Worried About Coronavirus- thread 36

[TheStarryNight]

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My local MP has a rant on Facebook about why it's not a 10k pay rise for him and it's fir his operating costs of the office and staff etc.

Is 81 as compared to 76 yesterday a slight but expected rise?

It did make me worry that Boris Johnston was sitting up in bed yesterday.

There are a lot of reports of critically ill people rallying before they go into a very steep decline, and it seems to be a pattern with Covid-19.

some Covid-19 patients crash

I wonder if it’s a sign of an impending cytokine storm? As in the body’s immune response steps up, is at first effective, hence the rally, but as the response remains jammed on, the cytokines storm occurs and that’s when the crash happens.

Hope I’m wrong, but I did think “uh-oh” last night when I heard that.

more importantly though only 2 more in ICu from yesterday which is huge

I'd like some advice on whether or not I'm over-reacting to a situation.

I live with my sister and we're both in our thirties. Our mother is in her sixties with various health problems (higher risk group but not 'shielding', generally poor health). She lives alone. Usually I don't speak to her often because of the way she treated me during my childhood, but during this crisis I've been calling fairly regularly to check on her as it seems like the right thing to do. My sister gets on better with her than I do.

The last time I called, she asked if she could come to visit me because she's bored at home alone. I said no, and explained why. Today, I'm working from home and my sister knocks on the door of my room and tells me that my mother is here, now, but it's okay as she's not going to stay in the house, but go through to the back garden and chat to my sister there. Apparently she texted my sister to ask if she could visit, and getting no response because my sister wasn't looking at her phone, drove down anyway.

Am I right in saying this is not okay (and kind of deceitful as, had she asked, I'd have said no again - I don't know what my sister would have said) - or am I over-reacting and what she's doing is fine even if technically against the rules? I'm feeling annoyed and a bit worried and am planning to go around disinfecting all the door handles and such after she leaves. I'm very anxious myself (also in the higher risk group, have been going out as little as possible) and so I don't know how much that's affecting my reaction.

@CharlieTangoBanana She is acting like a 6 year old. It is time to make a stand and change her perception of how she can bully you. She made her bed.

Hi guys, in response to everything going on with the Coronavirus, I’ve collected tonnes of “thank you” messages from the British public (and I’m getting more each day!). These thank you messages are to thank the amazing NHS and wonderful key workers that are helping keep our nation running.

I’m sharing them on a brand new facebook page (www.facebook.com/cvkindness/) and on cvkindness.com/our-thanks/.
I want to create a little spot on the internet where the doctors, nurses, bus drivers, supermarket staff, and all the other wonderful key workers can come and read our gratitude towards them… and maybe lift their spirits if they need a bit of encouragement. If you have a moment, please come check out and like the page and share it with any keyworkers you know. Thanks so much!

StarryNight He's probably been treated with remdesivir and that's why he's improving. I hope it works.

@CovidThrowaway she shouldn't have done it and I'd feel the same as you.

Are the stats late again?

Covid-Throwaway. I think it’s both not okay but also understandable. By all means disinfect everything.

The short answer to this is I think is that she has missed you, and for longer than the Coronavirus has been going on. There is an opening to reconnect and she is emotionally driven to take it.

If she’s driven by some sort of “what if I never get to see my kids again” or “here’s a chance to connect emotionally we’ve never had before” feeling rather than just being bored I’d have a lot of compassion for that.

She maybe said she was bored rather than needing to connect because she isn’t good at recognising or articulating her feelings, or maybe she is shielding herself from a rejection that would cut deeper by making it sound like something mundane rather than something deeply emotional.

DH is in a slightly similar position - his dad died, his mum is vulnerable. He goes round once or twice a week with food, leaves it on the back door step and then speaks to his mum from the garden (well back) whilst she stands at either the kitchen door or window.

Dancing in the garden

People are feeling very disconnected and often like no-one is listening/responding at the moment, so someone wanting to connect with her daughters (especially one previously a bit emotionally estranged) at a time like this is understandable.

It is up to you whether you want that reconnection. If you do, maybe take a few steps back and try to think of a safer way (safer for you both) for you to reconnect. If you offered an alternative to her coming round rather than a refusal, it might make the situation more manageable.

Hope you’re right turquoisedoor. Fingers crossed.

Sorry @CovidThrowaway see my post a little bit earlier, forgot the @

Covid extreme reaction would be you say you will call the police if she does it again. And you wouldn't be unreasonable even then. Sounds like a power play, she's saying I can come into your space and there's nothing you can do about it?

Sitting up in bed in ICU is not that impressive - some folk go for a bike ride!

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/12/161228144402.htm

I've taken the "he sits!" with a pinch of salt. That could have been raising the end of the bed for a procedure, a position change, to FaceTime one of his kids, for anything. Doesn't mean he's actually well enough to have a cuppa and a game of scrabble.

I hope the man is improving, but, he's not in ICU for nothing.

sitting up makes breathing easier compared to lying flat. he could still be very ill.

Welsh numbers are reported 16 new cases 41 deaths. They have changed the timings for reporting new cases so those 16 case were in a 6 hour period numbers will be normal tomorrow apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you all for your thoughts - I'm glad that it's not just my anxiety making me think this situation isn't quite right.

@TheStarryNight You've given me a lot to think about, and I definitely think you're right to an extent. Being more in touch with her now than previously is partly out of a sense of duty, but obviously I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her, even if our relationship is difficult, and genuinely want to make sure she's okay. I can see how she would interpret that as an opportunity for emotional reconnection. I know that she's unhappy about not having a typical mother-daughter relationship with me. I thought that the longer and more frequent phone calls would help her feel more positive and less socially isolated, but maybe she's taken that as an indication that I want a much closer relationship now.

That said, @Biggerblackhole isn't far off the mark either. Wanting a connection is understandable, but turning up on the doorstep after I've told her not to visit is exactly the sort of power play she'd go for. As well as addiction issues during my childhood, she has a history of not respecting any boundary I put up and didn't really stop seeing me as an extension of herself instead of a person in my own right until after I'd gone NC in my twenties (and outright told me that most parents see their children that way!).

I guess what I need to do is have compassion for her as a person who wants a closer relationship with her daughter and is unhappy that she doesn't have it, but also stand firm with my own boundaries and not let 'being nice' get in the way - so if I've told her not to visit and she turns up anyway, I won't engage with her, but I'll let her know that she's welcome to phone or text me if she's feeling 'bored' or lonely.

DM reporting 887 deaths...

Interesting article about how all the doctors that have died so far in the UK are immigrants. Very sad and raises questions about 1) dependence of the nhs on immigrants 2) entrench racism within the nhs

www.nytimes.com/2020/04/08/world/europe/coronavirus-doctors-immigrants.html

Yes, IDS will be twitching. No benefit sanctions, on top of everything else not exactly going his way for the duration!

Sky showing 765 deaths in England taking total to 7248.
I thought yesterday’s total was already over 7000 - am I completely misremembering?

The UK figure was over 7,000. Thinking Sky is just referring to England.

entrench racism within the nhs

Why is this due to racism in the NHS. If anything’s racist, it seems to be COVID-19!

I wonder what they’ll talk about at daily briefing, might be a bit thin on the ground.