Dads banned from maternity wards, scans and NICU

[HatRack]

Thoughts? It's like warping back to the 50s.

Nobody is banning partners for the birth, just not on wards.

I just hope that new mums who suffer PND get the support that they need, when they need it.

@Nat6999 Agreed. I think some people could show more empathy.

I just hope that new mums who suffer PND get the support that they need, when they need it.

You’ve got to be kidding. Nhs budgets are going to be slashed to the bone after this is over to pay all the current spending off. If you think recent austerity measures were harsh you haven’t seen anything.

Specialist services will be cut, number of midwives overall will be slashed.

As others have said, the issue with a partner (male or female) not being present is not when everything is going smoothly, but for when there is a problem and there is no one there to advocate for the mum. Also for when you get bad news at a scan.

I fail to see how anyone cannot empathise with those situations at the same time as recognising that these measures are required.

Nobody's banning women from having partners during the birth.

I’d say a birth partner is essential for mental health.

I don't think any trusts have banned birth partners have they?

Saying that, there are many situations where people's mental health will be suffering due to Covid. There are no visitors to people on wards so people are alone and scared- especially people with dementia. People are being discharged from hospital into care homes they have not chosen to go to, where their family cannot visit. Most importantly people are dying alone- with no family.

Although the above examples are horrendous and really upsetting to see what is the alternative? We can't just open up visiting hours and care homes to everyone or Covid would spread even faster than it is. Where is the line drawn?

Scans are medical appointments and it is time people started remembering it is not a bonding experience, but to check on the health of the baby

Oh, really? And there was me thinking that my next scan to check on my baby's health complications was just for me to have another look at him and get a pretty picture

I’d say a birth partner is essential for mental health.

It really isn't.

Good for you. Thankfully the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists says otherwise.

so some empathy might be nice

Agree with you - it seems to be in short supply on this thread.

I spoke with midwife this morning and they said I need to stay at home until contractions are every two minutes for at least two hours. I should then go to hospital and they will check that I am in established labour (dad not allowed in maternity unit until this is confirmed) Dad can be there during birth and stay for two hours afterwards, but then they have to go home.

I am a first time mum so this is all a bit daunting, but I understand why these measures need to be taken.

Don't think I ever presented one of these before

Shit stirring op.

"Deleted from family life"

Utter bollocks.

You realise that your wife, baby and their caters are more at risk if the other women on the ward all have partners with them? It's not just about you.

PinkJam My PIL have been self isolating alongside us so that they can minimise the risks when looking after my toddler when I go into labour. If any of us falls ill then of course I will give birth alone

@NerrSnerr I think only one has banned birth partners it was a comment in response to childcare.

Totally appreciate the need to not allow extras on the postnatal ward or at routine appointments (although I am very sorry for those who are anxious about this) it’s a tough time to be pregnant. I understand the need for all of this completely but it doesn’t mean I am not sad to not get the birth experience I planned.

@IvinghoeBeacon same here with my mum. Just hoping it works out. Good luck to you

It is perfectly possible for women to be fully aware and understanding of the need for the current restrictions, whilst also taking a while to adjust mentally to the change in expectations. Just as I imagine people with all sorts of medical conditions are having to adjust to new regimes. It must be very hard being a midwife knowing you could be taking the virus home to your family. It must all be hard. And it must be horrendous to know that your loved one is dying alone. It’s possible to have sympathy for all these people at the same time, and I shouldn’t have to state that for people to show some kindness towards pregnant women who are frightened

You too, GinUnicorn

So any dad who misses a birth for any other reason has no hope of bonding or forming a proper family unit

I looked at this post for support as I am terrified of my partner and babies dad not being able to visit on the postnatal ward after our baby is born. If it all goes smoothly and I am out in a day or so fair enough but I am so worried thinking about the hypothetical situation where I am in hospital for longer 3 - 7 days or something and he can't visit. Surely he has a right to see his newborn baby and bond with her. I know I will also miss his support terribly. I understand it is about lowering risk of Covid but it doesnt make me any less concerned. Also what happens with his paternity leave. Is it just wasted with him not even being able to see his child? Reading the posts on here has just made me feel worse about it because now I feel like a monster for caring about my babies dad and him bonding with his baby instead of Covid19 risk.

I think we can be sympathetic and empathetic towards midwives risking taking Covid home to their families, to those who have lost loved ones but also to pregnant woman who are feeling stressed, anxious and upset about the current restrictions. Some very closed minded comments on here and I wish I had never read some of the comments as I now feel considerably worse.

Am I the only person who didn't want DCs dads (yes, there are 2, oh the shame) present during childbirth?

But it isn’t just dads is it? It’s birth partners in general.

@jo4nn492 his paternity leave shouldn't be effected. I believe that he doesn't need to take it straight away and can take the 1 or 2 weeks before baby is 56 days old.

www.gov.uk/paternity-pay-leave/leave

So if you are in hospital for a week, he can continue working, although some businesses will require the notice as mentioned in the link.

You can't give 28 days notice of a change in paternity leave of it is a last minute decision because I am in hospital for longer than we hoped. I think we just need to hope his employer is reasonable in this situation.

I had my baby 2 weeks ago and my husband was allowed to be there.