Picking DD up - urgent

[takedphome]

DD23 lives in a town 2 hours away. She has been furloughed. We really want her back for her safety. She also desperately wants to come home to us (her parents and DSis). Can her DP drive her to us? What are the risks involved? She lives with her DP.

Itallgoingpetetong

She wasn't a poor poster in the least, and I'd happily tell her exactly what I thought of her woe-is-me 'you made me break the rules because you were 'orrid to me' post to her face.

"But in this case the people in danger are OP and her family"

My god. You really believe that don't you?

the faceofboe , if they’ve split up I think it’s unreasonable to expect people to stay in a potentially unpleasant environment for the duration .

@Floralnomad It won’t be nice in a hospital bed with coronavirus either. Unless there is violence involved, get on with it

If she comes to you and stays with you, then that seems reasonable as long as that is the only move. I would personally isolate her in her room in your house for first seven days as a precaution.

"I'm not going to give you any details but just make some vague comments about safety, then expect you to back up the decision I've already made".

Why exactly are you posting OP?

As a mum I would go and get my daughter but I’d be saying that she can’t change her mind until lockdown is over. What I saw the difference between this and a child going between mum and dads house for their visitations?

And as for some university halls of residence, my niece was told to pack up and be out by the end of March only I last week so my sister had to go and get her.

@UnaCorda @PotholeParadise I simply meant that there were hundreds of No’s & the poor poster bit was because it got quite nasty. Op seems to be getting quite a few “oh yes, go get her” which I find baffling.
I was actually hoping someone would link to that thread so op could see the responses, I can’t find it.

There are a whole bunch of people on MN who are catastrophising. Ignore them.

560 people died in the UK yesterday. London is about to open a 2000 bed hospital. Huge mortuaries are being erected around London. We have a global pandemic causing the globe's economies to be tanked - if that's not a catastrophe I don't know what is.

From The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (England) Regulations 2020

6.—(1) During the emergency period, no person may leave the place where they are living without reasonable excuse.

(2) For the purposes of paragraph (1), a reasonable excuse includes the need—

(l)to move house where reasonably necessary;
(m)to avoid injury or illness or to escape a risk of harm

@takedphome, either or both of the above are the ones that may be relevant to you and your situation (and you are under no obligation to share the minutiae of your daughter's circumstances with Mumsnet, of course!)

For now at least, the law, unlike much of Mumsnet, recognises the need for some flexibility in certain circumstances.

Won’t go into the details but she wants to come home and stay home

Unless those reasons are for her own physical safety she stays put.

The uni have said they won't charge for next term's rent if all her stuff is out by this Friday.

The cynic in me thinks this is why some unis have given students guidance against clearing out their belongings from flats.

Why are you even asking if you're going to do it anyway.

But in this case the people in danger are OP and her family. If she wants to take the risk, that's her look out if her DD passes COVID onto her family (or vice versa)

No, the whole point is that the NHS is going to be overwhelmed so we need to reduce the number of people contracting the virus. The OP or her family could take up a ventilator needed by someone else.

OP I’m sorry but it’s really annoying when people start threads then are so vague. The reason your daughter wishes to come home is crucial information.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras 4,000 beds!

I would personally isolate her in her room in your house for first seven days as a precaution.

Okaaaaay, and then catch it on day 8-14? Good plan

Is she OK with the risk of contaminating you, your husband and potentially kill you both? If the answer is yes, then go ahead.

Sorry to be extra blunt, but that is the risk with moving households. If she is in any danger at her home, by any mean, take her home. Maybe isolate he in her bedroom for 14 days.

You seem determined to do it so I guess it will happen. Good luck to all of you.

It's fine

It'll be fine

Napoleon as he marched on Russia at the onset of winter. It's fine

General Haig on the eve of the battle of the Somme. It'll be fine

I think that uni advice is so that the students who had cleared their flats before the lockdown can get a refund.

Plenty of other unis have said that they will refund the final term's rent even without the room being cleared so it isn't a cynical move.

Of she's at risk, go and get her. Now.

Follow sensible self-isolation precautions once she's back.

I bet by dinner time this evening DD is safely tucked up at home with a good dinner and mum and dad and sister all catching up on the sofa....everyone happy. there is only a couple of things spreading faster than this virus..selfishness and greed...

whitesoxx

You're right, it is 4000, though I believe only 2000 being opened now, with another 2000 if needed.

I thought if I said 4000 I'd be accused of hyperbole and catastrophising.

Jesus - op is NOT going to get her. Because she's in no danger. Obviously. The walls of "go get your baby" are doing my ducking head in.

The daughters boyfriend is driving her back.

Stupid stupid and selfish.

I'm off for a bath

ivykaty44

Thank you. Its a rubbish time to have someone die. Its never a good time, but the whole CV19 thing just maes everything so much more challenging.

I agree - Different situation yes, but I did say it depends why the daughter is wanting to come home. And the Government did say it was possible to combine households if it was for the whole duration of lockdown, albeit the examples they used where couples who did not cohabit normally and students away at university/school.

We used our judgement - MIL was more at risk of being vulnerable and lonely, and sad if left home alone than us having her come here and merging the households for the duration. This is despite me being in an at risk group to, though not of the needing the letter group.

I guess BIL being here isn't essential - he could technically have done a 6-7 our round trip to be with his father whilst he died. But we used our judgement, and knowledge that we'd all been sensible and self distancing, so the risk was much lower than of him driving home when tired and upset.

Which is why I say 'it depends.' It depends on what the daughter wants to move back home for the duration and is the risk can be restricted when it first happens. The OP needs to use her judgement of the actual situation, which she is unable to share with us.

Also, let's be honest, the chances are, she had a fight with her boyfriend and is petulantly moving out. Are you sure she won't want to go back in a week after they talked on the phone?

Sorry if there is something more sinister going on, but I suppose if she was in any sort of danger, you wouldn't ask, you would go and pick her up.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras very true.

You'd have to drop a bomb on their house for it to class as a catastrophe apparently

Universities are a mess over this. Most students do not live in University Halls. They live in private halls and privately rented houses. These students are also largely waiting to hear about exam formats and moderation, as indeed are their academic staff.

Government needs to give clear guidance. Ha ha.