Dads banned from maternity wards, scans and NICU

[HatRack]

Thoughts? It's like warping back to the 50s.

Well, the crisis is so far not passed, Iving, so we have to stick to the present and these new restrictions are there to protect the lives of patients and staff.

They dont keep you more than they have to , how long are you expecting to be in, he will be with you at the birth and a little time afterward.

I’m a high risk pregnancy, will need to be induced or have a c-section and there’s a good chance my baby will end up in NICU as there are complications. So I will be there a while.

The fewer people there are in hospitals the better.
These are extraordinary times.
My sympathy is with those unable to see or say goodbye to their dying relatives on the COVID-19 wards and those with cancer who have had treatment put in hold.

Also, I wonder how many people posting disparaging remarks on this thread, effectively telling scared mums to be to “woman up” are actually pregnant and going through this shitshow themselves right now? Because if you’re not then you have no idea how hard it is.

They may have gone through all manner of situations and circumstances whilst pregnant or giving birth.

Did I say otherwise?

That was in response to

“ Well, the crisis is so far not passed, Iving, so we have to stick to the present and these new restrictions are there to protect the lives of patients and staff.”

I have already said that women can understand that restrictions are necessary whilst also finding it hard to adjust.

The impact of inadequate bonding could be seen as medical from a mental health perspective. The mental health of dad, baby and mum.

In the greater scheme of things, death of loved ones with nobody there, essential treatment for cancer delayed... a dad not seeing baby for a few days after birth pales into insignificance.

They may have gone through all manner of situations and circumstances whilst pregnant or giving birth.

Some of us will be going through very difficult birth situations and circumstances in addition to all this going on around us, with minimal support from partners or family.

“ My sympathy is with those unable to see or say goodbye to their dying relatives on the COVID-19 wards and those with cancer who have had treatment put in hold.”

Gosh, are people not capable of feeling sympathy for more than one group at a time? I also feel for these people, it must be horrendous. I also feel enormous sympathy for those who have had fertility treatment put on hold, for example. They aren’t in immediate danger or necessarily losing loved ones, but it must be a really hard thing to go through.

The OP was not posting in good faith. I think most pregnant women and their families will get through this ok. But there i have plenty of sympathy to go around for everyone adjusting to the difficulties presented by the pandemic

Mostums understand.How happy would you really be as a new mum,when all your family has self isolated to find out when you got home you had covid.?
You can't know if anyone else on your ward has been as careful so the fewer the better.

DH chose to stay with me

And there’s the difference. Some of us will have to deal with everything you did with no DH there for support. It’s fucking scary.

@peasoup8

You need to get some perspective because you're now catastrophising. I suggest you speak to your midwife about getting some help in developing a more positive mindset. Yes, it's shit if you're one of the few women who has a traumatic birth and you've not got your partner with you, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But it's even more shit if you, your DH or your baby catch the virus in hospital because they decide that your mental health is more important than everyone else's physical health.

Whoever posted about getting PND or PTSD if your partner wasn't present, I ink yor understanding of what causes either of these conditions is a bit ropey. Having a partner present at a traumatic birth won't prevent PTSD, and having them present at any birth won't prevent PND. I had PND with both births, one which wasn't traumatic, one which was the complete opposite. Partner present both times. Didn't prevent PND.

You can understand why the restrictions are required whilst also finding it hard to adjust to the new way of doing things. Complicated feelings are normal.

Yes, it's shit if you're one of the few women who has a traumatic birth and you've not got your partner with you, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

@Soontobe60 and as I’ve said already, I’m almost certain to fall into that category.

Peasoup8,
get friendly with the others on the ward, you wont be the only one. DH wasnt there 24hours for 7 weeks, maybe an hour at the most, i was there with a lady whose baby died, she asked me to bring my baby to see her after we left hospital which i did.
You can talk to your dh every day , most people didnt have mobiles when DS and DD were born, and even those were not allowed on the ward.

Unless there's medical complications most hospitals are offering discharge home rather than going to the postnatal ward (they always did but now they are pushing the option).

It's to protect the staff, babies and pregnant mums not about shutting men out.

If it makes you feel better then lesbian partners, grandmas and other female birth partners are also banned.

Personally I was home 8 hours after the birth. Suggesting that those 8 hours are enough to ruin the bond between father and child is a massive insult to men who couldn't be at the birth for whatever reason.

If it makes you feel better then lesbian partners, grandmas and other female birth partners are also banned.

Well, obviously...!!

Well OP did say

Interesting that dads are seen as dispensable outside of their financial capacities. I'm no MRA, but if I were male I'd be hurt at how easy dads are deleted from family life. Many studies have highlighted the importance of bonding in the first few days and weeks of life.

@nellythenarwhal oh - in that case I apologise.

@NemophilistRebel

Thank you we went home the day following the c section.

I'm due to give birth in 9 weeks and as someone who has underlying respiratory problems and has sadly been on a ventilator in the past, I am very glad these new rules are in place. I dont want to be on a ward, with the stress of peoples birth partners milling around possibly spreading it. I think people need to look at the bigger picture, yes it is upsetting my DH wont be there but surely you can see it's the right thing to do.

I would have died if my DH hadn’t been present at the birth of our first DS so, if birth partners are banned from the labour ward, I hope that women are properly looked after.

@peasoup8

My heart goes out to you, its a horrible situation for you to be in.

If my own experience can make you feel any better as I said previously the wards were actually really quiet which meant the midwives were available to help a lot more than during my previous birth.

Do you know if you are being induced or just going straight for a section?

@peasoup8 I’m not saying it wasn’t a choice for him, I was merely pointing out that at no point did it affect his or my bond with our DC.

But after the birth of my lost baby last year I was alone, it’s not nice, I know that, please speak with your Midwife about the arrangements they may have in place for birthing at your hospital. I hope all goes well for you