30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

Ladies, ladies, we ALL deserve baybees for different reasons. I always thought the Palace was a place for the blackest of black humour where we could say & do anything. Like the Tree of Trust (what film was that?).

wild - I have a slight touch of the ginge in my family so can I be Rita Fairclough?

mrsg forgive my ignorance, I do not understand your medical shenanigans. However, it sounds rubbish. Am thinking of you, x

I'm currently wasting my day off waiting for the farking electrician to mend my kitchen lights. Was due 9.30 - 10. I rang at 11, he'd been to the wrong house! Am I safe to let him loose on my electrics? He's also managed to screw up my plans to meet the boyf for lunch. Fecking workmen, tosser cunt.

The boyf is worse at this 2WOOLFing that I am. Keeps asking if I feel pregnant & what are the first signs. He wasn't impressed when I said "missed droid". However his little eyes lit up when I said increased boobage size. He has decided that its his 2WOOLF role to inspect boobage size.

I iz getting confused with name changes

So, now that I've missed a cosy lunch with the boyf am now off to heat up some baked beans - culinary genius!!

Laurie my OM opened the door to me last night at midnight (reeling drunk) and looked at my belly (swollen with merlot and peanuts) and remarked, "Great. My son will be born a junkie."

I'm going to google how many DPO you get an implantation bleed. I likes to have a good solid reason to check my gusset.

(Sorry 'bout the namechange btw. Woulda been recognised in an instant by the auld fella and didn't think it fair...)

Lorry I wish TG was like your bloke... if I start symptom spotting he just raises an eyebrow and says tactful things like 'well, I doubt you pregnant this month' and then wonders why I am wailing like a banshee.

lol @ junkie baby.

Oh, don't worry about the name change, my boyf doesn't know I'm obsessed with MN (actually he prolly does, far better at compooter stuff than me). I'm going to keep my name just wear a comedy glasses / nose / tache disguise.

poopoo not sure which is worse actually. He's like a kid on a car journey constantly asking "are we there yet".

Very interesting to hear how other people's boyfs are taking to this whole thang. In my case, the boyf is blissfully unaware of my newly discovered liking for MN, my scary knowledge of all things CM and timing related, not to mention my quiet determination. He is on board, but choosing not to think about it until he has to. In his mind we are more TT C-ing what happens...

He would faint, I think, if I produced my shiny new BBT thermometer (course I got one - COURSE I did.)

So I haven't unleashed the madness on him yet. It will come a few months down the line no doubt...

Word of caution witty - keep that madness under wraps. I launched mine at the OM full-throttle (we SHARE EVERYTHING and he can READ MY THOUGHTS blah blah blah). end result - total terror of the bedroom. Lucky if I got an affectionately ruffled fringe. never mind a week of frantic SWI. Only sorted it all out once I shut the hell up about it all...

Yup, prolly a good tip that! I sense that he would be rather knocked out by it, so I'll keep that in mind Sensitive souls, these boys.

Head I found MrC was unable to ahem "perform" when I have unleashed the menkul demand to be shagged - "I am not a performing monkey" was one response. FFS he has one job to do but I also try as much as possible to keep him in in the dark re dates and peak eggyness!

Glad not just moi Pepsi. Did cause lots of ishoos. And tears and snot and shouting etc. Have Learnt My Lesson and no mishtake.

Yes, that's something to bear in mind. Hard though - not sure it's going to be possible to suddenly, but subtley, become an unreasonably demanding bedroom minx, without revealing why... But none the less, I know you are right. I'll try and avoid the performing monkey scenario Cokie...

You could always head down my baby-making route, and force the poor bastard to wank in a pot, before having his sperm injected into the egg...?

Oh man. Why did I pick the ER episode with the 22 week baby in it?

Muse

Sorry Drom - it is all relative of course. I'll shut up with my non-existant complaints. Fingers crossed for you though!

By the way. How come none of you have commented on my fabulous hair yet? I have had it all cut off like Sienna Miller. Oh yes.

Sorry, Wittles, that wasn't a barb, honest. This is the complaint space and we all have different levels of bobbins going on. Just wanted to join in!

Muser, sweetie, this is the internets. I can't see your fabulous hair. Is like the Buffy episode when she was invisible and had a great new hair cut, no? But obviously you look gorgy.

Hey, weird... I watched that episode last night! Someone lent me the ENTIRE box set of all the Buffys and I am on series 6... Hurrah for Buffy. Recently relived the glory of the musical episode as well.

MrsG I can't bring myself to google a molar pg, but it sounds awful. Fishslaps and hairstrokes to ya, m'dear. Hope you are being ultrasupported by Mr.G. Take good care.

Camelina my doc usually does half and half ICSI and without on couples with male factor, but it's really no different for you than normal "crazy straw". Here's a toast to many many embs being produced and the quickest of all waits. (solitare, anyone?)

Headwaxer a shower might have been a wise idea. I completely agree with Cunty, there's no way the little bundle of cells absorbed your lushiness last night - don't worry a second about that. Besides, I think it's documented science that all bad habits and addictions are passed down from the father's side.

Oh Hawaii . That is BOLLOCKS. Just big hanging sweating hairy cheesy balls. And I'm sorry. I'm going to lay off any false-hoping

ShinyOne I am so very, very, very sorry. Fucksticks.

HCS fuck shit piss bollocks wank. etc.

HCS here, I heated up this cider to nuclear fission tongue-burning temperature just for you. It has a straw and everything.

NB straw fell out of the hair of the sturdy yokel delivering it - you can have him too if you want.

figgy BESH how's the puppy?

Crock of gin, sharpened choccies, and scalding cider! Nice touch, I'm impressed. Loving the violence & sustenance combined.