30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

I'm hoping so, Muser. I was due yesterday, Head, and since coming off the pill haven't had longer than a 42 day cycle, so I am still hopeful. Will re-test Sunday, so maybe there is still scope for nekkid dancing, Polly!

That's rubbish med had high hopes for you.

I had too, Laurie. Now, what about my Pissing Twin, Cokie?

Oh M'Dear, is good that there's still hopefulness...

By the way, observe my menkul: had protracted conversation with best pal the other night about state versus private schools.

There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I can't tell you.

Hell yeah, no pressure cokie but over to you m'love.

med I have 1 nipple out nekkid dancing (feels kinda nice) as the droid hasn't rained on your parade just yet.

T'other morning, my tummy rumbled pre-breakfast, and I wondered to myself, mmm, hungrier than usual, is that because I need to be eating for 2? Menkul.

In other news: I just forwarded an email to a colleague (very senior and important etc.). Immediately after pressing send I realised that if she scrolled down, she would see a conversation in which I refer to her as being 'ferocious' and 'cross'.

Oh my good God.

quick, do a recall!

med I'd say that was a sure fire certainty (however, I am firmly in the menkal camp. I hardly slept all night clenching so stop the appearance of the droid - its not even really due for another few days. If I carry on like this I'll have a Geoff Capes fanjo).

I don't think I have a recall funktion medee - and in any case it's too late - I sent a humourous email apologising and thereby drew her attention to it.

Oh JESUS.

Oh, head that......just........so..... ^awfulHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I can't hold it in any longer.......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Shit!

One of those "Surely this is a nightmare" moments. Maybe you could backtrack and say that ferocious and cross are really synonyms for disciplined and assertive in the world of work and you respect her for it. Gulp.

I literally cannot believe it. Maybe it is a nightmare

Nope it's all real.

I never make that sort of mistake. I mean never. EVER.

I'm going to have to look for another job. I can't tell you what I do cos my cover will be blown but trust me, these people are ferocious for a fucking living. I am going to be dismantled piece by piece.

If only I'd won a baybee I could appeal to her better nature. But NO.

bloody fucking ell headcase thats a classic

so sorry but like laurie i am having to have a wee chuckle - sure you can't blame it on hormones???!

muse thinking of you dude, glad nae mair drugs, fingers crossed the levels drop

You still have a job, head? Maybe they'll think you're super double hard & ferocious too for having the nerve to say it to said person?

I have a job for now. I just confessed to my boss, who did a gigantic wince and said 'Oh she won't notice.'

'Oh she will,' said I, 'what with my having emailed her AGAIN to draw her particular attention to it.'

I can taste metal on my tongue. Is that shock? It's shock, isn't it. I'm going into shock. And I don't even like sweet tea.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Sorry Heads. It was the follow up email that did it. At some point you'll look back and laugh.

Try a gigantic swig of gin if you don't like sweet tea.

Yes. I shall laugh from my position in the queue at Jobcentre Plus.

If only I'd chosen to insult a male (insert profession of your choice). Then I could present myself to their (insert workplace of your choice) all moist-eyed and heavy-bosomed, and cast myself upon their mercy. But No.

I'll update you. Just so you can laugh harder as my life crumbles like biscuits around my ears.

They are not going to fire you for this! You'll just wish they would.

Oh thank the Lord. She just emailed very sweetly saying I had nothing to worry about it, and concluded with a kiss. And indeed saying it was a perfectly justified description.

Well thanks for all your support BESHes!

Now then. Is that the droid stirring my insides, or a baybee?

Phew. Phew.

v glad for you headylamarr

Fanks sally! Fanks Aries! Fanks Moos!

I am glad head but fanks for being so entertaining!

Metal flavour - isn't that an updiff sign?