeBluebook · 21/04/2020 06:59

I'm sorry for your loss. People have the chance to live longer now than they ever did and then comes this hateful virus. So sorry XXXXXX

Turtletotem · 21/04/2020 07:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds a wonderful man. It's such s difficult time for you. Do you have siblings and children? I lost my dad last year very suddenly and am thinking about how we all coped at the time.

JoyceByersWasRight · 21/04/2020 07:02

Dear Cherrycee, I wanted to say how sorry I am that your lovely dad has been so cruelly taken from you Flowers. I also wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I lost my dad 2 weeks ago to Covid19. My dad was also elderly-78, he did have dementia and COPD but he was still independent living in his own home. It is not fair, and I don't think the media has given much thought to those who had underlying health problems or were elderly- it is a bit glossed over.

We are having a very small funeral later this week, and will have a celebration of his life with family and friends later in the year. I believe that some countries weren't even permitting this, so I am grateful that we can have something, however small.

It is all so sad. A big hand hold to you at this difficult time.

Take care x

BrexpatInSwitzerland · 21/04/2020 07:05

I'm so verry sorry, Cherry! Flowers

Your dad sounds like a lovely person. It hurts, doesn't it? And it will get better, it's just that this is pretty inconveivable in the beginning.

Take good care of yourself and your loved ones at this horrible time!

Witchesandwizards · 21/04/2020 07:07

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a little cry for him, and for everyone who has lost someone they love to this horrific disease.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 21/04/2020 07:08

I’m really sorry OP. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man.

Pommes · 21/04/2020 07:10

Your posts are so full of love for your dad. I'm so sorry for your huge loss xxx

MayMiracle · 21/04/2020 07:11

I'm really sorry, lots of love to you, and your mum & family

MegUffin · 21/04/2020 07:11

So sorry to hear this

Sending you love and hugs

💐💐

cricketmum84 · 21/04/2020 07:15

I'm so sorry 😢 your dad will never be just another statistic. He was YOUR dad and you loved him and he will never be forgotten x

The80sweregreat · 21/04/2020 07:16

I'm so sorry.

OuterMongolia · 21/04/2020 07:23

I am sorry for your loss Flowers

KatherineJaneway · 21/04/2020 07:24

So sorry for you loss Flowers

emmaluggs · 21/04/2020 07:25

I’m so sorry for your loss. He is more than a statistic, I personally think of all the families affected that Coronavirus has taken.

I recently lost my lovely dad, very suddenly he had a chest infection which turned out to be lung cancer and died a week later he was also unconscious and felt like he didn’t know we were there and it was unexpected to happen so quickly - I have an idea of the anguish and pain you are feeling. Sending my love to your family x

Lexijayde44 · 21/04/2020 07:27

I am so sad to see this. Sending you a big hug. I absolutely agree. Age doesn't come into this. Even if someone has lived a long life. That doesn't make it any better. They are individuals who had hobbies, families, friends, stories and interests.

I know one thing and that would be your dad would want you to be happy and remember all the wonderful things he did. Hold onto the special memories you have. Your child hood and all the years of love. All the Christmas', birthdays and laughs you've all had. They are the things your dad would want you to hold onto.

It will take some time to take all this in. Coronavirus can not stop you remembering your dad and giving him the send off he deserves. Although that can't be done through a service right now. Perhaps you can ask those closest to you all to light a candle at the same time. Have a drink for him. Play his favourite song.

People will have your dad in their hearts and they won't forget him. Your dad would have already known how much you love him. You was there and I don't think anyone could manage to speak without breaking down in such difficult circumstances. Perhaps write your dad a letter. Get all your thoughts down on paper and put it in an envelope. The people who take care of your dad can put it with him so your dad can keep your lovely letter.

Take care and once again I'm so sad and sorry for your loss xx

DampSquid · 21/04/2020 07:28

I'm so sorry for your loss, you're bound to be in shock at the moment as it's been so sudden. Try to be kind to yourself and talk to the people around you. Grief can come in waves, one minute you might feel relatively ok and the next overwhelmed, you will get through it though. Your dad sounds like a lovely man Flowers