Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

The positive mental health thread:-pt 5

927 replies

tobee · 02/04/2020 19:08

How's that?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
79
IdrisElbasLeftTesticle · 09/04/2020 09:16

This chart was in an article I read this morning. I haven’t posted a link because the article itself contains discussion about current death rates, but you can see in the image how the numbers of people needing critical care in hospital have levelled off in the last few days. A chink of light at the end of this very dark tunnel.

The positive mental health thread:-pt 5
PrivateSpidey · 09/04/2020 09:20

Os anyone listening to the BBC radio request show this morning? It's across Radios 1,2 and 6 I think.

They're currently playing Bowie - "Heroes". It's quite uplifting to listen to right now.

Bunnyflop · 09/04/2020 09:36

@SchadenfreudePersonified that’s really tough and I’m so sorry for your loss.

I can’t tell you how many times I have imagined having conversations with my mum to try and work it out for a positive future- I think about it daily. What stops me is that I hear from other relatives how she has pissed them off or been selfish and I think yep, that’s why we don’t talk. This might sound off but it would have been much better for me if she had been straight up nasty, but she is a lethal mixture of absolutely lovely sometimes, volatile and nasty at others. It left me on edge the entire time.

But god do I miss the good bits and if she died I would be devastated. I even miss the smell of her.

gingerbreadslice · 09/04/2020 09:46

@Bunnyflop My mums the same she is a functioning alcoholic though sometimes she's really nice and other times she's absolutely vile to me we are ok now but it's weird because I don't trust her and every time we speak in the back of my mind I'm just waiting for her to spoil it again. It's always been like this though since I was a baby I'm 27 now and I still for some reason always feel needy or like I need her validation still. My dad is ok and we got on well just my mum is so strange just cold and really fake to me she's not like it with my siblings there's 6 of us Confused.

DianneWhatcock · 09/04/2020 10:19

@IdrisElbasLeftTesticle

Thanks for posting that graph - it's pretty positive

Hope everyone's doing ok today. My positivity for today is that I ordered an acupressure mat a while ago to try and help me sleep better (I've been sleeping terribly last few weeks). (I've posted a pic of it - hope it's worked!)

Well It arrived yesterday and I laid on it before bed and - unless it's a massive coincidence - I actually slept much better and for the first time in ages don't feel like a zombie today.

The positive mental health thread:-pt 5
Arcadia · 09/04/2020 10:21

Sorry to those if you with not nice parents 🙁. I lost my Dad at a young age but have good memories of him which makes it easier. My Mum is a bit high maintenance but her heart is in the right place.
I'm sure you can use your experiences to help with your own parenting, and I bet you're doing a much better job!

Bunnyflop · 09/04/2020 10:21

@DianneWhatcock I have that exact mat!! It’s the fucking bomb! I lay on it and within ten mins I’m chilled. I’d recommend them for everyone.

Bunnyflop · 09/04/2020 10:23

@gingerbreadslice I’m sorry about your mum. Interesting that so many of us on this thread have had traumatic problems with parents! I guess it makes us anxious people hence we are here.

DianneWhatcock · 09/04/2020 10:38

@Bunnyflop yesss!! Glad to hear that. i felt super chilled after laying on mine but I honestly was wondering if I was imagining it! But deffo slept better

Biggerblackhole · 09/04/2020 10:51

Reaching out for help here: I have long term anxiety and depression, either one can be severe on a normal day. And yet I've been relatively OK with covid so far. The anxiety caused me to notice it and prepare to some extent really early, which was probably a positive. But then a few days ago my mood began to drop.

Now I'm in a really dark place. And actually I don't know if this is really specific to Covid in which case maybe it's the wrong board to post on. I have no friends and virtually no support at any time so it's not about social contact, I don't think, or not being able to go out because I'm already very isolated, in life.

But this time I'm alone with a primary aged child, and trying to work remotely. I feel like I can't do anything right. All my child wants to do is go on the ipad, they will be on it 6, 7 hours and I feel guilty for that, I feel horrible letting them, though we do some lessons each day they will ask for it constantly and it's easier to give in. I worry about what it's doing to their brain. I can't keep up with work and end up outside conversations trying to figure out what's happened after virtual meetings, and end up with colleagues irritated with me, my boss snapped at me this morning because I asked questions trying to work out my role in something. I'm getting up early to try and work in the small hours and playing catch up later on and not getting it right. The house and garden have gone to sh*t. I was trying to get into a routine with everything and trying to do some exercise last weekend but since my mood dropped I've just eaten junk and self criticising for that. I just feel Inferior, inept. I have to be here for my child but I have such a dark negative train of thought. We are safe and well and I should be grateful but my mind is just shouting at me, about how I have no value and noone would miss me, I'm more of a burden than a help to anyone.

I know it will pass, it always does but I'm struggling to cope today.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 09/04/2020 11:04

Biggerblackhole, depression is something that's such a complete brute to shift once it has settled in.... Churchill called it "the black dog" when he got it, and said it sat on his shoulder and growled and grumbled.

Maybe thinking of something as absurd as that would be a slight help? The gloom as a rather large and clumsy black dog with huge feet that sits in all the most inconvenient places between you and whatever you are doing, and probably farts too? I might make you laugh at it if you "saw" it that way sometimes...

And you know, I think your child really would miss you; you have enormous value there.

Have an unmumsnetty hug)

Arcadia · 09/04/2020 11:13

@Biggerblackhole it sounds like you are coping amazingly well in such a difficult situation juggling work, home and childcare. I bet you're doing a better job at everything than you think you are.
I too got anxious early on and feel I 'saw it coming' way before colleagues etc realised, so have burnt out of the anxiety phase a bit, but the low feelings inevitably set in after a period of intense stress.
I feel I could head downwards too.
Hang on in there remember it's always darkest before the dawn. You have got through bad times before and you will get through this and be stronger.
Thanks

RosesandIris · 09/04/2020 11:21

@DianneWhatcock

Please could you link to the acupressure mat? Thanks

gingerbreadslice · 09/04/2020 11:24

@Bunnyflop Oh I agree it really does add to it, I'm the most anxious out of all my siblings regarding most things and they think it's funny but when you boil it down I can understand now why I am like this I've had a few years of counselling and can see it now.
Before I thought I was crazy or something but I've accepted that's how she is and nothing can change her, if it could would of happened years ago.
Even just yesterday my brother said something sarcastic to me about something I'd told my mum and I realised she's still talking shit about me, it just is what it is sadly .
Sorry to hear about your past too Flowers

gingerbreadslice · 09/04/2020 11:26

@Biggerblackhole it'll pass in the times we are living in now I don't begrudge any child on the tablet for hours, their lives have been turned upside down whatever pleases them within reason just let them do it. All you can do is try your best and it sounds like your doing just that. Don't be so hard on yourself things will get better as you said they always do. Keep posting on here we're all feeling the same most days Flowers

gingerbreadslice · 09/04/2020 11:33

I'm currently sitting in the front room with the hoover running in the corner making noise absolutely not being used other than to help the baby get off to sleep.
I'm scared it'll blow up in a minute Shock
He keeps looking at me with one eye open to make sure i am still here too.

The positive mental health thread:-pt 5
DianneWhatcock · 09/04/2020 11:47

Awww @gingerbreadslice his little face 😆🥰

@RosesandIris

Because I'm a technophobe I don't know how to share the link 😳 however here is a screenshot to show what it's called and the amazon seller

The positive mental health thread:-pt 5
SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/04/2020 11:52

This might sound off but it would have been much better for me if she had been straight up nasty, but she is a lethal mixture of absolutely lovely sometimes, volatile and nasty at others. It left me on edge the entire time.
This was the problem with my parents - everything would go swimmingly for a while, then suddenly all hell would break loose and usually I didn't know why.

It wa sas though you'd been petting a little squeaky guinea pig, and then suddenly it turned round and savaged your throat. I didn't know if I was coming or going.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/04/2020 11:53

What a lovely baby ginger

The expression of disapproval on his little face is priceless! Grin

gingerbreadslice · 09/04/2020 12:15

@SchadenfreudePersonified I can relate to that it's horrible I think that's why I'm so jumpy too

gingerbreadslice · 09/04/2020 12:15

@SchadenfreudePersonified Thank You he is a very serious looking baby Grin

RosesandIris · 09/04/2020 12:32

This might sound off but it would have been much better for me if she had been straight up nasty, but she is a lethal mixture of absolutely lovely sometimes, volatile and nasty at others. It left me on edge the entire time.

This is a very accurate description of my mother. It’s led to me not speaking to her for seven months now. I just can’t take it anymore.

RosesandIris · 09/04/2020 12:32

Thank you @DianneWhatcock

Blerg · 09/04/2020 12:53

Thanks for that link @IdrisElbasLeftTesticle, I had been wondering why I hadn’t seen that, especially as I read the news constantly!

@Biggerblackhole that all sounds really challenging, keep sharing here. I was also very anxious early on and feel burned out and depressed. I have PMDD and the stress of it all has made it worse this month. Be gentle with yourself about what gets you through. I had a CBT call today and usually focus on anxiety, but today we looked at depression. I’d be happy to share some links if anyone would be interested (here or PM). I was very sceptical about CBT but it has surprised me and is helping me function.

Biggerblackhole · 09/04/2020 12:56

Thank you askingquestions, arcadia, and gingerbread that is a good way to look at it. I've taken a hot bath, feeling drained. Said I need some time away from work and a bit afraid of the consequences but it's a large organisation and they know of my mental health so I don't think they can punish me too thoroughly for doing that.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread