30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

OMG, have been bawling my eyes out seeing Joy's face when she finally got to hold her baby. 40 yrs old, 5 years+ TTC, and ridiculous amounts of IVF, the look on that woman's face was pure bliss

Ladies, sorry to be so soppy and un-British, but we WILL get our babies, not matter how long it takes, what it takes and how hard it is. We will fight them in the GP's surgeries, we will never let them take away our Folic Acid and we will prise Clomid from the hands of the enemy! We will never give in, we shall never use condoms! Victory will be OURS!

Godspeed, my sisters!

Oh that was lovely, hooray for Joy!

Poor little baby had Dad's big nose, though!

Morning BESHes. Think I may have to resign from this fred, I've gone all soppy. One Born Every Minute - I LOVED it last night. From the fab woman who was willing to fight the world if they tried to take her gas & air away. Polite cough & baby was out. What a year that family had been through. Like you scorps Joy's face was fab, & sent me off blubbing too. It was so refreshing to hear someone say that even after all the trying, IVF etc she still wasn't sure she was ready. Then to see the, uh, well joy on her face. God I may start to cry again....

It was also lovely to see some nice husbands / boyf's for a change.

I think I may be a little in love with Fabio.....

gin how's the little man this morning? Hope he managed a good sleep. Poor little mite.

So, droid has gone. 2 days it lasted. What's that all about? And early - WTF?

Fertility appointment for both of us tomorrow, DUN DUN DUN...............

I also LOVED that show. I cried a bit when the baybees were born and laughed a lot when Joy and Fabio had the row about baby names, esp when he said Thai names were ridiculous. So inappropriate, so funny.

That woman with the millions of kids annoyed me a bit when she wouldn't turn over, the midwife was only trying to help her have a faster, less painful birth.

Oh, oh, and did anyone see the supernanny show on before it? I love supernanny. There was a family with a little boy who wouldn't eat proper food. they had the most gorgeous, adorable children ever. Especially the little girl.

Oh my God! Oh!!!! Have just watched it on computer. Joy is an example of a very ordinary looking woman (in the nicest possible way) being transformed into radiance and beauty by love. I'm sorry if that is far too soppy for this thread at this time of day but it's true!

On the other hand oh holy Jesus. The midwife's whole hand? No one ever told me they do that. I may have to re-think the whole thing. Her pain and shock were terrible to see. I simply can't imagine myself ever going through that but I guess you just do.

I too was a bit annoyed by the woman with who was planning her sixth child. Say everyone had six children, where would we be then?

I don't mean to sound bitchy. We went through similar things with our brother and it is utter hell. As a sibling you do feel like it's up to you to make up for him and redress the balance.

heh. The mw didn't really put her whole hand up, Joy was just a bit sore from all the fiddling about for her induction. It was probably 2 fingers.

Programme was amazing. I wept like a child and then threw myself on the sofa wailing that I would never have a baybee of my own. And then I saw poor Joy being tortured examined and decided against the whole thing.

No but seriously? Did you SEE how her screams of pain were different when being examined from labour pains? ACTUAL torment. Surely they don't have to do that? You can refuse, right? How is that even LEGAL?

I adored the sister of the 6 baby woman. Effing brilliant. So funny and articulate and loving. Surely the best bit of reality TV in years.

Hope you're all well BESHes. I'm in droid misery. Still, onward and diffedwards.

Didn't watch it,but if you're talking about artificially rupturing the membranes when inducing,which I think you are,it's really not that bad. Midwife had to have 3 goes with me. Is far from pleasant,but really not that bad honestly. Certainly not 'agony'!

In other news,mani has stopped puking and had 2 bowls of cereal for breakfast. Am so fucking relieved. And tired.

Ginny I'm awfully glad about Mani...2 bowls of cereal always a good sign!

Hm, I dunno though, she was fairly brave about actual labour pains but watching the examination (they didn't rupture the membranes or owt, 'twas too early) it genuinely looked like something out of a horror film.

Ah well. I shouldn't watch it really!

And I didn't scream once! Sort of went 'oooch' but that was about it. Double-hard bastard,me.

(am actually not especially tough,so this really should reassure you head)

Thank goodness for that. 2 bowls of cereal - he's got a lot of missed fuel to take on.

I too thought Gay Sister was wonderful.

Fanks gin, is reassuring ... though of course in my current state of mind I'm really grumbling notsurewhyI'mbovveredasI'mnevergonnawinababyanyway

ead I think with that sort of thing it's more the shock and indignity that gets to you.

Speaking of indignity I had to get the top of my ladygarden shaved off by a midwife with a dodgy bic whilst having a chat with mum and mr gin (prep for em cs)

it was actually very funny my mum was saying she could prob use a trim too....

When the consultant broke my waters it was one of the most painful bits of the whole (2 day, back to back, massive baby who got stuck and ultimately unsuccessful) labour. I think it depends how far engaged the baybee is, if it's fully engaged it's not painful, if the baybee is like dd and is too massive and too uncooperative to move down at all, it really hurts. Midwife also shaved my ladygarden. And gave me a catheter, yuck.

Ginhag great news to hear mani is getting better.

Phnar! reminds me of a fred I saw a while back where some lass wondered whether to get a Brazilian...

Mind you, I laughed her to scorn, but secretly have been planning on buying a dozen vintage white nightgowns, you know the sort of thing Lizzie Bennett would wear. And getting my eyelashes tinted. And making sure I have a Clarins powder compact to hand for that all-important first photo.

PAH! And again I say: PAH!

Oh God bess if I'd've seen your post I wouldnae have phnared!

headbanger it's fine, it was totally worth it.

I had used Veet on my ladygarden before I went in to hospital but apparently that wasn't good enough... by the time dd was born, I couldn't care less about what I looked like in photos much less find the energy to put make up on (as a consequence of which I have a number of post birth photos of Shrek holding a beautiful baybee)

Mani didn't ever engage either. Crikey I actually am a double hard bastard The midwife did keep saying stuff about high pain threshold and apologising a lot...I thought she was just being nice!

I know nothing of the pain of actual proper labour tho. So i am not a real woman...

Thanks for all the thoughts for the small one. Am really so relieved.

Ello Gin, so glad Mani is on the mend. I hope you all manage to get a decent nights sleep later.

I like the cut of your Mum's gib, Gin

I too was freaked out by Joy's screeching. Whole hand? Even though that's miles smaller than a baybee, the thought of it made me feel sick, whereas the thought of a baby coming out there doesn't. Possibly because my mind refuses to conceptualise something that big emerging from something so small

Also freaked out by 857 kids woman and sister discussing when the 'soul' begins. Answer was heart starts beating at point of conception, so that's when. Erm, a better grasp of biology might also help with not having quite so many kids? Sorry, that sounds really judgeypants; my parents and grandparents don't/didn't agree with having lots of kids, for practical and eco reasons, so I can't help thinking same.

WELL! TYF's JIAP results are in! And we can't know what they are! Because the fuckwit Drs haven't put a note on the system so the receptionist can tell us 'normal', 'bad' or 'start crying', etc., AND then the receptionist tells me it'll be this time next week when they can get a Dr to ring and tell me what the results are!!! And she says it would still take a week if the Dr gave her the basic info to pass onto me!!! FFS! WTF? SCB! (stupid cunting bastards) Told her, in nice way, that that's ridiculous and unacceptable and made her promise to press a Dr to ring me back by end of day - but I have to go out at @2 for a few hours (day off work). Oh, it's a saga now, Dave.

Told me the hospital won't give results, but am still going to ring them and press them! I know the results of a spunk test aren't medically 'urgent' to pass on, but it's bullshit making people wait an extra week to find out their results just cos someone in the surgery didn't do their job properly in the first place TTTWWWAAAAATTTTSSSS!

Ladies, please stop . I know I started it but...well, can you just ask for a Caesarian in advance citing moral and physical cowardice? I do have good reasons, I do! My mum, who has similar dimensions to me had three of us, the last in a real rush and had some hideous tear thing happen and has had bowel problems ever since which got worse and worse as she got older. And also, I've got a spinal scoliosis so head may get stuck etc etc. Do think they'd let me have one because if not, I might just have to stop the whole thing Of course it may well be too late already. The other thing is DH is going away for the second w/d in a row from Fri morning to Monday evening and I don't know many people round here yet and my family are miles away, so if droid does arrive I'll be all alone and if it doesn't and I POAS and it's positive I'll be all alone.... .

That is completely insane Scorps. Smack em.

I am waiting for yet another blood test. One of the staff members has brought their baby in to show off. I may steal it. Very cute little girl.