30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

MrM is playing with his new computer. I may never persuade him to get to bed.

This is because I won't allow a telly in the bedroom, so he stays up to watch it on purpose cos he skypluses it. I swear it must be the longest running series on telly, longer than Corrie. It bores me rigid. Plastic acting and plotless every time.

I've never seen an episode. I'm with you on the "no tv in the bedroom". I was so glad when we moved and could shift the computer out of the bedroom.

Not much. Shopping, spring cleaning, reading, having to go miles to a HDNL depot to pick up my Amazon package cos the lying useless cunt delivery driver said he couldn't deliver cos we live in a 'tower black with no street access' - which is actually a posh 6 unit apartment block with full buzzer entry with the numbers for each apartment written in giant spazmo letters, on a main road, FFS!

Whilst I'm still annoyed about that (although I'm not one to moan ), I'm not really angry about everyone being AWOL; just mocking my couchpotato-iness

I heart ER. So when it ended. How are you feeling now? I'm off to beddibyes as soon as I post this

Just checking in to see did Medee and Head poas yet - obviously not, seeing as it is eight o clock on Sunday morning. I am liking the Sunday to wednesday three days before droid approach Head - I think I will apply it tomorrow myself for Thursday. No symptoms of any kind of course, but I've never let that stop me before.

Well, I am off to walk the medieval walls of Dubrovnik now.

Spazmo is my new favourite word.

No POASing from me yet, twitty. They iz not cheap, and I haven't got money to piss on burn...

The weird ovulation type pain worse today though. I need to shut up about it to the OM, who's getting excited and wants a 'serious' conversation about names (I still maintain that Constance, Edith, Ethel and Cordelia are perfectly good names for girls).

Medeeeeeeeeeeee what news?

(Ps I realise I said I would POAS today but I have chickened out big style. No sticks in the hizzouse & by the time I get back from Boots it won't be nice strong early morning wazz. Plus, Wednesday would be the earliest the droid's due. If my cycle is weirdly long like last time it'll be Friday.)

All None of this is cowardice, you understand...

Morning biaatches. Medee I've got everyfink crossed for you this morning.

Edbanger I am thinking Calypso is a perfectly reasonable name for our next daughter - I may even have convinced TG on it. All we have to do now is get me up the duff.

Read the stuff about interpreting baby cries... Have you seen this? We got the DVD when Iris was born and it was fucking brilliant (if you can ignore the incredibly annoying voiceover).

www.dunstanbaby.com/cms/index.php?page=eu-home

Poops Calypso is lovely. I always fink about what different nicknames can come out of it and there's loads of nice ones with that. Cal if she's tomboyish, Callie if more girly. Lipsy is cool and quirky. Sorry, I have probs now ruinated the name for you! Iz nice tho.

I really like the name Ethel. It makes me think of handsome wistful Edwardian women with magnificent profiles, that wore exquisite corseted dressed whilst campaigning for votes for women. The OM says 'Ethel the Frog.' I have no idea what that means, but apparently it's an insuperable barrier. I also like the name Flora. "Margarine!", howls the OM.

not good news.

Spotting started yesterday evening, pale brown, though very little. Temp drop this morning, but nothing in pants, so at MrM's encouragement, tested anyway - negative. Spotting now a pale pink, though still v little. My body is fucking with me.

There was a Calypso in the Camomile Lawn - she was a saucy minx.

M'dear fucking ball bags to the droid. Really sorry pal. I find it really difficult not to be all optimistic and say things like 'but is the spotting less than normal droidage', but I know that's not always helpful. So I shan't.

what an utter mindfuck this whole thing is.

Bumsticks, Medee I hate it when medical folks roll out the 'don't get upset over stuff cos stress is bad for TTC' platitudes, cos how are you expected to not get upset when you've been hoping and symptom-spotting and thinking that 'this' is your month... and then the droid turns up, the metal shitbag. Aprt from the disappointment, I always get so angry with myself like 'why on earth did you think this would be your month, you wizened old crone?'.
Big snogs

Headfuck, I used to POAS early when I was first TTCing, but it only does your head in. I hope this month is your win, but if it's not, get thee to eBsy to buy bumper packs of piss-sticks for embarrassingly low prices. There's OPK and win/fail bundles a-gogo over there. And I love all your and Poo's baby names. As I'm always saying on here, me and TYF only like old people names and have our future offspring's names down to a list of 2 options for each sex (not telling, ner ner), none of which were popular beyond 1930 at the latest. I talked him out of Muriel, which I thought was going too far, but kinda dig it now, as Mew is a cool abbreviation. Any girls will get one of my Grans' names as a middle name, which are both grantastically retro and ace (not to mention reminding me of 2 of the loveliest people ever). I also like Flora and Clover but 'margarine - no!' was the reaction I got too Ethel is groovy, but reminds me of the feisty old biddy off Eastenders (not nec. a bad thing). My friend's daughter is called Cordelia, but that's cos he and the ExW were massive Buffy fans, so people might think you'd called her that cos of Buffy.

It's funny how we're digging the old-time monikers; we'll prolly think we're really unique and cool and then our little darlings will go to school and the class with be full of Elsies, Pearls, Wilfs and Arthurs, etc. Which wouldn't be bad, seeing as our joint fave name will make a certain amount of people go 'you called her what?'. Gawd, get me waffling on as per usual - I probably need the baybee first before I get so obsessive about names. But, erm, I've had a puter file called 'Baby Names' which I add to regularly since I was 25. I really, really need to win soooooooooooon!

PS Not Lipsy for Calypso - is name of slaggy clothes range, innit.

PPS SSW - Dubrovnic, eh? S'alright for some

Time for the CBFM, some of Polly's suggestions, and a cycle off.

Friends who've recently given birth have named them above others Rupert, Henry, Esme, Florence, Elsie, Mabel. Um....didn't really know what to say when they told me though they do grow on you. I'd deffo draw the line at Mildred (The Worst Witch anyone?), Muriel (makes me think of musty smelling great aunts, and Pearl (remember the old bitch who was worse than Nora Batty in Last of the Summer Wine?) Some of them are quite sweet.

Sorry about the horrid droid Medee

Oh fucksticks Medee. I was rooting for you.

thanks all.

Oh Medee I'm proper gutted for you. I found a month off did wonders for my mental state. No really, it did!

There was a girl called Laura at school, her nickname was Flora - spreads easily. That is that name out then!

Aries, you mentioned one of our short-listed names amongst all of those Think most people will have your reaction, but I don't care

Oh Scorps! I'm just a silly old bitch who only likes boring names. Rachel. See! Rebecca. Laura.

I like all the names Aries mentioned. Mabel is fab, it ought to be more popular, given how popular the variants of Isobel are.

I love the name Isobel, I can see any daughter of mine being the millionth Isobel in her class.

No I'm going to follow Scorpette into the toilet and cry.

Meant "now"

I also like Rachel, Rebecca and Laura!

And if you all hide in the toilets you won't get one of these cinnamon muffins I have baking in the oven. With a hidden jammy centre.