Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

Ocado delivery coming Thursday. I forgot to request that the driver leave my shopping 100 metres away and not to even look in my direction as I waddle over (too many Pringles) to collect it

Wow 4 pages if sanctuary already! Go us😂😂

Thanks for the new thread. I think these threads might be the main things keeping me sane.

oh fantastic another thread....may there be much frolicking and blessing of fruit......

New thread names are always welcome ...I severely lack inspiration and wit atm,hence being a bit quiet .

I have just been told that leisure whilst exercising means is not exercise......therefore not allowed.

Didn't realise you could only go out for exercise if you were also miserable about it.

shits rather fortunately I always look as if Im dying when I'm out running so that should no doubt please the frothers. (they would never know I actually quite enjoy it!) I do sometimes stop to breath take a photo though, that would defintiely piss a few people off!

Oooh i am sitting on my hands. Twice i have written a post and deleted it on those rabid threads about exercise and crisps. Wtaf is the world coming to?

Oh no Willow ... just reply. I do. I’m sure I piss people off calling them pathetic but I honestly don’t care

@Maxandezra me too! I look like I am doing it as punishment.

So on the crisp thread.

Sitting on a bench is fine if you have limited mobility. Then risk isn't increased.

Those people can't catch it off the previous occupant unless that person was eating crisps.

However, its perfectly legitimate to use the bench for tricep dips (doesn't increase the risk of spreading the virus, not like crisps) and doing box jumps.

Apparently jumping on a bench with your shoes on, is perfectly hygienic and poses no risk to the person with limited mobility who may need the bench later.

But sitting on it and eating crisps increases the risk massively. 🤷‍♀️

I have but you cant fight stupid. Appatently its ok to exercise on a park bench with hands and feet all over it but actually sitting on it will infect a small town! Htaf does that work. Oh unless you have a sign round your neck to say you are disabled or having a hypo which means you cant infect anyone.
My brain is bleeding out my ears and my eyes are dribbling down my face at the utter nonsensical logic put forward.

I kinda gave up being sensible and rational.

Now I mostly do my pouty snarky toddler routine "I don't wanna! You can't make me!"

At least I won't be the only one smacking my head on the keyboards then.

Ha ha x post!

Re Crisp Gate. Surely these people don’t actually say this stuff out loud? To real life people?

I think I met a mumsnet frother

I was out today at the nature reserve and witnessed a lady walking her dog getting really angry, I heard Her shouting at a big family group (nature reserve, v quiet and not overlooked)

-you were here yesterday! I saw you!
-yes....
-everyday you think think you can come out just to play!
-you see us because you are here
-you don’t even social distance don’t you? Touching!
-we live in the same house!
-AND WITH CHILDREN!
-should we lock them up?
-PEOPLE LIKE YOU SPOIL IT FOR THE REST OF US. I WILL BE TELLING THE COUNCIL

real life thread in action

I'm looking forward to when the council do haircuts with government-issued ration vouchers.

TOIM WATSON DIDN'T DIE FOR HIS COUNTRY SO YOU COULD BUY HAIR DYE!

I popped back into the picnic in the park thread. Big mistake. One poster said that the OP's family should have gone out separately to avoid having fun.

Are hair shirts coming back into fashion?

Princess should birch branches be issued so that we can all flagellate ourselves if we think bad thoughts like 'wouldnt it be nice to walk somewhere different today'?

There's shooting stars outside if anyone wants to join me in looking like a freezing moron in the middle of the street.

Birch branches are too good for you sinners!

Kneeling on walnut shells and thorn whips all the way.

Well i think the communal whip is now a cat o nine tails from over use so we may need a replacement.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock I have been watching the shower too although I have just been in the middle of the front garden rather than the street.

I had takeout delivered for dinner this evening. I’ve been in a ‘dip’ emotionally and it’s sucked all my energy out of me so I just couldn’t face cooking. That’s at least a couple dead for sure.

Despite my bad mood I actually watched live the daily government update. Even though it’s not the most cheerful news, I actually found it strangely soothing and it cheered me up to here calm, statement of actual facts and discussion about reliability of data etc. The simple clear-headed logic and reason being shown were honestly the perfect balm for me. Is that terribly weird or just a reasonable response to being so surrounded by hyperbolic, insane frothers and flim flam?