Dads banned from maternity wards, scans and NICU

[HatRack]

Thoughts? It's like warping back to the 50s.

It's not just dads, it's all family and birth partners so same sex couples and single mums are in the same boat and no one is in any way trying to imply that men aren't important THEY ARE TRYING TO STOP PEOPLE DYING!! Perhaps this will make some of the snowflake generation realise just how good they have it compared to their grandparents!

According to the babies documentary on Netflix, dads experience the same rise in oxytocin as mums by looking after/holding/skin to skin with their baby. It's about actually parenting once the baby has arrived. While sad, I don't think dads missing scans or not being at the actual birth will impact on bonding. I'm sure the majority of fathers would rather keep away and help keep everyone safe than risk the health and lives of pregnant women, newborns and medical staff.

I should have added I googled my local hospital trusts and for children under 16 one visitor us allowed to stay with them at a time. Now I know from my family's experience where the mum is ill or an NHS worker this is the dad.

So where are men being deleted from children's lives?

Until a child is born they are legally not a separate individual.

Where I work dads are allowed with labouring women, for limited visiting on postnatal wards and mums/dads are allowed to visit on NICU just not at the same time.

You are scaremongering

I would suspect that most Dad’s would walk over hot coals to protect the lives of their partner and their child and that’s what this is about, protecting patient lives.

The impact of inadequate bonding could be seen as medical from a mental health perspective. The mental health of dad, baby and mum.

Yes, it’s not ideal, but having a partner at your ultrasound is surely no more traumatic to mental health than not being able to see your gran or getting your highlights done at the hairdresser. Get some bloody perspective!

It's not that they are being "deleted from family life" - any birth partner (gay, straight, parent, sister, best mate, whatever) are banned.

I know of someone who was recently on life support after a bungled c section. The dad has to take the newborn home and look after it single handedly and wasn't able to visit his stricken wife at all.

This is absolute shite for everyone, but it is about protecting the health of vulnerable people.

I am pregnant and yes I'm shit scared about doing all this alone. But if I have to, I'll just have to get through it

I'm so glad I gave birth before all this 'I MUST have my man spend the night with me 24/7'. The ward was busy enough during visiting hours.

My only thought is that yes it's sad, but it's just the unfortunate time we're in right now. This too shall pass.

The impact of inadequate bonding could be seen as medical from a mental health perspective. The mental health of dad, baby and mum.

As someone in their third trimester of pregnancy with a clinical specialism in perinatal mental health- i’d much rather suffer we suffered from poor mental health from poor early bonding than poor mental health from bereavement

Get a grip.
I’m preparing to labour alone if need be. And that’s ok. Because I would rather keep myself, my baby and other people as safe as can be.
We need to be in hospital because we are the patients
Dads/grannies/other visitors or BPs do not.
End of

It's a shame but we kind of have bigger fish to fry right now

I work on a postnatal ward that can accommodate up to 44 mums and babies. Last weekend we stopped allowing dads/partners onto the ward. They were, however, allowed with the women when they were in labour or having a cs.

I was so relieved. I am trying to avoid coming into contact with as many people as I possibly can. Women are encouraged to go home straight from delivery if possible but if not, the day after. Those that need to stay beyond day 1 need a consultant review.

The ward has never been so quiet.

It is not the end of the world op and all women I have looked after have been 100% behind the policy.

It's a global pandemic, things are not 'fair' for a lot of people at the moment. Prioritising mums and babies is entirely right, and trying to protect the healthcare professionals is more important than daddy wanting to be there.

OP as you know fine well, fathers are not being seen as 'dispensable'. This measure is to protect staff and other women coming behind you. I am a midwife and have had to implement these rules, thankfully most families are very understanding. A few have reacted like you op, verbally abusing me for trying to protect myself, my family and the others in my care.

I absolutely 100% support birth partners being allowed in and I really hope it continues, our birthing rooms are huge and social distancing with the partner is not hard to achieve. The issue at clinics is small waiting rooms, small clinical rooms etc, makes social distancing impossible. Same on postnatal wards, plus all of the coming and going of partners is a massive problem.

Oh come on @hatrack, are you being funny?

The impact of inadequate bonding could be seen as medical from a mental health perspective. The mental health of dad, baby and mum.

They will have the rest of their lives to bond. How do you think dads bonded with their dc before they were allowed in the delivery room??

My friends husband went into hospital yesterday and he had an operation today. She isn’t allowed to visit him. So it isn’t just dads, it’s anyone apart from the immediate patient. People are dying without their families there. I’m sure mums will cope. My baby was taken immediately into special care and I didn’t see him for a day. 18 years later we still have a very good healthy bond.

So not every woman going into hospital to give birth has a husband/boyfriend/male partner so this is a completely batshit, bullshit post to wind people up!

DH didn't meet DD2 until she was 2 weeks old. he was away from DD1 from when she 10 days old until she 4months.

No problems with bonding. There's more to bonding than being with them 24/7 in the first days. It's the holding them when they are ill or having a sleepless night. Reading books or singing songs. Bath times and bed times. It's the little things that add up to create the bond over a period of months or years.

It must be scary to be pregnant right now... But we need to have a sense of perspective.

They're not banning them for a laugh 🙄 the need to have your partner there for a scan over potentially saving lives is ridiculous.

This is scaremongering

Dads are allowed to the birth and for a short time after birth.

Hopefully everyone having babies (me included) will be out and home as soon as possible.

DH loved his skin to skin time with last baby but still left the hospital that night to get some sleep.
I’d had a c section but midwives were there to help

My only worry this time is with knowing it’s a c section again and the shortages on midwives now that there will be less help and I might not be able to get to my baby or to the toilet

Hoping that’s not the case as otherwise they’d let people there who can help you

I should think it will be a lot more quiet & pleasant on the ward without an endless stream of visitors .... and at last a genuine reason not to have your MIL visit .

Agree ragwort

On my postnatal ward I had men watching the football loudly on their phones
I had late night deliveries of stinky Indian food into the ward by one of the men
One of the men in the daytime bought their other child in who played computer games on some handheld thing loudly

I’ve never had such little sleep in all my life.

Going home with a newborn I had far more sleep in those following days and weeks

I think I've read it all now.

I didn't see my baby for a week after birth due to many complications.

We've done just fine.

Might find the midwives have more time to give to the actual patients without all these fecking annoying 'partners' there 24/7 demanding hotel service, tea and coffee, buzzed in and out for fags, having to climb over the nonstop visitor to get to the patients.

Fingers crossed for that!