Dads banned from maternity wards, scans and NICU

[HatRack]

Thoughts? It's like warping back to the 50s.

Of course fathers can’t attend things if they are cutting the numbers of non-essential people in hospitals. Has it escaped your notice that women are the only ones that can give birth and therefore it’s essential that they at least are there. I’d rather precautions taken to protect Mothers a newborns so the father can have a lifetime of bonding rather than a lifetime of taking flowers to a grave. Most decent men understand this even if it is disappointing.

@IwishIhadaMargarita... has it escaped my notice... ofcourse it hasnt! I understand why these restrictions are in place and respect it but that doesnt change the way I feel about it or how anxious and stressed it makes me. I feel like a selfish monster worrying about this when midwives are risking Covid everyday and people are mourning the deaths of loved ones. However again, I can't help how I feel and how stressed I feel about him not being able to be on postnatal ward. Everyone is different emotionally and I do not feel it is as black and white as your comment indicates. I understand and appreciate the restrictions. It is okay to open non essential shops despite the risks because we need to get economy going but I guess my babies dad visiting even for an hour a day doesnt help the economy so this restriction isnt to be relaxed. Like I said on my previous post, I think it would be nice if people were supportive of peoples emotions rather than dismissive. ppphh has it escaped my notice...

What? They cant say the women have to stay away but the men are allowed on the maternity ward. The women are the ones having the child so need to be there.
In my area only the pregnant lady can go to the scan but seems they are allowed a birth partner who cant stay for too long after. Which i think is pretty fair.

@GinUnicorn

I’d say a birth partner is essential for mental health.

How on earth do you think that the mothers of all of us born pre 1970s managed when having a birth partner wasn’t routine? They got on with it and the majority didn’t succumb to PND and mental health problems.

"Didn't succumb to post natal depression and mental health problems"

Are you fucking serious???

Succumb, fail to resist pressure, temptation.

What an absolutely disgraceful ignorant statement.

@poozel

"Didn't succumb to post natal depression and mental health problems"

Are you fucking serious???

Succumb, fail to resist pressure, temptation.

What an absolutely disgraceful ignorant statement.

Well complete the full dictionary definition.

“Or to die or suffer badly from an illness”.

That didn’t suit your cause though did it? So who’s ignorant?

It's not about suiting a cause. The entire sentence about getting on with it is suggesting that those who have suffered from PND have not done that.

I used the definition of the word that comes to mind immediately when following got on with it.

Many, many women in the 70s and before suffered horribly from the trauma of the delivery room. Changes were largely made to how births operated because of just how awful it could be.

I know multiple women who may well have had their lives saved by a husband who noticed things going wrong before any nurses did in a crowded unit with lots of unexpected things happening at once. Having someone to advocate for you with medical staff is really critical sometimes.

"most women got on with it fine" means nothing. Most women survived childbirth and didn't succumb to childbed fever even before doctors washed their hands for deliveries, why bother with hygiene? What a ridiculous argument.

The idea that dads won’t bond with their baby based on being separated from them for a day or two is frankly offensive. I didn’t meet my daughter until she was 8 months old when I adopted her and we couldn’t have a better bond.

I used the definition of the word that comes to mind immediately when following got on with it.

Poozel. Well if you are ignorant of the entire definition you’re probably better off not calling others ignorant.

Why do you need them there? So they can take up all the seats in the waiting rooms while pregnant women stand?

@borntohula

Am I the only person who didn't want DCs dads (yes, there are 2, oh the shame) present during childbirth?

On this thread maybe? I'm not against DH attending the births, but he doesn't have to be on my account. He is there because he wants to be there. I couldn't care less once it starts and don't feel that I need him IYSWIM.

I’m pregnant and would do anything to protect my baby; if that means DH staying out of the delivery room then it’s crap, but so be it. Same goes for the amazing staff, and all the other mums and babies that are in at the same time as me.

@CherrySpritz the RCOG has been clear that a birth partner is very important for the mother

I looked at this post for support as I am terrified of my partner and babies dad not being able to visit on the postnatal ward after our baby is born.

"Terrified" seems an extreme reaction. I'm terrified of coronavirus because it's a horrible illness which could kill me. Not seeing my husband for an hour a day for a few days doesn't really come close to being in the same league.

At my local hospital dads haven’t been banned from nicu but it is one parent only. If the couple choose for that to be the woman then that’s on them. There is not much room between incubators and they’re trying to maintain social distancing to protect staff, other parents and babies.

The alternative is no social distancing and risk passing covid about including to poorly babies. Or remove every other incubator And halve admission capacity and then there won’t be enough incubators for all the babies and some will die. And the risk to staff is still there and then they might be off sick and not enough staff to look after the other babies who then also might die.

Scans again, essential people only.....which is obviously going to be the pregnant woman. Same on the antenatal ward and postnatal ward. A lot of postnatal care is doing essential checks on the woman who’s just had a baby. So again they can’t generally swap their place with the dad.

And my local hospital the postnatal ward are 4 bedded bays with about 3ft between the beds. So won’t be socially distanced even just with the women in the beds. Plonk a partner or 2 between the beds in the chairs which in normal times are touching each other it all gets far too cosy.

The bay is about the size of my bedroom. Bad enough with 4 adults, 4 babies in it plus a midwife or 2 working in the space. Never mind adding another 4 adults.

@BashStreetKid... okay fair enough 'terrified is a bit extreme' maybe pregnancy hormones have something to do with that.... I will reword... I am very anxious about not being able to have any visitors on postnatal ward especially if I am in for longer than a day or 2 just as I am worried about coronavirus. I am definately allowed to feel how I feel. @PeaceCheese Thank you for your comment and I totally agree. The whole pregnancy experience - scans, appointments, preparations and birth experience including postnatal is different as a result of Coronavirus. Yes we just need to get on with it and follow the rules but we are allowed to feel sad or anxious about it!

Most couples seem to be coping in our hospital.Everyone is in the same boat and you may not have your husband for the short time you're in hospital but on the plus side you don't have to put up with other people's husband's day and night.