In despair over older relatives

[Blueceramic]

Just off the phone with parents trying to get them to take the advice to avoid social contact as much as possible seriously, was met with the response that they don't want to stop living their life and that they are still fit and young ( both are pushing 70 with underlying health issues). Other older relatives much the same, apparently they are immune and I'm overreacting

Tiger “ We should have total house arrest, not half arsed measures, otherwise there’s no point.”

Would you feel the same if there’s no vaccine for a year or more?

@daisypond - I think the CofE will start doing services online or other ways. We're CofE and just waiting for the announcement.

My parents have gone the other way and bunkered down with about 3 months worth of supplies. I'm pleased. My DF has a conspiracy theory though that it's all about wiping out the over 70s - they will be locked away and then once they stick their heads out in 3 months they will all be wiped out as they will have developed no immunity. Sigh.

He's also got a conspiracy theory that this is a man-made virus spread by a group who want to dissolve western society/economy.

He's normally pretty sane..... Still, at least they're heeding warnings. DH's side of the family however, not so much...

Funny, my elderly relatives have all bought masses of wine and literally shut themselves in their homes since February. They don’t know how to Skype or FaceTime but I am hoping this will be the incentive because they’re now saying they feel very isolated and lonely.

My SIL isn’t happy as PIL have told her they will no longer be having her children everyday and most weekends

I get really annoyed with this, particularly when people say they haven't got any choice. What would they do if GP weren't here? Which they may not be soon because of their selfish behaviour.

I'd rather get into debt than put my parents at risk.

@SnoozyLou she sulking because she’s got to cancel a weekend away this weekend as she’s now got no childcare. No thought for her parents. Selfish to the extreme.

I’m so glad to see this thread.
You start to feel like it might only be your ‘D’M who seemingly has no respect for others or her own health. Regardless of the fact that she had TB when she was little, has permanent scarring to her lungs and still smokes.

Mind you she never watches the news and gets all her information about anything from the Daily Fail so I shouldn’t be surprised really.
Hopefully as a PP pointed out once things actually start shutting down and she sees that with her own eyes she’ll take some notice.

@Connie222 My heart bloody bleeds for her!

Selfish generation

I am furious about it. My (normally wonderful and lovely) Nan who is 85 is refusing point blank to adhere to any kind of social distancing rules.

The thing is, in doing this, they're making it worse for themselves and everyone else (and I speak as someone told to isolate too). But they'll end up with people out on the streets to enforce it and not being able to go out at all.

Stick to your guns people and protect yourselves, if other people don't want to listen... Well upon their own heads (lungs) be it 🙈

@fairylightsandwine My late sister had CF, you must be absolutely terrified. I hope you stand firm with anyone who tries to put your DS health in jeopardy.

Selfish generation

FFS. Just stop that. Threads like this make me sick. DH 70, me mid sixties and we have cancelled the following...

train tickets to see adult DCs. Theatre tickets. Holiday of a lifetime etc etc

Posting like this just makes it a young versus old thread. EVERYONE I know in our age group are adhering to no social contact. And we know a lot of people. I will go and get food. My DH will stay at home.

MNers... your relations may be selfish gits but there are very very many 'old' people who are socially aware, computer literate, (I have 3,000 twitter followers!) have a brain, and have a social responsibility

So please stop saying the whole generation is selfish.

You know, I realise that the majority of people on this thread have posted out of frustration and worry for people they love but to be quite honest I’m coming to the conclusion that the over 70s are being set up as scapegoats in the UK.

The plan to totally isolate over 70s was floated (leaked?) days ago but what has been put in place to actually facilitate them isolating? Because there are threads popping up on here about online deliveries being cancelled and no delivery slots available for a week, there have been supermarkets running out of essentials and elderly people sobbing in shops because they can’t get a roll of toilet paper! Right now there’s a thread from a long term poster with disabilities desperately asking where she can get help .

Is it really any wonder that the elderly are confused and reluctant about such an extreme measure when there has been no reassurance that their basic needs can be met and for the past few days the impression has been very much that those under 70 will just carry on as normal? Not everyone lives close to willing and able adult dc and despite the belief of some MNers, the entire “boomer” generation are not sitting on pots of cash to pay for help or living in roomy houses with big gardens where they could sit on the deck and get some fresh air.

At the same time as they’re being judged by some as selfish, there are are plenty of under 70s who can’t conceive of making (much easier) changes in their daily lives - see threads asking if people will be going to pubs and restaurants, claiming it’s not possible to isolate teens and complaining that they can’t possibly entertain their own dc if clubs and soft play close.

Reading some comments on MN it’s starting to seem like some people think only the over 70s are at risk of taking up ICU beds and if they can be isolated everyone else can go on as normal. It’s bollox but some of the vitriolic posts I’ve seen over the last few days really make me wonder if the UK is being primed to point the finger in one direction when the shit hits the fan. It would make it easier to then declare that the elderly are on their own...

@AutumnRose1 maybe not. The thing is, no one really has the answer, as it’s all unprecedented.

WhereverIMayRoam

A voice of reason. Thank you

The UK is being primed to point the finger in one direction
Maybe but then again we don't have the facilities to support large numbers of people suffering from acute respiratory distress and (with all other variables held equal) the older you are the weaker your health is, do people really understand that they may have to be left to suffocate?

Roussette. I’ve actually been finding it upsetting to read some of the comments over the last few days and I’m not even in the UK. I do think most on this thread are posting out of worry and frustration as I said earlier, but it’s a bit to see on MN how easily some can be turned against another group, no thinking or analysis required.

Selfish generation

Hang on you can't brandish people selfish just like that, people are unsure dont want to be isolated in their homes etc etc but hardly selfish!

WhereverIMayRoam

Yes, me too. As if my generation didn't feel invisible enough without being slated as the whole lot of us are selfish.

I know some posters on here are frustrated and worried about their elderly relatives not adhering to the social distancing advised. But to suggest that a whole generation are 'selfish' is too much, and I'm very angry about that.

As I said, everyone I and DH know are staying in whenever humanly possible. The most I do is go to buy food, and walk across the fields when I don't see a soul. DH and me are taking this far more seriously, I bet, than some on here.

UYScuti Yes I know but the UK aren’t alone in that are they? No country can unfortunately. The UK government messaging hasn’t been good on this with their carry on as normal but lock up the over 70s approach. People get to buy into it as a simple solution but the reality is that money and services will be needed and so far I haven’t seen anything about how this can be made work.

Brand not brandish,

I'm struggling with the in laws, late 70s, MIL has high BP, FIL a serious long condition, they are continuing as normal with shops, church etc so given up on that.

But the issue I have is with them wanting to visit and see the DC, who have been in school missing etc, one of them just had a teacher off with symptoms.

Very difficult as one of the DC has a birthday this weekend and also mother's day.

I'm guessing have to let DH deal with it, they are his parents after all, but I will still feel terrible if we wee them and infect them with it.

i guess it is an informed choice for them to continue to visit, but I really wan tot just say no visits for the next 12 weeks.

I think you need to sit them down and tell them about the exponential growth, their chances of dying or needing hospital treatment, how that could kill other people, the fact that soon the issue may be rather that there is no hospital treatment for anyone over 60. Tell them about the way people in Italy are slowing drowning. They won't be made comfortable, there will be no facilities for that.

Ask them to sign a waiver refusing medical treatment should It be available, Ask them how many other times the world has gone into lockdown, New York closed etc, and it turned out to be an overreaction. That would be never.

Frighten the hell out of them. They need it if they are not complying.

Same here.

Think we are snowflakes for not wanting to be out. And if they get it, well it doesn't matter because they've lived their lives - that's what 83 yr old FIL said (triple heart bypass previously)..he was looking at bargain breaks abroad last week and said
"You can't let this rule your life"

I was in co-op today and one woman was joking about all the fuss and seemed really surprised there were no eggs/washing up liquid/flour/paracetomol.

Afraid we need a nanny state for all groups - the employers who won't let employees wfh, the gym goes, playcentre spreaders, defiant parents....