Dads banned from maternity wards, scans and NICU

[HatRack]

Thoughts? It's like warping back to the 50s.

It’s a crappy time to be pregnant but we have to protect ourselves and our newborns. I am disappointed I likely won’t have the birth I planned but DP will be with me for labour which under the circumstances seems reasonable. It’s not about the men it’s about safety of mothers, babies and staff.

And actually, the post natal experience was much nicer this time as it was so quiet and peaceful without a constant stream of visitors. I was able to establish breast feeding easier and felt much less awkward about my post operative state with just other women on the ward!

Remember this when some sort of normality returns.

YABU and inflammatory - it's a temporary situation because of the pandemic. The only vital family member at a birth in a crisis is the mother.

It will be disappointing, upsetting and hard for women giving birth that dads can't be there - I get that - but there is a very good reason. Every additional person in the hospital increases the risk to staff and other patients.

The impact of inadequate bonding could be seen as medical from a mental health perspective. The mental health of dad, baby and mum.

I’ve had a baby die and the mental health that causes far outweighs anything you are trying to goadily suggest. I’ve also been to scans alone and given birth alone. Lots of things aren’t ideal about pregnant, labour and afterwards but doing everything possible to keep everyone safe and alive is top priority.

My DF wasn’t with my mother when I was born and didn’t really see me until I left the maternity nursing home to go home. My bond with my father was wonderful.

People are dying.

In an effort to keep new mothers and their tiny babies as safe as possible during this pandemic new rules have been introduced during anti natal visits and during labour, whether that's having male partners or female partners, your mum or your best friend there.

It's not 'warping back to the 50s', for the hell of it.

It's not excluding men, for the hell of it.

It's to hopefully keep as many people alive as possible.

So many people posting so much crap on so many threads at the moment.

Hatrack

Did you just make coronavirus AND pregnancy/birth all about the menz?

ODFOD @HatRack you are creating more drama where there doesn’t need to be and stressing out pregnant ladies. Most most if not all NHS trusts are allowing dads there for labour and recovery. It’s pre and post natal they can not attended. Although this isn’t ideal Covid-19 I don’t ideal and nor is hundreds potentially thousands of people dying. Dad can bind with baby whilst they are in house on lockdown once mum and baby are home. Please stop scaremongering it’s not kind. I say this as someone facing induction tomorrow for first baby alone after 4 years of trying and ivf. Yes I want my husband there but I get it. Just be kind not ab arsehole

Aren’t a healthy mum and baby more important than hurt feelings?
Most uncomplicated births are home next day anyway.

Oh spelling mistakes galore shows how annoyed I am

I work in a neonatal unit. We have a one parents only rule, either mum or dad, the nominated parent cannot swap. This is to save lives.
We have a dad who visits his baby every day. His wife stays home with the other 2 children. They have decided this works best for them. It's mostly mums tho as they want to breast feed.
The parents are given masks to wear.
We allow mobile phones in so parents can send videos photos etc (strictly cleaned with special wipes)
We have a system set up so nurses can send photos and videos to a parents chosen email address.
We have had NO complaints, they all understand why it's being done. Its actually a really nice atmosphere.

I think it's good and will help to keep people alive.
It's not like they have to give birth without their partner, which of course some women have to anyway.

My partner missed my 4th sons birth as he went home and my son came very fast, he was born at 0022 and home by 9am the next morning and my son and his dad are very close no issues with bonding and I did fine on my own. My 3rd son was in nicu and it was hard but the less people coming and going from there the better IMO paeds where I work it’s one parent only no swapping over. It’s not being done to exclude anyone it’s being done to stop the spread to vulnerable people

And if we had a same sex couple as parents, which we frequently have, it would still be the same rule, one parent only. It's not about dads.

'Interesting that dads are seen as dispensable outside of their financial capacities. I'm no MRA, but if I were male I'd be hurt at how easy dads are deleted from family life. Many studies have highlighted the importance of bonding in the first few days and weeks of life.'

Obviously they are doing it to halve the number of people going through these areas. They can hardly ban the mother can they 😂

I mean Hat also IS an MRA.

@HatRack, ok, seeing as you think this is about gender politics rather that health, let's break this down for you.

My uncle is the most senior anaesthetist at his hospital. He's also in a vulnerable group so he's off for the next 12 weeks. My sister is a paediatric scrub nurse in the same hospital: this means she usually assists surgeons with children's operations but all routine ops have been cancelled so she's now re-deployed to obstetrics and is assisting in c-sections. She can hand over the instruments just as well, but it doesn't stop her from being nervous as hell as she's never done this before. This is all true.

Now let's imagine a scenario: many partners have attended scans, appointments and births and, over the next two weeks have unintentionally infected another third of the medical staff who are now displaying symptoms and they're all off sick. Right, your turn to give birth, OP! That elective section you were after? Sorry, short staffed. You'd like an epidural? Sorry, patient B a few beds down needs one more than you right now and there just aren't enough staff.

So, would you prefer to have everyone's partner coming along to everything and risking the above scenario, or would you prefer to give birth, not alone, because thankfully there are a reasonable number of staff who are going to take care of you, and your baby is safe and healthy but misses out on one single day of 'bonding' with their father?

At my hospital the procedures aren’t as stringent. They can be there for induction, in labour and for c sections. They can also visit after birth, once a day but can’t leave again once they are there. No partners one wards at night including for induction. These restrictions seem sensible to me and seem to strike a balance.

My concern is whether the staffing levels can cope with the needs of women though. When I had my first I had to ask for some quite basic needs to be met when my partner wasn’t there such as my catheter being taken out long after it should have been and help waking to the bathroom (they didn’t help me in the end).

I also do worry about the mental health of those who have had a traumatic time.

My hospital are aiming discharge in 2-6 hours for straight forward vaginal births so 🤞

I should add that partners are not allowed at scans or routine appointments either which seems sensible!

For any women worrying about staffing levels and assistance for new mums my experience was that the ward was so quiet as they are having people in and out quickly that there was plenty of help and support available.

That’s good to hear

When did you give birth ? @ready4abreak

My baby is currently in NICU in Glasgow. I dont have a partner but they are currently allowed in. Limit is only one parent at a time but the can take turns.

Sorry I just seen your previous post

Congratulations

How soon were you discharged after c section?

Well it’s probably not nice for the people it affects but as many other posters have said, better that precaution be in place than not right now!

Also I find your suggestion that this will cause irreparable damage to the bonding between the babies and their fathers offensive. When my twins were born in 2017 I was kept at the hospital they were delivered in and they were whisked away to another NICU miles away on the same day. I didn’t even get to cuddle them before they left.

DH chose to stay with me and it took two days post c-section to be discharged so we could go to them. I wasn’t even supposed to be discharged but the nurses on the ward knew it was my mental health at risk, so they let me go. My twins are now happy 2.4yo and there’s been NO issue with bonding for any of us.