Breaking the lockdown rules

[Pleasenocorona2020]

Me and my boyfriend live separately. We miss each other and this not seeing each other is driving us crazy. We don’t want to move In Together just yet. He wants to carry on the relationship as normal by coming to stay at mine but I’m sceptical because he is still going out to work. I work from home so have minimal contact with the world but he’s a risk as he works. Are we being silly to visit each other as normal?

@Mascotte I'm sorry to hear that you're finding it difficult too. The lockdown, lack of normal life, social contact etc is incredibly hard for me. Normal life and social contact are the things that helped me out of quite bad depression, and I am heading back that way now. Hence I have balanced up the various risk factors and have made a judgement on that basis.

I would not want to contract CV only because I wouldn't like to leave my children motherless. If I stay indoors with them all day (apart from our permitted exercise), I will be a very bad - i.e. depressed - mother. If I carry on seeing my partner, when there is no risk to either of us, everyone's lives are that bit more tolerable.

There you go OP...enjoy

Mascotte then why would you be in agreement with celan who isn't following the rules? That makes little sense.

I've been quite vocal to the posters who name-call and slap down posters for asking questions but, I can see their point. We're all having to have our lives curtailed for now - and the government has a mandate for that instruction - so to still be asking the question in the case of the OP is remarkable - and to post as celan has is just completely unreasonable.

Winding people up is cruel and that's what's happening. People are genuinely scared of losing their own lives or those of the people they love. It would take somebody very unaware or goady, to be doing that.

Yes, its fine. You are an extremely beautiful person who God has deemed more worthy than the rest of us, so you can definitely go ahead and do this. You are immune from the coronavirus too - being a special case and all that.

Absolutely not meant to be trollish, @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

When did anyone say that all posters had to subscribe to a particular point of view, even if it's something contentious?

It's hardly as if I'm saying I have CV symptoms and am merrily walking round Tesco.

There's always someone on a thread telling the OP to break up with their partner....LOL. Some people just hate the idea that others are happy together. The "He doesn't care about your health" argument doesn't take into consideration that he is probably young and (wrongly) not that worried about the virus. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

I put my family at risk every time I go shopping and then return home. But we need to eat and I already live with them. You shouldn't meet because it's not necessary contact.

I was away from my partner looking after my Mum and was due to go back this week. Havent seen my fiance in two months and can't go back until this is over so may potentially not see him in five months. I know it's hard OP but you have to stay away.

I’d say definitely go ahead, that’s perfectly fine. Why don’t you both nip and see your parents and grandparents whilst you’re at it. Actually I know, why not go stay with them for a few days too?! 🙄

celan it's just arrogance then. You're defying the lockdown that everybody else is following. It's not a whim and it's not a 'point of view', it's an absolute instruction for everybody.

You're incredibly insensitive to other people and you are putting your own wants first and foremost, even at the risk to your children living with you. Nobody will be able to stop you so there's nothing more to say.

I just wonder how many of the people condemning the OP actually live with their other half... Have some sympathy for those living on their own before you jump down her throats.

My boyfriend & his son usually stay with my daughter & I every weekend. We are missing each other loads but we wont see each other again till this is over. It would be really irresponsible.

Send him this link:

m.facebook.com/100037705611544/posts/208985980368254/

FFS

it is hard when you can't see your BF but try to see the positive it is a chance to see whether you have the deeper friendship and companionship necessary to go the distance, maybe you know this is not a long term relationship then the above doesn't matter but if you think this has a chance of being long term your relationship has to be able to cope with things like this, maybe not for this reason but there will be tough times ahead, maybe someone will be recovering from surgery and sex will be off the cards maybe someone will have to work away from home , maybe one will need to go and look after a sick parent,
No one is pretending a virtual hug is as good as a real one but lots of people are managing without hugs my sister is single and lives alone she is a community nurse, normally she has lot of contact with her best friend and her kids now nothing we live too far away to see her regularly anyway; she can't go and see my parents, my Dad is 96 he is fit at present but if he gets it none of us will see him again, I haven't seen him for 6 months we were due to go down on Monday now we are not. you are 99.9% certain of seeing BF again in a few weeks this is a test of your relationship if it can't withstand it, you have dodged a bullet

Please just stay away from each other! One my neighbours has been having visits from her new bf despite living separately and it's just so unbelievably selfish. We all have a part to play in this. We must stop thinking that the rules dont apply to us.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe if it's possible to ask this without being trollish or goady or triggering: in what way am I putting my children at risk by seeing my partner who hasn't left the house or seen anyone else for 21 days?

I run far more risk of contracting something by popping to the Co-op (as a healthy, mobile adult, I am not using a delivery slot which someone vulnerable could use). If I had food delivered, I'd be running a risk by touching something that an 'outsider' had touched.

I've seen it suggested on here that we should all be spraying our post with antibac stuff. I'm not doing that, either. So I would say that opening my post was more risky than visiting my isolated partner.

If you start going down this kind of route, you would go mad very quickly.

He wants to carry on the relationship as normal by coming to stay at mine
do you really want to carry on a relationship with someone who is so obviously stupid and selfish???

This seems to be on the lines of my neighbour who has been out all afternoon and has now got her nephew visiting for a film and sleepover. She is a very sociable person who is obviously finding lockdown difficult but unlike most other people is solving that by totally ignoring the bits she doesn’t like. It takes a lot to make me angry but am sat here seething at her wilful ignorance. Don’t do it OP. This is hard for all of us but necessary.

He puts his need to get his cock wet ahead of your life and health. Let that sink in. Seriously, who would want to carry on a relationship with someone so fucking entitled and selfish. His need to shag more important than you.

The plus point of this OP is that he has highlighted before you move in together that he doesn't have two brain cells to rub together and isn't capable of putting other people's needs before his wants.
It is useful to have this kind of info on a potential life partner.

I can see your point @celan but as you say you could get it from a trip to the shop or similar and if you did, you are then spreading it to your partner.

Celan
Very simple explanation.
He is self isolating.
You are going to the shops (fair enough. You have to eat and feed your children). You could contract Covid 19.
You could then give it to him.
He might get seriously ill and need hospital care.
He could give it to health workers.
Might well not happen but thats how contagious diseas spreads.

Yes, that's true Sally and Ink. However, exactly the same would be true if he moved in with me or the DC and I moved in with him. The risk is exactly the same.

You called your thread
Breaking the Lockdown Rules.

That is a clue.

celan, I'm actually very anti-government myself, hate doing what I'm told and quite honestly think that this is a numbers game and that a lot of this is down to luck and good fortune/good health.

That said, I'm following the rules because it's expected. Everybody is expected to do it and, if it's seen that people aren't doing it then there may be additional restrictions which I don't particularly want as it's difficult enough.

The government has said, 'live together or stay apart'. That's quite clear. I'm no BJ fan but, he's in power and it's a fact that people are dying of this virus. So, this is where it comes back to you. You're advocating - for yourself - that you will continue to see your boyfriend against the rules. What's to stop other people doing that? You say that he hasn't been anywhere... well you wouldn't know if he had or not.

There are lots of people whose mental health is suffering, there was a thread about it the other day, people just inexplicably sad. It's not a special case to be feeling sad and distressed at the moment and maybe for a long while yet.

It's insensitive to post about defying the very clear rules on this and it's winding people up hence the 'FFS' posts. I can understand why they're frustrated. It ought to be obvious to you that posting about doing what you want, in contravention, is going to cause some upset with so many people in a state of alarm at the moment.

I hope your assessment is correct but for many people it won't be a good outcome.