30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

MOrning ladies.

Sorry to hear the droid got you Aries.

I'm 33. Throughout my 20s, said I never wanted kids. Towards the end of my 20s, said, I'm not ruling them out but I don't think I want them, and then a series of events, such as my BF having her 3, and a general feeling of there must be a bit more to life than career and stuff lead us to where we are now. And now I really want one.

Sent the Australia application in - not heard anything other than an acknowledgement email.

Morning all. Medee how exciting about the job.

Muser am very jealous of greek holiday. We have a week off in May too, although we will be spending it in my parents caravan in Dorset. Almost the same.

Aries I never wanted children, in fact even asked GP about being sterilised in my twenties. I met TG when I was 33, got married at 34 and clock started ticking all of a sudden. I got duffed 5 months after coming off the pill that time, the result being the utterly gorgeous Iris, at age 35. If anything, the broodiness is much stronger this time - probably because its taking so long (we're on cycle 2-fucking-3, bah). I've gone from wanting no children, to wanting 4, desperately. And probably not enough time to do it all since I am 38. Well that and the fact TG has sworn he will get a vasectomy after no2. We WILL get there

Hi everyone. No time to read posts as I am away for weekend, but had to pop in to say the fucking droid has arrived. WTF!! I'm not due til FRIDAY, but at least it explains huge gazoombas since last weekend.

I am sticking with my theory that the mass of progesterone cream up the foof prevents the droid from descending, rather than from arriving.

Last month droid didn't appear til cd31 and now it's arrived CD22!

No chance this is implantation bleed either. Red red krovvy as Alex and his Droogs would say, and period pains beginning. It also explains why I was crying down phone at the boyf yesterday.

And I can't start my ivf because the cubes at Barts still haven't sorted my hysteroscopy! Waaaiil!

Ooops Sorry, my phone had not loaded today's message, So I thought my post was the first of the day, rather than actually me barging into a conversation with a big moany me me me!

Arse biscuits Cho, that is really crappy news.

Hi BESHlies. Sorry if I don't respond to all - I bin away wiv work for a day or so and trying to catch up on y'all...

Re. wanting baybees always thing: I never ever ever ever did. EVER.

I'm the youngest of a large family and have ten nieces and nephews. The first was born when I was 5. Motherhood, to me, looking like one endless round of post natal depression, misery, drudgery, poverty, marriage break-down, loneliness, and boredom. My sisters (though adored, obviously) are utterly different from me in ever respect so not really role models. I wanted a life a thousand miles away from a 3 bed house in the suburbs with a garden big enough for a pile of cheap plastic toys, and mother-and-baby groups being something to look forward to, and being really excited about having a fucking massive quilted navy bag to keep all your fucking nappies and changing equipment in. (I know this sounds really offensive but I just REALLY need to convey how much I LOATHED everything to do with motherhood). I wanted London, academia, bright lights, high heels, filthy conversation in low bars, trips to the theatre, all that biz.

So yeah, when I married (at 20!) it was 'No Kids, right?' and he agreed (only now do I know that he really wanted children and how much he must have loved me to marry me anyways....). Then out of the blue about 4 years ago I was PUNCHED in the stomach with a desire to have a child to love and care for and cook for and all that. Swear to God, you won't believe me but this is what happened:

I was queuing for painkillers in a shop on the Strand, when I looked up and saw a shelf of Calpol. there was a picture of a blonde kid on the front (I'd never liked blonde kids: too Village of the Damned). And suddenly I was just OVERWHELMED with a need to buy the Calpol for a child. I know! MENKULIST. I actually put my hand up to the shelf. Anyway I spend the rest of the day in a weird tearful haze.

Ever since I've been thinking about it but always had lots on (change of career, PhD etc.). Then I realised I wasn't ACTUALLY getting any younger so thought we'd better get on with it.

So anyway (sorry for ramble ) that's how it happened....

On an unrelated note: these days my hangovers include 48 hours straight of sadness. Anyone else get this? Anyone know the cure?

Boob-gropes to all.

Wow, thought mine was sudden. Agreed that Calpol Kid is very sweet. Your age, damn you, YOUR AGE?!

Hangovers for me nowadays simply prove that the devil exists. I had two glasses of lonely wine last night, and firstly I turned into an argumentative (though principled) bitch on the school trips thread, and then I woke up with a banging head. Sigh. And that's all the banging I'll be getting this weekend.

Headcase, I'm wearing my Freudian Slippers, so am fully qualified to pontificate on your case (the fact that TYF bought me them is proof that he's my soulmate) :

Sounds like when you were the baby of the family and should still have been the sole focus of all that baby-attention, your nieces and nephews started taking a lot of that way from you and, as you already realise, you were exposed to the downsides of motherhood before you could really perceive the benefits, so it must've seemed thankless and life-ruining. Most of us don't get to see or understand all the bad bits until we're of child-bearing age (even if that's the teens) and/or already broody, or at least, just presume we're going to have kids at one point, being a woman, so we can appreciate the much more important good points of motherhood.

Does my unasked-for analysis strike a chord?

BTW, I realise that my huge self-indulgent splurge of boohoo last night was a bit OTT. I might have always wanted to have kids and knew I would do (fingers crossed!), but I was determined not to start till I was 30 (ha!), as wanted to get a good education and get some living and life-experience under my belt. Well, the illness put paid to a lot of that, but am still glad I didn't have a baybee when I was my Mum's age; she was 24 when she had me. She's always said that motherhood is the best thing that ever happened to her - indeed, I think the fact that she clearly loved and enjoyed being a Mum and was so loving and involved is what created such a strong desire to be a mum within me - but also says she wishes she'd waited a few yrs. My Dad is older than her, though, and wanted to get started after @ 18months of marriage.

Am Wow at you getting hitched at 20. Not in a judgeypants way; think it's great that you are still together. Was it a childhood sweethearts thang? Oh and echoing Aryan, how old are you?

PS Cho - ARSEBUCKETS to the droid

Think I might've seen some pink earlier and am only DPO5

Har, scorps: spookily accurate in ways you couldn't have known! I was utterly ignored as a babe and young child. There are no photos of me as a baby and only one or two of me as a child (other than school photos). Was slightly, um, complicated upbringing. Amazing I'm not completely screwed up, looking back on it all now. I may explain later elsewhere...

Re marriage - yar well, brought up in a strict kind of religious sect, you see. So folk married young so as not to burn in hellfire for all eternity. Fortunately the OM is utterly my bestest pal and soulmate and the dearest man I ever did meet, so it worked out OK, but it coulda been disastrous (and see paragraph above re. screwed-up-ness).

I shall be 31 this year! a relative babe in BESH terms but I went and had a facial (NOT THAT KIND) last week and she offered me an anti-aging one

I don't think your splurge was self-indulgent incidentally. I love these little wee peeps into the psyche of others.

Oooh, religious sect, eh? I wanna know more! Please to tell more somewhere else? Or am I being too nosy? I've just read 'Shame on you' by Clara Salaman, which was fiction based on her RL experience of growing up in a sect.

Yep, concur with loving the glimpses into the psyches of others. I blame being a writer, not at all due to loving a good neb (as we say round here) My folks are Militant Atheists and were socialist activists when we were growing up, so is probably the exact opposite experience to yours, and yet here we are, with the same hopes and fears People have more in common than differences, yadda yadda.

Me and TYF have spent so long trying to think of summat fun to do today or somewhere groovy to go to that we've left it too late. Twats.

Durr, and the obvious nosy question: are you still part of that religious sect? Genuine interest, not judgeypanting

This is really interesting! It's so funny (well not funny but you know) that we're all so different and yet got lots in common, to echo Scrops. My parents were the most outwardly normal and conventional people imaginable and yet four out of the five of us have had treatment for mental health problems (I'm the fifth, but it may surface any time ). It'll be interesting when and if a m/w ever asks about illnesses in the family.

That's sad-but-interesting about your siblings, RieRie. How much of it is nature, how much of it nurture? (Kinda rhetorical, not expecting you to give out more details, unless you felt like it).

It's so hackneyed to quote Larkin, but he was so spot-on: no matter how vastly different families can be, the same is true for all of us - they fuck you up, your mum and dad.

Our parents never wanted life to be hard for us and were a bit like what they call 'Helicopter Parents' nowadays (though not really bad), and me and my brother are terrible at sticking to things, motivating selves, making things happen, etc. And cos everything was done for us - we would genuinely offer to help with housework, like washing up, say, and they'd not let us - that I can see a messy room or piles of dirty dishes and it just doesn't occur to me to do anything because a tiny part of my brain just unconsciously presumes someone else will do it. Not in a Diva-ish or brattish way, like someone else should do it, I hasten to add. I really struggle with seeing what needs to be done, whether that's housework, work or my own ambitions, etc., although I don't have any problem or resentment about actually doing the things once I 'get it', not at all. The sad thing is, I'm quite naturally go-getting and ambitious and like to 'get stuck in' and work hard, but it's like I've never been given the tools to properly do so. Sounds like a shit excuse, but if you've never learnt something growing up, it is hard to do it as an adult. Like TYF growing up in an unexpressive household; he doesn't know how to talk about himself at all or even express opinions.

Am truly waffling loads today. Will be going out soon and you will be free of my blather, for a while at least

Great, I bored everyone away

I'm here my lovely. Can't believe I am also watching at the same time the National Lottery quiz

I am officially bored. Nothing on tv. MrM is feeling under the weather and doesn't want to entertain me. And stupid Amazon sent me season 11 of ER before season 10. Am tempted to watch it anyway.

Braveheart's on. I've watched it one million times.

Me bored too. TG playing stoopid wii. Can't even be arsed to try and tempt him to swi

We're watching 'Drag Me To Hell'. Guess whose choice that was Bag 'o' shite.

It has a haunted hankie in it. FFS!

I've given up and gone with ER. It's already pleasingly dramatic with crashes into the river and guns and shiz. And I have no idea who half the people are. After the first few seasons the cast changed a lot.

They may take our lives. But they will never take our FREEDOM.

Hey there!

Can I bore you with my answer to the 'did you always want children?' question?

Well, I'm going to anyway.... Yes, I've always very much wanted children. When me n t'missis got together, I knew that she didn't and decided that she was more important to me than children.

Its 8 years later now and she changed her mind when we got hitched 3 years ago. It just came out of the blue and surprised us both. Since then we've been 'trying' to have a child (which includes adoption meetings, clinics and a known donor). Missis is 40 this year and I'm a mere 31.

Personally, I've always known I would never give birth as I've always known I'm a dutty lez, but I always thought I would have a child that was not biologically mine. However, things don't always go as you expect them to and I'm trying to get my head around other options ...

P.s. I've just discovered Marsala. Never knew it existed before! Anyone care to share a large bottle?