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Original poster

In despair over older relatives

185 replies

Blueceramic · 17/03/2020 08:55

Just off the phone with parents trying to get them to take the advice to avoid social contact as much as possible seriously, was met with the response that they don't want to stop living their life and that they are still fit and young ( both are pushing 70 with underlying health issues). Other older relatives much the same, apparently they are immune and I'm overreacting Sad

OP posts:
MrsPMT · 17/03/2020 17:19

Absolutely, my concern for older relatives not following advice is for how ill they might get when and if they catch it. Younger people are much less at risk (unless they have health problems, in which case I 'd be equally concerned about them).

BMW6 · 17/03/2020 17:20

My sister who has a hotel had a young family with their two children in her restaurant for lunch today...........

mondaypolomint · 17/03/2020 17:22

Well said, but sadly most of these posters are sat on their high horses and can't see beyond their own noses so resort to simplistic generalisations rather than fact

*For god's sake. There are irresponsible in every age group. You are talking bollocks. We are this age group. Everyone we know, and we know a lot of people, are social isolating.

What about those carrying on with their lives as normal of your age group?

I'm sick of the ageism on MN. Go and sort your relatives out MNers. My adult kids know I'm responsible. Stop demonising a whole generation.*

SonEtLumiere · 17/03/2020 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Orangeblossom78 · 17/03/2020 17:27

Well yes, I mean I would feel better if they self isolated but guess need to let that go, just let them do as they wish really. Not easy is it but they are adults not children and they are well informed form the news etc.

guess it is their choice to take risks etc

Topseyt · 17/03/2020 17:28

I am relieved that my parents are being sensible over this. They are in their mid-eighties with underlying health conditions, one of which is COPD (my Dad) and are largely self-isolating now.

They aren't particularly happy about it (that is allowed), but they are generally staying home and not going out. My sister and I do not live close to them but have both offered to arrange shopping deliveries (if possible, and if the now elusive slots can be arranged) as they don't do computers or internet. Their cleaner and other local groups are offering help too.

I did worry that we would have to have the same conversation with them that others on here have had, but we haven't. So far, so good. Four months is a long time though.

I guess it helps a bit that they are generally home bodies and not particularly big socialisers, but they still do have a fair number of friends so it isn't easy.

Connie222 · 17/03/2020 19:37

I just FaceTimed my 84 year old dad, who has had three lots of cancer in the past five years.

I thought I was getting though to him but today he went out for lunch and shopping with all the other people in his over 65’s housing (they are all over 80) as they had told him he was being daft staying indoors.

I’m fucking speechless.

Connie222 · 17/03/2020 19:39

It’s all my fault apparently as I can’t travel up to see him so I’m making him lonely.

Mrsjayy · 17/03/2020 19:56

The Church of England is suspending services:

The church of Scotland have. Done the same.

Orangeblossom78 · 17/03/2020 20:09

We;ve got mothers day and a DC birthday this weekend.

FIL sarcoidosis (severe) later 70s, MIL same age and high blood pressure.

Told DH well son;t be seeing them this weekend, his reply was 'well that's up to them isn't it'.

I despair with this. Feel like saying fine, you take the DC (who have been in school) to see them. and I will stay here. Stressful

Orangeblossom78 · 17/03/2020 20:09

won't be seeing them I meant

Porcupineinwaiting · 17/03/2020 21:21

Well my mum and quite a few of her friends seem to have had a think overnight and have got with the program.

Now just need to tackle my FiL and BiL. FiL keeps going shopping because BiL, who is supposed to shop for him, wont buy him the nice biscuits and cakes he likes (too unhealthy apparently). I could bang their heads together!

Thisvirusisawful · 17/03/2020 22:58

I am 70, and I love to go out every day, it's good for my mental health. But even better for my mental health is knowing that I'm doing all I possibly can to protect myself, my husband, and the general public. I have plans to sort out my house and little garden. I have a spare room that is a tip because it's not so easy for me to get stuff into the loft. I expect to end up with bags of stuff packed up ready for the charity shop for when I'm allowed out. I will not be going to shops cafes pubs restaurants etc. My neighbour has offered to get shopping if I need it, but my freezer is full and I can manage for a while.
I get so angry with the people who will not be sensible and follow guidelines.

Wonderful poster ❤️

zafferana · 18/03/2020 07:21

I spoke to my 71-year-old DM yesterday, after both DB and step-dad asked me to. She was determined to continue as normal up until very recently. However, I was pleasantly surprised that she seems to have changed her tune. I think it was less my intervention and more that her good friend, who is ridiculously sociable normally, has completely locked down at home and invited her to come over with her own flask of coffee and sit 2m away for a chat! I'm very grateful to this friend, because my DM is very stubborn and hates people who 'make a fuss'. So now all four of my DPs/steps are self isolating, as is my aunt, aged 78. I've promised them all regular calls (I live 100 miles away and have no intention of visiting), I've set up a camera on my computer so we can Skype if they want to.

Orangeblossom78 · 18/03/2020 09:08

This comment is apt, in the Times today

Sir, Some of your older correspondents (Mar 17) seem outraged at proposed self-isolation for over-70s. However, the restriction isn’t solely for their benefit. If older people get Covid-19 they are far more likely to end up in hospital. This increases the burden on the health service, places doctors and nurses under additional risk of infection and decreases the availability of life-saving treatment for younger patients.
Dr Jo Deverill
Consultant in emergency medicine, Sunshine Coast, Queensland

LucheroTena · 18/03/2020 10:33

People who ignore this not only risk their own lives but risk

  • spreading it to others
  • overwhelming the NHS
  • infecting healthcare workers
  • infecting other patients when they need admitting to hospital
  • reducing availability of staff to deliver other urgent treatments. For example where I work we are restricting cancer treatments to cope with Covid.

It’s selfish behaviour and unacceptable. It needs to become mandatory and punishable.

zafferana · 18/03/2020 10:56

Thing is though, while we as a family are practising social distancing and cancelling any non-essential social contact, it all seems pretty pointless when DS1 is at a secondary school with approx. 800 others (plus teachers and other staff) and DS2 is at a primary with around 300 other DC, staff and support personnel. Here I am wondering if I should cancel my physio and hairdresser appointments, while I cheerfully hug and kiss people who have been mingling with hundreds of other people all day. It just seems so pointless for me and other parents to bust a gut in all other areas of our lives.

daisypond · 18/03/2020 11:28

I cheerfully hug and kiss people who have been mingling with hundreds of other people all day.
Eh? Who are you hugging and kissing? And stop it.

zafferana · 18/03/2020 12:01

My children!

Thistlepicker · 18/03/2020 12:11

I’d like to single out elderly Catholics here. All mine are refusing to stop going to Mass and have upped it to daily now, but “we don’t do the sign of peace” so that’s ok. And my mother has taken to wearing rubber gloves all the time which means that she’s dipping her glove in the Holy Water font and then blessing herself with it.

And speaking of Holy Water, there’s a LOT of it being sprinkled. I don’t know where they’re getting the refills from but Our Lady’s blue screw top crown has developed a leak, it’s been on and off that often.

My elder folks are all in their 70s/80s, educated and with underlying conditions. None of this matters however, because under pressure they revert back to the old ways, and feel the best protection is a good strong Novena.

Mother of God.

madcatladyforever · 18/03/2020 12:14

Are they really being this selfish and daft? They will not get ventilator preference in my hospital.
My parents haven't come outside for weeks. Mind you I had to tell them a few horrific stories from work. That did the trick.

madcatladyforever · 18/03/2020 12:15

It’s selfish behaviour and unacceptable. It needs to become mandatory and punishable.

It is, it's punishable by death.

BearBearBearBear · 18/03/2020 12:38

My grandad is really old and frail and not very well. He has a CT scan booked for tomorrow and they're still going to the hospital. They're taking hand san so will apparently be fine. It can be rearranged but apparently I'm being a nutter.

daisypond · 18/03/2020 12:49

@BearBearBearBear
Of course he has to go to hospital for his scan! That is essential.